You find the most interesting things when you check out people who comment on your blog. Things like this:
I could choose to let this veil be my identity. However, our Muslim brothers and sisters have turned our Islam into a religion of inequality, suppression and injustice, so I can not for any other reason than to please you Allah wear this veil. They have taken the rights you have given me and told me that this is not what you meant. They taken from me basic human needs and told me that this is not what Allah has intended for me.
Oh, Allah, if they could they would steal the heaven that you have layed beneath my feet…
from I Believe in Advertising, via Gawker. I don’t care if it IS 30% off, it’s still got to piss off the gods of literature! And then there’s Dumas, Discounted:
It’s true what Tina Turner said, that rap is a great thing because now you don’t even have to be able to sing to be a rock star. Very egalitarian.
And Jessica Delfino can’t sing, really, well, she’s about as good as I am, meaning she can’t sing, really, but she sure can write a catchy tune, and she raps pretty well for a white girl. As the fellow who put it on YouTube says, “Such a pretty face, such a dirty mouth.” Definitely a winning combination, now as ever.
CONTROVERSIAL SINGER-SONGWRITER Jessica Delfino‘s latest chart-topping single[sic, I’m supposing this is a joke], “My Pussy Is Magic,” has been expunged from the pages of YouTube. The video–a virtual palimpsest [also sic; I have no idea what they think this word means] of stark images of Jessica tunefully fluttering in front of stark images of vaginas–was banned this morning.
And restored in a coupla hours. There’s something to be said for being Gawked and Aped and (as would have happened inevitablybut is at this moment only waiting in the wings) BoingBoinged and Farked.
As Jessy said on YouTube:
If God had meant us to be naked he would’ve made us that way. Naked women is not porn according to law, so YouTube should move to Iran where it is a crime. Neo-Nazis are bad people.
This morning, “My Pussy Is Magic“, the new dance hit video by me, Jessica Delfino, was removed from Youtube.com for being considered “inappropriate”! Inappropriate my ass! If anyone saw the video, they saw lots of vaginas. Since when are vaginas inappropriate? I came out of a vagina, and so did the makers of Youtube.
The video had reached 20,000 views, and then was removed this morning.
Youtube was bought by Google, and now my poor, rising video was crushed. Does Google censor art!? Write to them and ask!
I think my favorite was the one that apologized for “errors” in a celeb schooldays reminiscence…one that characterized two boys as the sons of a “Costa del Sol gangster” and who entered said celeb’s room greasing a baseball bat with Vaseline and yelling words to the effect of “Who’s first? Bend over!”
And who were actually named by said celeb. Said later apologetic and corrective celeb. Rupert Everett, I think? If so, a much more promising debut in fiction than his subsequent unendurable novel. Everett is at his best doing straightforwardly hallucinogenic nonfiction, as some of his work for VF proves.
In any case, one of my longtime favorite sites is Regret the Error, which publishes corrections with a particularly good eye for the amusing. Amusing crow-eating warms the bitter, shrivelled cockles of my heart, and so I am going to give you an example of their choice choices in the correction field.
A correction from The Orange County Register, Sept 23:
Cannabis is a synonym for marijuana. Because of a reporter’s error, the word was misspelled in an article on Page 15 of the News section in the Sept. 22 edition of the Register.
The original sentence:
The pot growers had tapped into an irrigation line for landscaping around the gated community of Stoneridge, and had rigged up a network of white, 3/4-inch PVC piping to grow the cannibals.
Well, if this doesn’t get my blog re-labeled Porn, nothing will.
Here is the loathesome apotheosis of all that is hateful about that little shit Elmo; hardcore furry-on-furry-on-furry action. We at the raincoaster blog have always kept a squinty eye on the horrible, giggling homonculus, and not without good reason. Reasons. As Defamer says,
FINALLY A CELEBRITY SEX TAPE WORTH OUR TIME
[Warning: The above video may be NSFW; please check your employer’s policy on viewing sexually explicit material starring plush children’s toys before viewing.]
This is from Poopycaca.com (when you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca is there). Me like.
The tape, made prior to Tickle Me Elmo’s success and fame on Sesame Street, was recently discovered by TMZ.COM working in conjunction with investigative reporters from PoopyCaca.com. “Tickle Me Harder” shows Elmo, who is credited under with the name “El Macho,” in compromising positions with two other actors, “Jack Mo’” and “Steve.”
Publicly, Elmo made a brief statement to reporters saying only, “Elmo no like.”
Well if you watch this video, you’ll have to disagree. It appears that Elmolikes it. He likes it hard!
raincoaster 