Pentecostals want to spend taxes de-gaying Norwegian bunnies

Gay dogs do it doggie styleThat’s about it, really.

Except that the Lutherans, by contrast, simply wish the Norwegians to burn in Hell, rather than waste any time in attempts at animal re-heterosexualizing first.

I guess they don’t like waiting.

A Lutheran priest said he hoped the organisers would “burn in hell,” and a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers’ money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct “their perversions and deviances”.

To be fair, this one looks like he's on the DLGot this from ArchieArchive‘s report on the Oslo exhibition of animal homosexuality. It’s a really interesting report, and the links provide some much-needed insight into the very nature of human character.

Big horn sheep “need to have sex with their own fellows just to be accepted. And by being accepted they are making up very important social relations which later give them better access to females,” says Mr Soeli

So Hollywood really IS run by sheep. That would explain why nobody’s bought my script yet. Maybe I should have my agent fuck them…oh right. Anybody know a pretty, gay agent? 

And look, here’s Annie and Susan, explained:

Among swans and flamingos there have been cases of two females living together using sexual contact with males purely to reproduce.  

And, look over there, behind the bearded moss: Tom and John!

Strap in!

Or is it Lance and Matchew?

It has been reported that in certain bird species males double up, allowing them to control a larger territory than a heterosexual couple, which in turn serves to attract more females.

Looks like it’s working…

Tom Cruise, So in love

U2charist: with Billy Corgan, choirboy

That’s the truly awesome new U2/Green Day video for The Saints Are Coming. Watch it; it’s an eyeful, just as it should be. Strong medicine hurts going down.

And this is the story of how church services are using the music of the greatest band in the world to inspire a new generation of Christians.

A communion service based on the music of U2 has become the latest trend for a number of Episcopal churches across the U.S.

The U2Charist–named after the band and the Eucharist communion–weaves songs by the Irish rockers into a church service along with corresponding slides.

Reported by USA Today, the special service was the idea of the Reverend Paige Blair, an Episcopal priest in York Harbor, Maine, who held the first U2Charist at her church on July 31, 2005.

Kicking off with “Pride (In the Name Of Love),” the service also incorporates images from historical civil rights campaigners such as Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Rosa Parks… a key part is an offering for Bono‘s campaign to eradicate extreme poverty and global AIDS.

On this, Blair added: “It’s a big reason that this has taken off as a movement. It’s what Bono and the band are passionate about.”

Take THAT, Rolling Stones!

god. hates. shrimp.

god also hates sea monkeys, as do all parents 

No, seriously. You can look it up: god hates shrimp.

In yet another aberrational moment, I am using a link someone posted in the comments section here, instead of something I stole mine own self off Gawker or Fark, as is the usual procedure ’round these parts.

It’s because I’m out of coffee; that would account for almost any aberrational behaviour on my part. I haven’t gone coffeeless in a number of decades, ever since the disastrous Inka experiment of ’86.

I’m assuming the link-dropper is also out of coffee, or perhaps in that blogger’s case herbal tea, as they requested specifically that I delete the comment they had just made.

And here I thought I was self-sabotaging!

Perhaps they fear the wrath of Cthulhu! In any case, here is the go-to site for all you shrimp-hating gods. I am interested to note that it informs me of a recently-overturned ban on shrimp-eating in Massachusetts and San Francisco. It appears that Christian fundamentalists there are now going to have to brave the risks of accidental apostology when consuming the jambalaya.

Play it safe, people: order the calamari!

We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Giant Nautilus Squid, somewhat angry

extreme halloween!!!

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu nafhtagn! Cthulhu trikrtriit! 

Or at least extreme jack o’lanterns.

I rarely post anything anyone sends me, which is a shame, as I am very lazy, yo. But I’m just contrarian enough to reject the help when people offer it for free.

Except when they offer this: jack o’lanterns from Extreme Pumpkin, in the shape of an octopus attacking a fish and a flaming tiki god. Thanks, Metro!

flaming tiki god jackolantern!

just in time for Halloween

Jack O'LanternThis is one of those unfairly neglected posts that are clicked once and then forgotten. A moving work of art by the team responsible for Chad Vader, Night Shift Manager, this piece suffered earlier by being somewhat ahead of its time.

That time has now come.

Behold The Life and Death of a Pumpkin, by some Wisconsonian guys channelling Bergman.