Category Archives: Christmas

Porky Pig’s Blue Christmas

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The greatest and most moving Christmas classic of all time.

That’s all, folks!

a child’s podcast in Wales

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Lydia sent me Dylan Thomas’ A Child’s Christmas in Wales as mp3’s, so I thought I’d share them. Hopefully this will work, as I haven’t got time to tweak Odeo and bend it to my will like I normally do.

UPDATE: Nope, it don’t. Will try to fix it later, wish me luck. This should work.

Part One: [odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/4008963/view]

Part Two: [odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/4009513/view]

The Billy Idol Christmas Album

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Now it's Billy who's the old drunk yelling at the Christmas tree 

It’s beginning to look a lot like has beens, everywhere you go. There’s a feeble attempt to groove, a face too plastic to move, a greedy ex-wife, plus there’s all the blow…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the legendary punk rocker Billy Idol has finally given up all pretense to cool and released the predictable mid-career Christmas album, twenty years too late. While his voice has always boasted the lushness of port-soaked velvet and may indeed suit the material (or it did a generation ago. like when he released Yellin’ at the Christmas Tree), let’s just say that celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus in song isn’t the very first thing that comes to mind when I think of Billy Idol.

Listen to a bizarrely country-themed yet shockingly not half bad Winter Wonderland here. And while you’re there, you can order Billy Idolwear, including thongs! As if anyone close to Billy wears underwear…

And just for auld lang syne:

“Yellin’ At The Xmas Tree“

(Billy Idol/Brian Tichy)

When I was a small boy
Here in London town
Seasons snow was falling on the ground
All the friends and family
Here on Christmas Eve
Gather round to dress
The Christmas tree
But daddy’s down at the pub
Full of Christmas cheer
Probably won’t come home
Until next year

[Chorus:]
Oh the Christmas bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
But Daddy, he don’t hear ’em
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips a-wiggling
But Daddy, he don’t hear ’em
He’s yellin, he’s yellin’
At the Christmas tree

All right now yeah…

Uncle is a sports fan
Granny likes a joke
But no one laughs when
Daddy’s stumbles home
But he don’t fall asleep
Wah! The night was getting black

You see, oh God,
Dad had too much Jack
Oh Lord!

Every year is the same old thing
Like Rudolph’s red nose
Telling this story will never get old

[Chorus]

Well alright now yeah…
Well alright now…
Yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Santa came down the chimney
But then he ran upstairs
Jumped in bed with Mommy
She didn’t care
Across the room went the fruitcakes
Ah, the wreath came off the door
If these are holidays I can take no more
Every year it’s the same old thing
Like Rudolph’s red nose
Hearing this story will never get old

[Chorus]

Santa’s balls are jingling
Mommy’s hips a-wiggling
But Daddy, he don’t hear ’em
He’s yellin’
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree

Well alright now yeah…

He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s yellin’ at the Christmas tree
He’s sleeping it the Christmas tree

A Billy Idol Steve Stevens Christmas Card, no word of a lie

Leslie Harpold: advent to ascent

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advent calendar Leslie Harpold

No need for a calendar anymore, Leslie Harpold.

Multi-talented Internet personality, muse, mentor, inspiration and creator of the famous online Advent Calendar Leslie Harpold died at home over the weekend of complications of bronchitis.

She’d hate this to be tied to classic didacticism, but she’d hate being dead, too, so I’m going to go ahead and take this opportunity to remind people to get themselves checked out when they get sick. Sure, you may think the doctor will assume you’re a wuss, but better that he see you every fall and think you’re a wuss than he not see you this year and never get the chance to again. You can’t tell when it’s potentially fatal pneumonia or pleurisy or whatever…he can.

The Advent Calendar is frozen on December 7, and serves as a poignant memorial to a woman who was more interested in what magic she could bring to or bring out in other people than in herself.

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a Cthulhu carol: it’s beginning to look a lot like fishmen

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Yes, it’s time for another installment of raincoaster’s multiculti holiday multimedia…ums. Today we’re featuring “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen” from the HP Lovecraft Historical Society, who broke my heart when their free downloadable Miskatonic diploma wouldn’t bloody well download, but I’m SO OVER THAT!

It’s beginning to look a lot like fish-men
Everywhere I go;
From the minute I got to town
And started to look around
I thought these ill-bred people’s gillslits showed.
I’m beginning to hear a lot of fish-men
Right outside my door,
As I try to escape in fright
To the moonlit Innsmouth night
I can hear some more.

They speak with guttural croaks and to hear them provokes
A profound desire to flee
Their eyes never blink and quite frankly they stink
Like a carcass washed up from the sea.

I wish I’d paid attention to that crazy drunken man.
He tried to warn me all about old Marsh’s Deep One clan.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Fish-men
Everywhere I go;
They can dynamite Devil Reef,
but that’ll bring no relief,
Y’ha N’thlei is deeper than they know.
I’ll continue to see a lot of fish-men
That I guarantee.
For the fish-man I really fear
is the one who’s in the mirror
And he looks like me.
He looks just like me.
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