Category Archives: Crime

the faces of terror

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According to the Americans, this is what a terrorist looks like:

maher arar

and like this

Pretty hot for a terrorist, eh?

and like this

tiny toddling terrorist?

Well, you may say, better safe than sorry. After all, we don’t know what the kid had in her diaper, and the first two are kinda swarthy-lookin’.

And yes, fair enough, they do look kinda tan for, respectively, a Canadian and a Swede, but since Maher Arar was cleared of terrorism charges and released after spending two years of torture in a Syrian prison(Syria being the US’s favorite offshore torture facility), and since Prince Carl Philip of Sweden is in line for the throne of a major European monarchy, besides being a total hottie, to keep Arar on the no-fly list and to arrest and detain HRH CP in jail overnight for using his diplomatic passport and looking insufficiently regal seems a tad…well, overzealous.

Whereas we have no sympathy whatsoever for the three year old girl who threw a screaming tantrum while her flight was boarding, and who was thrown off the plane and banned along with her parents for “attacking a woman” (who happened to be her mother). If empowered to do so, I myself would unhesitatingly throw off a plane anyone I felt looked like they could at some point in the flight become flatulent, hog the armrest, throw a screaming fit, attack someone, discuss real estate or smokers’ rights, or chew with their mouths open. And I wouldn’t wait for the bloody plane to land, either. Softies!

So, with passport requirements stiffening, even for US citizens trying to re-enter their own country — don’t misplace yours. If it can happen to Swedish royalty, it can happen to anyone.

Well, OK, there is one difference between royalty and us little guys in this situation…

“I got the impression that he thought it was quite exciting,” said documentary film maker Folke Rydén, who was traveling with the Prince as part of the filming project.

Special bonus British terrorist:

Yeah, he just looks like trouble. It's the eyes...you can see it in his eyes

Jay Cowper, the tiny terrorist, the huggable hoodie.

The shop, which serves the well-to-do Huntington area of York, is only a five-minute walk from the family home but it was a cold and windy night so Jay was wrapped up in a brown Next jacket with a furry hood.

Mrs Cowper said: “No sooner had they got inside than the shopkeeper said to my husband, ‘Could you ask the little boy to remove his hood?’

“My husband said, ‘He’s only two and a half, I don’t think he’s going to rob you!’“

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Cthulhu versus the World: a YouTube Masterpiece

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In which the Great Cthulhu discovers the joys of pure evil,
and puts paid to a panda over pounding punk. 

“Wha? Batman? This doesn’t even make sense!“

Like that’s bad.

the custody battle from hell

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This is a dead dog. Just wait for it.Oooooh, this isn’t going to end well.

The short version is:

  • a woman’s dog died at the vet.
  • Someone claiming to be a friend of hers picked it up.
  • Turns out that was no friend; it was her ex-husband.
  • Now she wants the dog back, but he says he’s going to bury it instead, nyeah, nyeah.
  • The charge is larceny.

Thank god some couples don’t have children: they are children.

Attorney General told judges not to use judgement

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Gonzales equals torture

Yep, in typical “we know what’s best for you all” fashion, Alberto Gonzalez, Attorney General of the United States, will advise judges Wednesday that they should allow the wishes of the White House cabal to override their judicial independence and oversight when it comes to … basically, anything.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says federal judges are unqualified to make rulings affecting national security policy, ramping up his criticism of how they handle terrorism cases.

In remarks prepared for delivery Wednesday, Gonzales says judges generally should defer to the will of the president and Congress when deciding national security cases. He also raps jurists who “apply an activist philosophy that stretches the law to suit policy preferences.”

Just like he’s asking them to do, to suit White House policy preferences. Let us just hope that he’s restrained by higher-ups who see that the Constitution and the independent Judiciary are not to be trifled with.

Oh, that’s right. He reports to Cheney.

in praise of granny panties

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Well, do ya, punk?Here’s another reason (as if you needed another reason) to love granny panties: they make excellent undeclared carry-ons! I may never have to do without my box cutters on a long flight ever again.

Pun away… Stolen from Sky News, via Fark.

A grandmother who tried to smuggle heroin into Australia by packing it in her underwear has been jailed for six years.