Another rival to the clown crown falls to “natural causes.” So-called “natural causes.”

Larry Harmon as Bozo the Clown

“I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet,
(people) would never be able to forget those footprints,” he said.

Yes, one of the most prominent clowns in history, Larry Harmon, has died. Harmon, who played Bozo the Clown for most of the latter part of the Twentieth Century and could plausibly said to have been the first person of any description to clone a clown, is only the most recent in a string of mysterious clown deaths.

Larry Harmon, dead at 83.

Marcel Marceau, dead at 84.

Red Skelton, dead at 84.

Nicolai Poliakoff OBE, dead at 74.

Achille Zavatta, dead at 78.

One by one, the most prominent clowns in the world have been picked off, most succumbing to the blandly ubiquitous “natural causes,” and none living much past their 84th birthday.

The world shrugs, sighs, says “these things happen,” ah yes, but why do they always seem to happen to the rivals of one man? One man who is known to associate with hardened criminals. One man who has at his fingertips the very substances of which a heart attack is made?

One man, ladies and gentlemen. One man named Ronald McDonald.