doublespeak and TWAT

from Timothy Lynch of the Cato Institute, who actually called it “Doublespeak and the War on Terrorism.”

The abstract:

Five years have passed since the catastrophic terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Those attacks ushered in the war on terror. Since some high-ranking government officials and pundits are now referring to the war on terror as the “Long War” or “World War III,” because its duration is not clear, now is an appropriate time to take a few steps back and examine the disturbing new vocabulary that has emerged from this conflict.

One of the central insights of George Orwell’s classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four concerned the manipulative use of language, which he called “newspeak” and “doublethink,” and which we now call “doublespeak” and “Orwellian.” Orwell was alarmed by government propaganda and the seemingly rampant use of euphemisms and halftruths— and he conveyed his discomfort with such tactics to generations of readers by using vivid examples in his novel. Despite our general awareness of the tactic, government officials routinely use doublespeak to expand, or at least maintain, their power.

The purpose of this paper is not to criticize any particular policy initiative. Reasonable people can honestly disagree about what needs to be done to combat the terrorists who are bent on killing Americans. However, a conscientious discussion of our policy options must begin with a clear understanding of what our government is actually doing and what it is really proposing to do next. The aim here is to enhance the understanding of both policymakers and the interested lay public by exposing doublespeak.

and the full report as PDF here.

dial m for moron

Dial M for MurderIt seems somebody’s been watching too much late-night Hitchcock: Mr. Michael James Kuhnhausen is accused of hiring an incompetent hitman to off his wife. The wife was slightly injured; the hitman was strangled by the intended victim. And Mr. Kuhnhausen had better pray he remains in custody, particularly if he watched either Dial M for Murder or A Perfect Murder all the way to the end.

The AP has the full report:

Detectives said he helped disarm the security alarm at his wife’s home on Sept. 6 and let Edward Haffey in. Haffey, armed with a claw hammer, then waited for Susan Kuhnhausen to arrive home from her nursing job.

Haffey struck her several times in the head, but Kuhnhausen managed to take the hammer away, according to a court affidavit obtained by The Oregonian newspaper. Kuhnhausen lost her grip on the weapon, and wrestled with Haffey. The intruder bit Kuhnhausen several times, and she bit back.

Finally, the 51-year-old woman was able to get on top of Haffey, and place him in a choke hold. She eventually choked the life out of him…

Detectives checked Haffey‘s background, discovering his lengthy prison terms for conspiracy to commit aggravated murder, and convictions for robbery and burglary. They also learned that he had worked as a custodian for the Fantasy Adult Video stores. Detectives talked to the company and found out that Michael Kuhnhausen was the supervisor for custodians, and had hired Haffey.

And not only is the bitch tough enough to strangle an intruder a perfect murder...not so perfect after all, eh?to death with her bare hands and composedly finger her husband once the cops arrived, but she’s got her spiel all Oprah-ready. A nurse with lethal weapons for hands and a flack’s silvery tongue is a woman who is poised to conquer: next stop the White House?

Susan Kuhnhausen, who has been out of town attending a national Emergency Nurses Association conference, left the following message on her home voice mail:

“I’m not able to answer all the calls that I’ve received. I’m being comforted by your concern and your support. I want you to know that our lives are all at risk for random acts, but more likely random acts of love will come your way than random acts of violence.”

chubby bunny not so funny

Sorry, had to. From the CBC.

Have you heard of the popular new pastime for folks whose day-to-day lives just don’t contain enough challenge and excitement for their supercharged adrenal glands? No, not reality television. Chubby bunny contests. This highly competitive sporting event requires participants to stuff their faces with as many large marshmallows as they possibly can and still say the words “chubby bunny.”

Well today those bunnies came home to roost.

That's quite a chubby!

A woman is dead after choking during a marshmallow-eating contest at the Western Fair in London, Ont.

The 32-year-old woman died in hospital Wednesday, a day after collapsing offstage during a Chubby Bunny competition.

The contest features people stuffing one marshmallow at a time into their mouth then saying “chubby bunny” until they can’t say it anymore. The person who gags, chokes or spits out the marshmallows loses.

Emergency crews who arrived on the scene tried to help the unconscious woman but couldn’t remove the blockage in her throat. She was revived at the hospital, but later died.

The fair has since cancelled the eating contest.

white box

something for George.

moby’s SO over techno

So over technology of all kinds that he’s not going to use the Internet till next year. But he wants you to keep those cards and letters coming; also the visits and phonecalls. Meatspace rulz!

From Gawker.

> From: moby
> Date: Sep 15, 2006 5:31 AM
> Subject: might sound crazy, but…
> To: MOBY HALL
>
>
> well, this might sound crazy.
> ok, most likely it will sound crazy.
> but it’s something that i’m going to try…
> at present i receive between 200-400 emails a day.
> and i check on-line news around 15 times a day.
> so, for the rest of the year, i’m turning off my email and i’m not
> going
> to use the internet.
> yes, that sounds nuts, i know.
> if you want to get in touch with me you can call me or visit me or
> send me a letter.
> i’ll make it easy:
>
> my phone: [redacted]
>
> my home: [redacted]
>
> so, write me or call me.
> oh, i don’t have an answering machine. so if i’m not here you’ll have
> to call back.
> who knows, this might be a disaster.
> or it might make me more sane.
> i promise to pick up the phone if i’m here.
> and if you visit i’ll answer the door.
> eh, we’ll see how it goes.
> it’s only until january 1st, 2007, at which point i’ll check my email
> and let you know what it’s
> like not having email/internet/answering-machine/cell-phone.
> my email/internet will be off starting…now(ok, not ‘now’, but ‘in 2
> minutes’).
> just think of me as your crazy friend who’s trying an experiment.
> -moby
>
> p.s-really, you wanna come visit? i’ll be here.

I’m so there, man. Now, where do you live again?