Category Archives: Culture

Top 46 Differences if Tarantino directed Star Wars

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Geek! Geek! Geek!Normally I'm with Tom Lehrer, who insisted that the reason most folk songs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people.

Every eighteen or twenty years or so, however, something fan-generated comes along and actually justifies the pixels that died to give it life.

Like this.

Top 46 Differences if Tarantino directed Star Wars

46. Stormtroopers are spray-painted so they aren't all "Mr. White"
by Timberline_Ridge

45. Darth Vader dances around as he tortures Han Solo to the song "Stuck In The Middle With You." Then he looks at the guard and says "Bring in the gimp."
by AshFalling

44. Mace Windu with a 'fro.
by Keith

43. Releasing the episodes in the order of 6,3,2,4,5, and finaly 1 just so people wont notice how uninteresting the entire hexilogy is.
by Bildo Baggens

42. John Williams score replaced by surf music.
by Peregrin Toker

41. Everyone dies. EVERYONE.
by Greedo

how raincoaster turned out the way she did

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Don't blame Canada, blame American television!

Growing up I obviously couldn't decide which of these two to use as a role model and so used them both, ending up the mixed-up bitchfest of luv that I am today. No, seriously…do you know me? And does this not explain all?

No wonder I turned out like this:

Save Adam Sandler!

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The Fuggers have done it again. Leaving alone Kate's horrific tit job stretch marks (nobody should have stretch marks there) they have gone straight for the freeze-dried jugular. I can hardly wait till their standards are lowered enough to cover Ann Coulter.

Kate 'n Adam

Adam: Dude, this chick is craaaaaazy.

Kate: Do you think her hair is prettier than mine?

Adam: I think she is from hell.

Kate: That outfit makes her knees look bloated. THAT is why the only liquid I eat is lemon juice.

Adam: You scare me.

Kate: I'm famished. Got any Tic-Tacs?

Adam: I have no idea why I am here.

Kate: Or, God, I'm so hungry I could even be really decadent and have a sugar-free Life-Saver.

Adam: I'm sure I could rustle up a cracker.

Kate: What? What kind of shit is that? A CRACKER? I'm supposed to eat starches now?

Adam: Seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing here.

Kate: What are you trying to do, fatten me up on the eve of my big movie release? BOLLOCKS TO YOU.

Adam: The rapping genie girl is starting to look better and better to me.

fark that

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There is a very obvious reason Fark dominates online news. Over CNN? Pfffffft yeah. Wolf vs Drew?

Check out a typical CNN headline vs a typical Fark headline. Fark simply employs (or, more likely, simply buys beer for) the best headline writers in the biz.

Fark:

British authorities name new teenage sex-help phone line "Sexual Health Action Group." Acronym-alarity is now ensuing

CNN:

Uh, no actual comparative headline, because CNN doesn't cover stories like that. Sure. Although they do have a story about a malfunctioning penile implant. From my experience with penises, that would have to be WAY outtaline to be newsworthy.

Actually, my fave Fark headline is (and this has to be re-created from memory because I'm too lazy to look through the archives):

Woman arrested for sex with 14-year-old boy, with pic-MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!

a terrifying message from Al Gore! and Matt Groening!

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Added on June 23, 2006, 08:57 AM
by ParamountClassics 

Provided By:

ParamountClassics

Director:

Peter Avanzino

Producers:

Claudia Katz, Geraldine Symon

Producers:

David X. Cohen, Matt Groening, Richard Sakai

http://www.climatecrisis.net

A Terrifying Message from Al Gore (01:23)
–> From the creators of Futurama comes a terrifying message from Al Gore. An Inconvenient Truth is now playing in theaters.