Category Archives: Culture

Linkie o’ the Day: Shaw ’nuff sucks

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Actually, unlike the party responsible for this website,Shaw Wank I ain't nevah had a problem with my Shaw connection, except that one time I had been…celebrating…and didn't notice I'd kicked the modem behind my printer, slightly loosening the connections in the process. Nonetheless, this person does seem somewhat less than thrilled with the level of service he's received. Let's go to the web copy:

Shaw Wankspace

Hey. Got Milk? Better yet, Got Shaw?If you're reading this page then you probably know that when Shaw goes down, it goes down like a two bit whore.

Pointed. Yes, one would have to say pointed. This guy should never, ever try VCN. Not only does it go down at least twice a week, but it stays down for hours and when it comes back up all you get are sanctimonious whines from the staff about how they're all volunteer. Now, I'm a volunteer. I'm all for volunteerism. But let's set some kind of floor of competence, shall we? For lo, cluelessness is not endearing, particularly when my article misses the deadline because you're such a giggling incomp.

Gee, people used to get all het up over religion. Now we have ISPs instead. Nietzche was right.

Kagame vs Hollywood

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From Reuters. As in China, it appears that in Rwanda truth is more vulnerable to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle than it is elsewhere.

Rwandan president scoffs at "Hotel Rwanda"

By Arthur Asiimwe Wed May 31, 9:42 PM ET   WASHINGTON (Reuters) –

Rwandan president Paul Kagame on Wednesday dismissed the Oscar-nominated drama "Hotel Rwanda" as an attempt to rewrite the history of the central African country's 1994 genocide. The 2004 film refueled world interest in the massacres, in which some 800,000 minority Tutsis and moderate Hutus were butchered in 100 days of killings.

"Hotel Rwanda" stars Don Cheadle as Paul Rusesabagina, the manager of a luxury hotel in the Rwandan capital Kigali who uses his position to help save more than 1,200 Tutsi refugees.

Kagame said the movie's portrayal of Rusesabagina as a hero during the genocide was false. "It has nothing to do with Rusesabagina," Kagame told reporters during a visit to Washington. "He just happened to be there accidentally, and he happened to be surviving because he was not in the category of those being hunted."

Kagame said people in the hotel were saved in part because U.N. forces occupied the hotel and because the killers wanted to keep it as a place where they could drink beer after a long day of killing and discuss whom to kill the following day.

Kagame, a Tutsi, said another reason lives were spared is that talks had been underway between his rebel group and the then-interim government to exchange Tutsis in the hotel for Hutu soldiers captured by his group.

"Someone is trying to rewrite the history of Rwanda and we cannot accept it," he said. Some survivors of the genocide also have been critical of movies about the slaughter, saying Hollywood got their story wrong. Amid international inaction, the genocide was finally ended by Kagame, who led a rebel army from Uganda to seize power.

Rusesabagina, awarded the U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom last year, has recently been critical of the Kigali government, accusing it of continued human rights violations and oppression of political opponents.

Valley of Gwombi

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A video tribute to one of my favorite movies of all time, the immortal cinematic masterwork The Valley of Gwanji, the James Franciscus cowboy dinosaur flick.

After a confusing opening scene in which some gypsies argue about a vague legend, we meet our hero: Tuck Kirby, as played by James "They Couldn't Get Heston" Franciscus. GwanjiposterKirby is a rootin'-tootin' turn-of-the-century cowboy with peroxide hair and unbelievably large and perfect teeth. Kirby has come to a small Mexican town to purchase a circus act for Buffalo Bill's show…

The centerpiece of it all, of course, is the allosaurus named (what else?) Gwangi who becomes the focus of our heroes' attentions. After taking down another dinosaur, Gwangi is quickly targeted to become the headlining act in T.J.'s circus. Anyone else who thinks this is a bad idea, raise your hand.

Ah, what does this dope know? It was a stroke of genius, as you can see from the following trailer. Gwanji is just so frickin' cool that he's automatically elevated to "Squid" tag.

viva la Chi’en revolucion

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Chi'en RevolutionFired CBS anchorman Arthur Chi'en has won his wrongful dismissal case against his ex-employers.

The revolutionary icon was kicked to the curb, as you may recall, for losing it under pressure, live on-air, and inquiring of a pestering gadfly:

What the fuck is your problem?

The Chi'en Cause was, naturally, taken up by bloggers and student journalists everywhere, particularly after it became known that the pestering gadfly in question was actually employed by another media organization specifuckally to perform such interventions.

From the Revolutionary Headquarters:

Arthur Chi'en, The Right Man At The Right Time!

Today's battle is only the beginning of a long and illustrious life of leadership in the war against placard-bearing satellite-radio drones and shell-shocked corporate news officers! Show your support of his righteous reaction in your office cubicle and/or local shopping center! He will report again!

And today's report, from the mainstream media:

F-word shouldn't have spelled 'fired' Chi'en WTF is your problem?
 
An arbitrator has ruled TV reporter Arthur Chi'en was wrongly fired by WCBS Channel 2 for blurting out the F-word on live television last year.
The station should have handed Chi'en a lesser penalty for lashing out at hecklers in a live shot when he thought the cameras weren't rolling last May.

Mango Porn Whoring

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TIAWell this should be good for hits.

A recent exchange on the blog of UK human anomaly Vicus Scurra.

Raincoaster, old wombat, is that what you meant by ‘tidying up links’?

Yes, that is what I meant. Since they were messed up, how was I to know they weren't links? I don't read HTML or Firefox. Gates won't let me!

Since you've cleaned it up, whatever it was (and it never pays to look too closely at other people's messes) I shall give you a link, just as soon as you post something about mango porn. Some of us are still hit whores, you know, and you can't expect me to make an exception to my standards just for you.
raincoaster

Raincoaster, thank you so much. Your placing the words 'mango porn' here mean that I will get more traffic in the next 3 weeks than "Ahmed's Erotic Mango Emporium" in Finchley does in a year.
Vicus Scurra

Let it not be said that I am not there for my friends; mi pervs es su pervs.