Ruralopolis, Here I Come!

Ruralopolis

Ruralopolis

Well, I think that’s it. I’ve got The Place.

This is the view from The Place, roughly.

The Place is 14 acres of vineyards and horse paddocks on a major scenic trail, a ten minute drive from downtown. It is a one bedroom cabin with a full basement and about 25% more space than I have in Vancouver, for exactly the same cost. Every horse owner I can entice to board his/her horse on the property lowers my rent by the amount the board brings in. If I feed and muck out, that amount is doubled.

Since I got fat, I’ve been looking for low-impact ways to get some physical work in, given that my career involves sitting on my ass typing, and since I was a groom in a hunt stable right out of school and have been pining to get back into the horse world for years, this seems ideal.

So the plan is to move my stuff into storage on Feb 25, either here or (more likely) up in Ruralopolis where it’s cheaper, and then when I get to move in, on April 1 (no joke) bung the lot in and sort it out later, acquiring or building more bookshelves as may be.

Maybe I should tell The Sister I’m moving out of Vancouver, after 32 years ( HOLY FUCK I AM OLD) but I don’t want to shock her.

The Weekend Effect

Reverse Dandelion

Reverse Dandelion

I’m feeling somewhat blown myself, recently. Between work burnout and working out burnout, it’s been a very, very tough week. Hopefully the weekend will have this effect on me. I could use some help getting myself back together lately.

Because Monday, I have to come back 100%, and thanks to the timelines of other people, I have to do it by 4am.

GPOY: Solution Mapping Edition

GPOY solution map

GPOY solution map

Among my friends there is a certain consensus of opinion, and they are unified in their belief that this is one of the smartest things I’ve ever said about myself: That, if I weren’t so confident in my ability to cope with crises, I’d put more effort into preventing them. Here we can see that principle expressed in the 21st Century’s highest art form, the Infographic.

Apropos of nothing, I will here list the words that I learned from the internet yesterday. You may find them amusing. Given my problem-solving style, I have no doubt I will find them critically useful at some point in the future.

As the great prophet Phyllis Diller once said, “I don’t merely believe in miracles. I rely on them.

  • auto-mythocredititis, otherwise known as believing all your own spin [from the Guardian]
  • opuloconfundosapiensis – the tendency to confuse having lots of money with being very clever [same source, and I can hardly wait to incorporate this into an attack on the 1% on a dilapidated cardboard sign for Occupy Vancouver]
  • mon-orchid, meaning having only one testicle. Not exactly sure how I will bring this into a political discussion, but then there is no low to which I will not stoop in the fury of a firefight, so who knows? I may even lay it on Christie Clark. [from a fascinating Fortean Times article on the blue dogs of Texas]

and yes, I do read an eclectic collection of sites recently. I got bored with the usual Gawker/Awl/Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr round and decided to branch out, starting with solid, hard news sites and ending with amusing ones. No idea why I’m so fascinated with portraiture lately, though.

Unintended Side-Effects

Liberty leading the people

I’ll keep this short, because I only have feeling in my left hand which is NOT my best typing hand, and the typos I’ve come up with today are really quite amazing.

The short form is: they stuck a five inch needle in my boob today and sucked part of it out. Sure, they used freezing, but they needed to use so much that my right arm is kinda sorta “theoretical” at this point. I mean, I can SEE it, but I can’t get much use out of it. When they’ve put enough freezing in your boob that you can taste it in your mouth, you know you’re good and froze. And then they decided to do this to my belle poitrine:

Flower Press

But why the bruise eventually showed up on my hand, I have NO idea.

In any case, I whined to the appropriate circle of friends and the Booze Fairy came over with a delivery, and then we went to Mickey D’s (sadly too late for the Free Coffee in the Mornings Until the 14th Offer) and had not one but TWO, count ’em, TWO burger courses, and then came back and blogged and then went home and passed right the fuck out.

Or so I hope.

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sickie

Hannah Kearney wins big

Sorry for the cliche post, but I’m sick and stoned on cold meds (my face itches; do they put meth in this? can’t be: I have, as always, no urge to clean up) and not capable of doing much more than lolz or things in which I have a vested and critical financial interest, so check lolebrity.net and ayyyy.com and True/Slant and pray for me and bring me nourishing things to eat and chocolate, that’s especially nourishing, and Bono, if you’re really in Vangroover, you could stop by and play me a song or something, or just sing into my iPhone once I figure out the settings on the voice recorder.