Category Archives: Entertainment

Oops, I blogged it again

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Okay, so for those of you who are too stupid to realize you’re deploying history’s most effective information-dissemination weapon when you blog, we present the following, moronic, cautionary tale:

brain lightning

It is with a heavy heart that today I must announce the temporary suspension of Cocaine Corner. After the events of this week–which for various reasons I cannot detail in this forum–it has become clear to me that this endeavor simply cannot be continued for the time being. In retrospect, it now seems completely idiotic to have documented, in writing, the types of things I’ve documented on this site, and for that, I’ll always be sorry.

 

search me

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Which I only use as a title because it is such a cheap and easy pun. When I actually used that expression in speech (mostly back before puberty) I always thought it was “Certs me” and, indeed, it makes no less sense that way than most things we learned from the grownups.

In any case, for sociological research purposes, here is a list of things people have searched for to get to my blog over the past couple of days. Read ’em and … make puzzled expressions as you try to find meaning in a meaningless univer…oh, never mind. I’ve been reading too much French literature lately. You wil note: no squid. And I wonder if the evidently excited person looking for “COWBOY MEAT” was, in fact, hoping for screencaps of Brokeback Mountain.

———————————————————
Kira hirsuta
COWBOY MEAT
roll up the rim founder at quebec
Gay Famous People
School spankin
phoebe cates
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“roll-up-the-rim” jerome
raincoaster
Steven page cowichan sweater
Luna orca
tim hortons roll up the wil to win
correct douching
NARNIA porno

Linkie of the Day: Ministry of Silly Walks, Do-It-Yourself Walk Generator

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Me, personally, I find enough Scotch to be the best way of coming up with silly walks. The only problems are remembering them later and living down the video your friends took at the time. But for those who find themselves unable to generate silly walks without the use of technology, or perhaps those who feel unauthorized to do so, we present http://www.sillywalksgenerator.com/ Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ Official Silly Walk Generator, Ministerially approved. Enjoy. That Cleese fellow is unexpectedly bendy!

Giant Squid Couture

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Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely and talented Bai Ling, modelling cephalopod couture from the House of Archie:

Bai Ling Squid Dress

The Architeuthis BaiLing is one of the larger invertebrates. Its breeding habits are not known (except perhaps to Charlie Sheen and the Wilson Brothers), although the presence of cameras stimulates it to display both primary and secondary sexual characteristics. It is nocturnal, and appears to feed only infrequently.

Yes, I stole it from Go Fug Yourself, but the writeup wasn’t much better than mine, so instead I’ll link you to the funniest thing they’ve ever written. Thank me later, after you’ve wiped the tears from your eyes and cleaned off that mess on your chair.

Operation Global Media Domination: Stat Counter Breakdown

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Screaming Babyhead Scientist

 

TIAAccording to the stat counter, I had 90 hits from Section A and 100 hits from section B last year. It’s too bad I have no idea what Section A and Section B are, although I do know what Section 3 is, and it’s also too bad that this blog wasn’t actually in existence last year, but I’m counting the hits anyway. For 2004, hits are A 60/B 80; for 2003, it’s 15/25. So I’m just gonna add them and say that today I got 370.

Makes total sense, right?

I think the Claymates must be behind it. Thanks, you crazy bitches!