whales 1: Japan 0

Killer whale attacking a grey 

For those of you who are not familiar with the whole idea of whales, here it is:

They are very, very big.

And they are very, very strong, and they are absolutely impervious to the idea that human lives are sacrosanct.

So, should you care to, say, go scuba diving with whales and crawl on top of a mother and her calf, and she sees fit to connipt slightly, sending you and your buddy on an excruciating, nine-hour journey to the nearest hospital, where you mist up as you give media interviews about how beautiful and Oprah-like the experience was, and how eager you are to repeat it, don’t be surprised if, somewhere out in the depths, the traditional clicks and whistles of whalesong are enlivened with an occasional evil chuckle.

In related news, in possible payback for the ongoing Japanese whale hunt (for “research” purposes, remember, said research resulting in such scientifically advanced products as fast food whale burgers) a lost and apparently confused sperm whale which was being pestered by several boatloads of Japanese fishermen deliberately flipped over one of the boats, resulting in the death of a 58-year-old man. At the time, the man had been engaged in an attempt to direct the whale from the bay in which it had strayed to the open ocean. Japanprobe has two videos and the Reuters report.

Don’t mess with Moby Dick.

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It’s SuperOctopus!

Stolen from Pharyngula.

Tremoctopus is obviously ready to step up and take the place of the now sadly-fallen Captain America. Now for a name…Doc Oc is taken. The Masked Mollusc? Too bad it’s not a Squid: Captain Calamari has a nice ring to it.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Have the veal… 

This type of Tremoctopus, or blanket octopus, has a unique way of escaping from predators. When threatened, the octopus unfurls a giant sheet of webbing that trails behind like a cape. The webbing breaks apart rather easily when attacked — much like a lizard’s tail — and it gets wrapped around the predator’s face, giving the octopus a chance to flee.

You should see the migrating blanket Tree Octopodia in the Springtime. In years gone by the sky would be darkened with the herds moving North for the summer, gliding silently over the Cascadian rainforest as the grizzlies and pumas cowered below. A more majestic sight the world has never witnessed but, like the carrier pigeon, a precious jewel only too easily lost.

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pic o’ the day: Pareledone turqueti

Pareldedone Turqueti

Betcha didn’t know there was an Antarctic Octopus, eh? But seriously, how could there not be, given the presence of the Underground Lake of Gigantic Albino Penguins and A Few Feral Shoggoths? You so should have seen this coming.

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the zoology of Japanese movie monsters

Rodan, dissected 

Here’s another great pass-along from DefrostIndoors, who surely should be making better use of her time than feeding increasingly bizarre and amusing fodder to the ol’ raincoaster blog. I mean, you’d think, right?

But she’s not and for that we give thanks.

So here, without another moment’s delay, is an interesting page dedicated to a study of the biology of Kaiju, Japanese movie monsters. Truly, unlocking Godzilla‘s energy-generation secrets could fill the Earth’s power needs in an ecosensitive and holistic way, wiping from the face of the planet the abomination that is open pit mining, eliminating the latent threat of nuclear waste, and preventing the emission of greenhouse gasses.

Yes, Godzilla Power is in accordance with the Kyoto Protocols.

Kaiju-biology (“kaiju” is japanese for “monster”) is simply the study of large monsters that seem to attack Japan with startling regularity. Although the first giant monster to attack Japan did so in 1954 (Godzilla), it was disintegrated by Dr. Serizawa’s Oxygen Destroyer weapon leaving no tissue samples to study. Since that time, however, the field of Kaiju-Biology has grown from being a bunch of nutty old professors making up crazy theories just to publish papers and justify their funding into a fully-fledged interdisciplinary science bringing together top researchers in biology, nuclear science, theoretical physics, and robotics. Advances in Kaiju-Biology not only have the immediate applicability of defending against Godzilla raids but also help lay the technological basis for many great Japanese gizmos! (now you know why Japan leads the world in electronics!)

It would be impossible to list all the great advances made in Kaiju-Biology over the last 10 years on this WWW page, but hopefully this will give you a flavor of this unique field of research. Employment opportunities in Kaiju-Biology are expected to continue their current increase into the near future so study hard and someday you may be Godzilla’s greatest enemy!

I dunno about you, but I’m on a job search. This is one field that has my name on it; what’s Japanese for “Frankenstein“?

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Unintelligent Design

A deity’s work is never done…

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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