religion makes you fat; okay, only SOME do

This is bound to be popular with chubby fundamentalists. You know where the Comments button is, people!

Weighty matter: Is religion making us fat?

August 25, 2006

BY CATHLEEN FALSANI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
 

Back in the decadent early 1980s, New Wave rocker Adam Ant mocked clean living in his maddeningly catchy song, “Goody Two Shoes.”

“Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do ya do?” Ant taunted.

A new Purdue University study may hold the answer to Ant’s question.

If they don’t drink and don’t smoke, what do they do?

Eat, apparently.

“America is becoming known as a nation of gluttony and obesity, and churches are a feeding ground for this problem,” says Ken Ferraro, a Purdue sociology professor who studied more than 2,500 adults over a span of eight years looking at the correlation between their religious behavior and their body mass index.

“If religious leaders and organizations neglect this issue, they will contribute to an epidemic that will cost the health-care system millions of dollars and reduce the quality of life for many parishioners,” he says.

Casserole as sacrament

Ferraro’s most recent study, published in the June issue of the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, is a follow-up to a study he published in 1998, where he found there were more obese people in states with larger populations of folks claiming a religious affiliation than elsewhere — particularly in states with the most Baptists.

So it’s not surprising that Ferraro’s latest study found that about 27 percent of Baptists, including Southern Baptists, North American Baptists, and Fundamentalist Baptist, were obese.

Surely there are several contributing factors to such a phenomenon, but when Ferraro accounted for geography (southern cooking is generally more high-caloric), race and even whether overweight folks were attracted to churches for moral support, the statistics still seem to indicate that some churches dispense love handles as well as the love of the Lord.

Having attended a Southern Baptist church for most of my formative years, I was hardly shocked by Ferraro’s discoveries. From the coffee (and doughnuts) hour after Sunday-morning worship, to the huge potluck dinners and the Sunday-night ice-cream socials, there was always food around, and it was rarely the lo-cal variety. Ambrosia salad. Seventeen different kinds of chicken/broccoli/cheese casserole. Banana-and-Nilla-wafer-pudding. Fried chicken. Barbecue chicken. Sweet tea.

Those were the elements of our social sacraments at the Baptist church.

In religious traditions where drinking alcohol, smoking anything and even dancing are vices regularly preached against from the pulpit, overeating has become the “accepted vice,” Ferraro says.

Or, as Homer Simpson so eloquently put it on his way to a First Church of Springfield picnic: “If God didn’t want us to eat in church, he’d have made gluttony a sin.”

‘Overgrazing of the flock’

Food often is substituted for alcohol at Baptist and other conservative Protestant gatherings, Ferraro says. I once attended a wedding at a conservative Bible church where, instead of an open bar or champagne fountain, the bride and groom toasted their new beginning with a massive ice-cream sundae buffet.

I kid you not.

“Baptists may find food one of the few available sources of earthly pleasures,” Ferraro says.

Exhibit A: The Rev. Jerry Falwell, Baptist king of the Christian right. Falwell has been accused (rightly) of being many things.

Chubby, for instance.

He may not drink or smoke, or think lusty liberal thoughts, but it looks like the good reverend has never met a plate of cheese grits he didn’t love. And it may have cost him. Falwell, 73, was hospitalized last year for acute congestive heart failure. His hefty weight, doctors said at the time, wasn’t helping matters.

“Baptist and fundamentalist Protestant leaders may want to consider interventions for the ‘overgrazing of the flock,’ ” Ferraro says.

No Protestant dietary rules

While some megachurches have fitness facilities and long have offered exercise classes as well as Bible studies, in most congregations you’re still more likely to find a bake sale than a spinning class on any given Sunday.

Ferraro’s study also found that about 20 percent of “Fundamentalist Protestants,” (Church of Christ, Pentecostal, Assemblies of God and Church of God); about 18 percent of “Pietistic Protestants,” (Methodist, Christian Church and African Methodist Episcopal), and about 17 percent of Catholics were obese.

By contrast, about 1 percent of the Jewish population and less than 1 percent of other non-Christians, including Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and others), were tipping the scales with commensurate gusto.

“In my mind, one of the distinctive things about Christianity, particularly American Protestant Christianity, is we don’t have any [dietary] behavior codes,” said Daniel Sack of Chicago, a historian and author of the 2000 book, Whitebread Protestants: Food and Religion in American Culture.

“Islam does, Judaism does, Catholicism does, but basically there’s nothing scriptural and in most [Protestant] traditions as long as you don’t drink, you’re fine. Particularly in that Baptist cohort, that’s the only real rule.”

This is true. Even on the Sundays when we celebrated the “Lord’s Supper,” i.e., communion, we had thimble-sized cups of Welch’s grape juice to go with our chunks of home-baked white bread. No Jesus juice allowed.

Often gathering around food

“Food plays an important social role in the life of a religious community, particularly in the Protestant tradition,” said Sack, an ordained United Church of Christ minister. “In Judaism and Catholicism, [religious celebrations] are largely family-oriented and so they’re home based. Typically Protestant food practices tend to be much more congregational.”

And that might have a lot to do with how most Protestant congregations are formed. Increasingly they’re not geographic. People will drive for miles to attend the church they like. Theologically speaking, this kind of community is called a “gathering congregation.”

“A gathering congregation has to gather around something, and it’s often around food,” Sack says.

Perhaps, as Ferraro suggests, more churches might want to consider turning the fellowship hall into a gym, putting down the Krispy Kremes, and gathering instead around a plate of crudite before taking a brisk walk with the pastor after church.

Because, ya know, blessed are the weight watchers.

mary is no longer proud: the Brady Bunch video

Ladies and gentlemen, this is why lipsynching in concert was invented. Oh Ike, where are you when we need you to slap these biotches down?

TWAT: the war against tees, Bush loses a round

So I guess that means the terrorists win. Meet the tiny tee terrorist.

Zachary Guiles, the tiny tee terrorist

and his weapon of mass destruction

Chickenhawk In Chief T-shirt! Christmas is only four months away!

Thirteen year old Zachary Guiles wore this t-shirt to school one day, thinking no doubt that he was giving The Man the finger.

But The Man don’t like to be fingered.

Next thing you know, Zach‘s cool, antiestablishment shirt is festooned with duct tape censoring out parts of the obvious message. I’m not making a great leap when I say that the coke lines were probably on the no-fly list, and perhaps the words “World Domination Tour” and maybe even “Chickenhawk In Chief“.

An appeals court in New York found that Zachary’s constitutional rights were violated when officials at his Vermont school made him stick duct tape over parts of the T-shirt. The shirt also said the president was undertaking a “world domination tour” and showed a picture of his head superimposed on a chicken’s body, along with cocaine, a razor blade and a martini glass. Zachary was suspended for a day, but continued to wear the T-shirt to school, complete with duct tape.

and rightly so; covering up the occurrance is nothing more than capitulation to censorship, so I am very glad that our young freedom fighter Zach bore the scars of his battle proudly.

But he did not bear them lightly, nor did he bear them alone.

Lawyers for Williamstown middle high school argued the images contravened the school’s ban on clothes promoting drink and drugs, but the court rejected the idea on the grounds that the T-shirt expressed “an anti-drug view”. Mr Bush has spoken of his battles with alcohol earlier in his life.

The T-shirt “uses harsh rhetoric and imagery to express disagreement with the president’s policies and to impugn his character”, the court ruled, but the images “are not plainly offensive as a matter of law”.

“The standard that the court set was that a kid has free-speech rights as long as the expression of those rights doesn’t upset the normal workings of a school,” said Allen Gilbert, of the American Civil Liberties Union, which brought the case.

Zachary said: “I think this is a very good sign that even with the current administration … there can still be a justice that allows free speech.”

He sounds almost as surprised as me!

the rainforest is out of water

 Temperate Rainforest at its best

It’s true. The temperate rainforest of BC is out of water, or at least Not-Ucluelet is.

What’s Not-Ucluelet, you ask? Well, it’s a wee hippie town that we’ve blogged before on here the ol’ raincoaster blog, and it’s a town that I love dearly.

But verily, it is a town overrun with tourists and incompetent or ineffectual management.

Looks damp enough, don't it?For lo, although they recieve on average three metres (over nine feet) of rainfall, and they are slung around a harbour right smack-dab, yes RIGHT smack-dab on the Pacific Ocean, they are plumb out of H20.

How’d that happen? Glad you asked.

Hotels, resorts and other commercial businesses in this Vancouver Island tourist town are being told to shut down because of an extreme water shortage, a situation the mayor is describing as one of panic.

Mayor John Fraser said water is so scarce there are concerns about whether there would be enough if there were a fire in the town.

“That’s why the panic’s on,” he said Tuesday afternoon.

The District of Not-Ucluelet issued an order to move to Level 5 regulations. The highest Level 6 means a complete shutoff of the taps.

“This is serious,” said Leif Pedersen, administrator for the District of Not-Ucluelet.

“We’re communicating with resorts, asking them to contact guests and advise them they possibly don’t want to come out there right now.

“It’s going to close all commercial activity in Not-Ucluelet...”

Been there, done the marathon. No t-shirt, though

But Pedersen said high demand and low supply, the result of low rainfall since July, has meant the district’s main reservoir on M—– Island has been drawn down.

When asked how much water was left, Pedersen replied: “We don’t know…”

Three days notice and we have to what, call every reservation and try and say good luck finding somewhere else, you can’t come?

Not-Ucluelet is a remote tourist town just outside the breathtakingly beautiful Pacific Rim National Park. It is home to some world-renowned resorts, including the beach-front Wickaninnish Inn.

It borders on a UNESCO Biosphere and Clayoquot Sound [where, by the way, timber companies have just announced plans to resume logging] and draws visitors for a variety of natural attractions from whale watching to surfing.

Municipal staff spent Tuesday morning calling local businesses, asking them to cut back on water or shut down.

The public notice issued Tuesday was blunt, using Yep, no water herecapital letters to hammer home the severity of the problem.

“The WATER SHORTAGE has become extremely severe,” it reads.

“All lodging, food service businesses are asked to shut down PRIOR TO FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2006 until further notice. Other commercial water users must not consume any water whatsoever.”

Whaylon Arthur, a Not-Ucluelet resident, said municipal staff should have had more foresight and warned people this could be coming.

“It’s a bit drastic and it’s a bit panicky,” he said.

But Pedersen said the district did its best.

Last week, the municipality implemented Level 4 water regulations, meaning residents were prohibited from washing boats and vehicles or watering lawns and gardens.

Oh. Well then. That totally should have done it. After a week of not washing boats and letting the marigolds fend for themselves, that should easily have made up for the estimated million or so tourists who’ve already been through town so far this year.

You know about tourists, right? What do they do? They shower, they bathe, they use the hot tub, they get their cars washed. Decadence, sheer decadence, but you add a million showers time average four-day stay up and you lose one hell of a lot of water.

It’s not like the town didn’t see this coming, which is where we get into the “bad management” part of things.

The single most bitterly Beckettian aspect to this is that the mayor, John Fraser, is the same mayor who has been trying to force through a proposal to approve character-based theme parks and, get this, water slides.

When’s the next election?

Can we be frank?

AbFab’s Patsy and Eddie: a brief introduction

which is a title that just works on so many levels. I remember the first time I saw Patsy; I’d just switched the television on and there was a tall, superannuated model crawling across some woman’s bed saying, “darling, do you have any knickers? I’ve left mine somewhere.”

I think it was a traffic island she’d left them at, but I can’t remember any better than she can.

Anyway, for those of you who are straight men or hermits, who took the test and still don’t know how to interpret the results, here is a brief introduction to Absolutely Fabulous. Patsy’s the slutty ex-transexual Bond Girl, Eddie is the short, Buddhist limousine liberal PR. You may have heard about the show as the last thing Roseanne Barr ruined with her poison touch, just before losing her career and finding Kabbalah.