So have you heard the one about George Clooney? Not the Mr. X-ism, I mean, aren't we all perfectly aware that if he didn't Lothariorize Teri Hatcher he should have and if he did she's at least had that much more of George Clooney than the rest of us and bitch should just STFU.So not that one. This one:

George Clooney's Evil Plan Succeeds

On Friday, via an email sent from his publicist Stan Rosenfield, Oscar-winning ER doctor George Clooney commanded the masses to sabotage Gawker Stalker by sending us fake submissions. And oh, how they’ve responded to Clooney’s battle cry — our inbox was indeed flooded with hundreds of sightings, almost all of which were of George Clooney. We’re sure that’s exactly what he meant.

Just saw George Clooney at the Peninsula. He had a mustard stain on his jacket, was kissing a Mexican woman and eating a watermelon.

George Clooney has been sighted in Portland, Oregon! He was walking downtown by the Schnitzer Concert Hall and was wearing jeans with a hole in the knee (guess business isn’t too good!) and a long-sleeved grey/blue shirt.

i saw George in Philadelphia at Le Bec Fin’, a high end restaraunt in the heart of the city. He was very brief in his entrance and I believe he snuck out the back b/c i NEVER SAW HIM LEAVE THROUGH THE FRONT!

I saw george clooney outside the gawker.com offices just a minute ago.

Actually, that last one might be true. [Follow the link and get] a taste of of the weekend email Clooneython, which has utterly destroyed our ability to grasp reality.

But, like, which would you rather have: reality, or George Clooney? Exactly. Meantime, here is one I sent in:

Saw George at about one this afternoon, turning tricks on Vancouver's Downtown EastSide, working the corner of Princess and Hastings. A couple of hours later he tried to get a burger at the Ovaltine Cafe, but he was drunk and sloppy and they threw him out. Later, I saw him helping a little old Vietnamese lady across the street. He stopped a Hummer with his bare hands.