Category Archives: Fans

What’s Bruin?

Posted on by
Canucks Fans

Canucks Fans

Now that we’re in the playoff finals (of what, you ask? are you FUCKING KIDDING ME I reply) it seems that the bandwagon-jumping Canucks-fans-come-lately are the most vehement in their love proclamations, sometimes to a positively obnoxious degree. Well, you know how it is with young love, fresh-plucked from the vine. At least they’re not feeding each other in public, though they ARE indulging in PDAs which might be counter to the concept of human dignity.

Canucks Fan gives double fingers

Canucks Fan gives double fingers

Some of them, in fact, are real pigs.

Some canucks fans are real pigs

Some canucks fans are real pigs

But that’s nothing compared to some Bruins fans. Check out this extremely authentic video of a Boston Bruins fan attempting to justify his crazed (and obviously futile) love for his group of losers.

It’s sad, really.

Announcing: the new Canadian flag!

Posted on by
All hail Canucksistan!

All hail the socialist republic of Canucksistan!

All hail the newly-born socialist republic of Canucksistan! My predictive abilities have been pretty good recently, so I say the nation should last something like, oh, seven games plus overtime.

What do you mean you don’t worship the Canucks? Don’t you know they can fly, bitches? THEY CAN FLY!

Canucks can totally fly, a result of pixie dust produced in Canada's gay-friendly bars

Canucks can totally fly, a result of pixie dust produced in Canada's gay-friendly bars

Also, you really, really don’t want to piss off their supporters. No, you really don’t.

Then again, maybe you do.

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

Contrary to the title, the boobs are not actually flashbulbs

In any case, there are in Canuckistan currently no bigger celebrities than the Canucks (except maybe Ann Murray, of course) but as a token of appreciation for our foreign readers we hereby present the celebrity gossip roundup, one day late because apparently I’m so hot I can’t write uninterrupted in a public place anymore. At least yesterday the men bought be drinks: the one today just tried to break a window. On the other hand, that could be the difference between the DTES and Yaletown…

Continue reading →

Keep Calm and Recite the Lords of Hockey Prayer

Posted on by
Keep calm and Canuck on

Keep calm and Canuck on

I was walking down the street, minding my own business (for once) when, right at the corner of Richards and Hastings, I saw this. I had to have it. And since I don’t have a camera capable of photographing it well enough to capture all the text, I ripped it off the hydro pole on which it had been pasted, and took it with me to type it all out. So here it all is, laboriously typed out by hand, so I hope you appreciate it.

Thus saith Michael the Captain of the Lords Host,

The year I was born, they joined the Big League, and waited patiently for Me,

They didn’t play for last, no more two line pass, bring on the Holy Spirit Gas

To bring it into submission, you must surrender to a God, and agree on the vision

Good Grief, I love My Beloved Leafs, but Vancouver I desire to give the cup to thee

REVELATION 19 THROUGHT 22; EZEKIEL 9: DANIEL 12

I am Stanley’s Lord, drink from My cup, after the parade we will sit and sup

I AM the Man clothed in linen, with Trevor Linden, saying the Devils ain’t winning

Game 7, a loud trumpet sound, a musical ride gathered around

Oh Canada, don’t you see, New Jerusalem a virgin bride dressed for Me

Hebrews 13: Thessalonians 4:16-17

Skates of Fire, Stars on Ice, entertaining angels is it not nice

In 89, Al MacInnes stood on the line, Patrick Roy ducted every time

Lanny McDonald, I Am the Golden Arch, I began My shout on the 19th of March

Don Cherry, I Am the vine, you Me and Ron the Devils will whine

Matthew 24L Mathew 18:19, Daniel 12:1-4

Davey Crocket and the Richard Rocket, I have a cup, in My pocket,

Bobby Orr he shoots he scores, I AM Michael, I hold the oars

I row row row the boat, I Bless the Humble, and oppose the goat

If you want this gift from Me, get on your knes in My Name Jesus say please

Mark 13; Matthew 24; Luke 21

Uncle Steve and Wayne the future I see, Luongo, will stand on his head for Me

Hey twins call Sundin up, and tell him to come, and sip from My cup

Surroundd by the cops, the crowd weeps, and the tears will drop

The crowd will roar, the Master is home, as Roger packs the Thunder Dome

Revelation 14; 1st Thessalonians 4:16-17; Daniel 12:1-4

Scotties tissues, a tournament of hearst, as I tear her walls all apart

To her shall the Archangel sing, about a Seven Carrot, Diamond Ring

Hey B.C I aAm the Lion, I am Orion, and you are standing on Mount Zion

Before Christ, this is the blan, I long to give you the cup from My hand

Revelation CH 6 through CH 13 understand the silence Aug 26, 2011

The Pacific Rim, the Ring of Fire, all prepared for cowards and liars

A three game sweep, a three game come back, Michael and His Angels lead the attack

The Devil and his angels, all cast down, 7 trumpets and they will gather around

Gates and the Pope I will capture, the rest marked, and headed for disaster

Isaiah 11

Born to be My Baby, she gives love a bad name, The New Jersey Devils concede the game

Little Girl Airheart, I tore her world apart, IAM destined to win right from the start

Across the oceans her claim to fame, she is taking, My New Name in vain

In your hands, I command you to lift her up, Zion’s Daughter must raise My pup

Love OrionMichael Prince “MY NEW NAME” Rev 19:11-16; Rev CH 2 and 3

Email Michael_Prince777 AT yahoo.ca with questions and comments


Starwhackers, the Liveblog

Posted on by
Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Yes, I was at the world premiere of Randy and Evi Quaid‘s billed-as-docudrama-but-actually-comedy, “Starwhackers.” And it was…um…it was…unforgettable? Bizarre? Amateurish? Uninformative? Maddening?

Yeah, that.

So here is the transcribed-from-my-notes liveblog, several days after the fact. Protip: take a Gravol before watching this thing, it appears to have been shot on iPhones held by a caffeine junkie.

I will assume you’re familiar with the background: that the Quaids fled the US claiming they were being persecuted by so-called starwhackers, who kill important stars for the insurance money and also to keep the internet fed with drama (guys, trust me, the internet doesn’t need a new source of drama). The audience was palpably hoping that this film would explain the idea a bit better, but this movie is anything but linear and logical. There were no answers here. There weren’t even any coherent questions.

Click over the jump for the whole fiasco:

Continue reading →

Saturday Night, and the House is Rocking!

Posted on by
The girl singer experiment was not deemed a success, and was not repeated

The Bay City Rollers decided the girl singer experiment was not a success, and was not repeated

Or is that “The Home”?

You may not think you want to click that, but you really, really do, and then you want to look at the audience. When did the Bay City Rollers ever play Victoria, the burb known as “God’s Waiting Room”?

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bach's "Pretty Woman."

This Bay City Rollers fan was the inspiration for "Pretty Woman." Bachs "Pretty Woman."

Also, Ann-Margret, you’re darling, but you cannot sing. Please, please stop trying.

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Bay City Rollers are rocking the rocker look insofar as it applies to the Scots anyway

Also also, isn’t it time the hipsters revived the plaid-trimmed culottes look? Seriously, let’s make this happen.

To other people.

Speaking of celebrities and other people, here are your Monday gossip links from around the web. Click over the jump for all the juicy linkness.

Continue reading →