Quiz: what kind of boots are you?

All of this works, every single bit of it. And, in fact, I’m saving up for some cowboy boots, right after I’ve saved enough for some Fluevog boots. And, given that the Co-op just discovered that I’d overpaid my housing charges last year and charged me only $26 for a full month’s occupancy, I figure I’m getting closer by the day.


You Are Cowboy Boots


You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don’t pretend to be someone else.

You also tend to be very practical. You don’t really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.

You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it’s a bit uncomfortable.

While you’re quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don’t overdo it, but you do like turning heads.

via CasaAz

Barbie, Girl! The Barbie Fashion Show

cross-posted from TeenyManolo, because this is too good not to share

How many Barbie-related posts have there been by that title? Surely they number in the thousands, for Barbara Millicent Rogers is the most famous doll the world has ever seen, and in a world of implants and lipo, Ken Paves extensions and MAC cosmetics, what’s historically understood to be the Barbie look is more attainable than ever before.

For good or ill.

But on the Good side of the equation, we grown women can now purchase actual clothes inspired by Barbie and – wait, wait, come back YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE! – they’re actually quite lovely.

For Barbie’s 50th birthday, Mattel commissioned some of the top designers in the world to make Barbie-inspired outfits: Past Barbie, Present Barbie, or Future Barbie, and these, shown Saturday at New York Fashion Week, were the result. Yes, Barbie finally had a full-on fashion show, complete with swag bag. Despite the sneers of a few hardened cynics, the collection was generally well-received.

All photos by my homeboy Kris Krug of Static Photography.

Past Barbie had some snappy, sexy outfits in the Marilyn Monroe vein:

Barbie

Lyn Devon for Barbie. Past Barbie rocked the Black and White hard!

Mystery Designer Barbie look

I don’t know who designed this one but I WANT it!

A classic Barbie Look

A classic Barbie look, and one I could really use for this Thursday. Hmmmm…

Is this Bruce Oldfield?

Not sure if this is Past or Present Barbie, but it’s very reminiscent of early Bruce Oldfield, before he hooked up with Princess Diana and became all about the bling. I’d wear this every damn day if I could afford the cleaning bill, and that goes DOUBLE for the hat.

Moving into Present Barbie era, the colours are softer and there’s enough pink to satisfy even Carey Hart. Am I just old-fashioned, or are the clothes less wearable? Because I do indeed wear a lot of cocktail dresses, but I prefer the kind that stay closed until you decide to open them and whose hems don’t come infused with antigravity devices.

The Barbiest Barbie of them all

Juicy Couture, but you could probably tell without reading. This girl has to be the Barbiest Barbie in the entire show, and the hair and makeup are perfect. But…is she wearing stencilled socks with open-toed pumps? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I don’t think even a Betsey Johnson Barbie would wear those!

Barbie in modern times

ThreeAsFour, and easily an eight in my book. The Big Hair is just Too Big, of course, but I might dig out the mousse and see what I can do in the way of a modified Barbie Do. What else am I gonna do with it, use it as improvised weather stripping?

It's KEN!

Kenneth Cole did Ken (so to speak). If black tie with jeans is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Future Barbie needs a blue eyeshadow intervention, but the clothes were imaginative, sexy and generally wearable, if you happen to be an ageless plastic doll whose life is a cross between a Monte Carlo cabaret and a Malibu beach party.

The fiercest bitch in the squaredancing club

You can just tell, she’s the fiercest bitch in the square dancing club.

Cher Barbie?

Bob Mackie. Of course! I love this, it’s just so completely Cher Starring As Crazy Horse Stripper Barbie.

And last but not least, the finale, in which each model re-emerged, holding the hand of a little girl wearing a Barbie t-shirt and a coloured tutu, while heart-shaped confetti fell from the ceiling and digital fireworks went off in the background.

Barbie Fashion Show Finale

Chapeau Crabe

I have a crab hat

Long have we dealt with the nay-sayers of millinery, the hecklers of hattitude, and long have we defended our position as pro-aquatic-yet-ecosensitive headgear activists. And now, from the upstart lolsite YourArgumentIsInvalid, comes this travesty of complete logical infarction.

The woman does, in fact, have a hat. The hat is made of crab. Indeed, crab is not simply the major component of the hat, but the hat itself IS a crab, adding metalayers of meaning and intertextuality that went over the heads of the no-doubt-conceptual-art-and-mad-hattery-deprived literalists at YAII.

For them, we can only pray. Hail Cthulhu!

Order Now! This Offer is Unrepeatable!

Hell, this offer is nearly unspeakable! Particularly after the Snuggie Lawyers (TM) get ahold of it!

Plagued by drafts? Chilled to the bone? Frozen out by business contacts, loved ones and fantasy objects alike? Just work it, using the patented technology and hawt couture of the WTF Blanket!

Yet another item that didn’t make the cut at the parenting blog, for obvious reasons. Well, actually it was the poor little doggie thing. No dog would wear that; they all have too much self-respect!

Oh, wait

Pity poor Cindy the Poodle

Catbags

Well, what would you call them? Pussy purses? Persian sacks (they ARE pretty hairy). A loathesomely miss-shapen by-product of the unhealthy tendency among the narcissistic childless towards cloying anthropomorphism and blithe possessiveness?

Or you might call them “cute.”  In which case I don’t even want to KNOW you.


from fourfour