Category Archives: Generation X

From the Department of Bad Advice

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John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

Beneficial for whom? Do you have any IDEA what people like Cusack and me do to mainstreams into which we attempt to integrate? Roughly what a wolverine that’s on fire and radioactive to boot does to a toilet paper roll it’s trying to crawl through, that’s what. See this picture?

Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Pamela Anderson's looking a little rough. Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Do you REALLY want these people in your Bell Curve? No. No, you do not. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

These are:

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Portrait of the Artist as a Middle-Aged Celebrity Blogger

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And what are YOU looking at?

And what are YOU looking at?

Do you ever feel like this? I always feel like this. Realizations such as this are the circumstances which led to the invention of the expression “FML.”

Gossip linkies over the jump, just because I’m tired of seeing them all on the front page, plus I don’t want Our Overlords of Teh Googlewebz to get angry with me.

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Coming soon: Xanadu, Yelp-style

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a pretentious little quadrangle, with overtones of morbid obesity

a pretentious little quadrangle, with overtones of morbid obesity

Still too woozy from my latest hospital visit to do a useful post, but very soon I shall put up a restaurant review-style comparison of the multifarious psychoactive substances the wonderful Canadian healthcare system has been doling out to me gratis. Not sure whether to rate them on overall experience or just quality of hallucinations, but definitely in there somewhere.

Today the Emergency Room doctor told me my Demerol space cosmonaut monkey hallucination was “totally awesome.” I think it made his day. God knows, it made mine.

I can see where you're coming from, man.

I can see where you're coming from, man.

Calvin and Hobbes and a business model I can really get behind

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calvin is SO right

calvin is SO right

I’m telling you, if I can figure out a way to get this to pay, I’m gonna be a BAJILLIONAIRE. In the meantime, here’s a short list of some people who could use some swift ass-kickery.

Dear Santa, is it SO much to ask… (raincoaster)

Santa Andy has to put up with some mean drunks on Christmas (Ayyyy)

Julia Child, acolyte of Cthulhu??? (ManoloFood)

Ryan Gosling is into light bondage (Lolebrity)

The War on Christmas tweets (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston has the scent of desperation (AmyGrindhouse)

Hugh Jackman has cricket balls (BusyBeeBlogger)

Alanis Morissette for Ever (CeleBitchy)

Natalie Portman is packing babeh, off the market (CelebritySmack)

Is EVERYONE pregnant? Please stop her before she breeds (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hottest accessory of 2010: Klingonhead (CityRag)

But would Lady Gaga have broken up the Beatles? (EvilBeet)

KK hits rock bottom and starts digging (FitFabCeleb)

World’s most hated couple makes honest homewreckers of one another(GabbyBabble)

Best Busts of 2010 (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Kelly Osbourne goes Full Flamewar (HaveUHeard)

Justin Bieber’s impurity ring (INeedMyFix)

To get your little gold man, get a little man of your own (Movieline)

Richard Chamberlain comes out, Perez whacks him (PerezHilton)

and all I got were slipper socks. AGAIN (PopBytes)

Lily Allen is engaged (PopSugar)

Santa brought the world some JLoHew/AlyMil action (SeriouslyOMG)

Charlie Sheen not dead (WeNewsIt)

My new favorite stocking stuffer gift, now and forever

My new favorite stocking stuffer gift, now and forever

 

Imagine

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John Lennon

John Lennon

Thirty years ago today, The Sister walked into my room in Carleton Place, Ontario and said, “Wake up. Grandpa and John Lennon are both dead.”

Really, every morning since then has been a snap, relatively speaking.