Category Archives: Gonzo

Welcome to Yellowknife!

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Yellowknife outdoor art actually better than most in Vangroover

Yellowknife outdoor art actually better than most in Vangroover

I’m learning so much about my soon-to-be-adopted home. Here are some wonderfully informative (original typo: “deformative”) videos about being a newcomer to the land of permafrost and muskeg.

“Hi. I’m new here.”

“I’ve decided to stay. Now what?”

NOTED!

Interestingly, the guy in these videos looks not unlike my new boss. Coincidence? Well, if I can hack it in Wiarton, I figure I can hack it in Yellowknife.

Oh, when I was up there I heard a lot of sirens. Being from the DTES I thought nothing of it, but was later informed there are only seven siren-bearing vehicles in the town. They must all have been busy that day.

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videos via Crasstalk

Keep Calm and Recite the Lords of Hockey Prayer

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Keep calm and Canuck on

Keep calm and Canuck on

I was walking down the street, minding my own business (for once) when, right at the corner of Richards and Hastings, I saw this. I had to have it. And since I don’t have a camera capable of photographing it well enough to capture all the text, I ripped it off the hydro pole on which it had been pasted, and took it with me to type it all out. So here it all is, laboriously typed out by hand, so I hope you appreciate it.

Thus saith Michael the Captain of the Lords Host,

The year I was born, they joined the Big League, and waited patiently for Me,

They didn’t play for last, no more two line pass, bring on the Holy Spirit Gas

To bring it into submission, you must surrender to a God, and agree on the vision

Good Grief, I love My Beloved Leafs, but Vancouver I desire to give the cup to thee

REVELATION 19 THROUGHT 22; EZEKIEL 9: DANIEL 12

I am Stanley’s Lord, drink from My cup, after the parade we will sit and sup

I AM the Man clothed in linen, with Trevor Linden, saying the Devils ain’t winning

Game 7, a loud trumpet sound, a musical ride gathered around

Oh Canada, don’t you see, New Jerusalem a virgin bride dressed for Me

Hebrews 13: Thessalonians 4:16-17

Skates of Fire, Stars on Ice, entertaining angels is it not nice

In 89, Al MacInnes stood on the line, Patrick Roy ducted every time

Lanny McDonald, I Am the Golden Arch, I began My shout on the 19th of March

Don Cherry, I Am the vine, you Me and Ron the Devils will whine

Matthew 24L Mathew 18:19, Daniel 12:1-4

Davey Crocket and the Richard Rocket, I have a cup, in My pocket,

Bobby Orr he shoots he scores, I AM Michael, I hold the oars

I row row row the boat, I Bless the Humble, and oppose the goat

If you want this gift from Me, get on your knes in My Name Jesus say please

Mark 13; Matthew 24; Luke 21

Uncle Steve and Wayne the future I see, Luongo, will stand on his head for Me

Hey twins call Sundin up, and tell him to come, and sip from My cup

Surroundd by the cops, the crowd weeps, and the tears will drop

The crowd will roar, the Master is home, as Roger packs the Thunder Dome

Revelation 14; 1st Thessalonians 4:16-17; Daniel 12:1-4

Scotties tissues, a tournament of hearst, as I tear her walls all apart

To her shall the Archangel sing, about a Seven Carrot, Diamond Ring

Hey B.C I aAm the Lion, I am Orion, and you are standing on Mount Zion

Before Christ, this is the blan, I long to give you the cup from My hand

Revelation CH 6 through CH 13 understand the silence Aug 26, 2011

The Pacific Rim, the Ring of Fire, all prepared for cowards and liars

A three game sweep, a three game come back, Michael and His Angels lead the attack

The Devil and his angels, all cast down, 7 trumpets and they will gather around

Gates and the Pope I will capture, the rest marked, and headed for disaster

Isaiah 11

Born to be My Baby, she gives love a bad name, The New Jersey Devils concede the game

Little Girl Airheart, I tore her world apart, IAM destined to win right from the start

Across the oceans her claim to fame, she is taking, My New Name in vain

In your hands, I command you to lift her up, Zion’s Daughter must raise My pup

Love OrionMichael Prince “MY NEW NAME” Rev 19:11-16; Rev CH 2 and 3

Email Michael_Prince777 AT yahoo.ca with questions and comments


Starwhackers, the Liveblog

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Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Randy and Evi Quaid Mugshots

Yes, I was at the world premiere of Randy and Evi Quaid‘s billed-as-docudrama-but-actually-comedy, “Starwhackers.” And it was…um…it was…unforgettable? Bizarre? Amateurish? Uninformative? Maddening?

Yeah, that.

So here is the transcribed-from-my-notes liveblog, several days after the fact. Protip: take a Gravol before watching this thing, it appears to have been shot on iPhones held by a caffeine junkie.

I will assume you’re familiar with the background: that the Quaids fled the US claiming they were being persecuted by so-called starwhackers, who kill important stars for the insurance money and also to keep the internet fed with drama (guys, trust me, the internet doesn’t need a new source of drama). The audience was palpably hoping that this film would explain the idea a bit better, but this movie is anything but linear and logical. There were no answers here. There weren’t even any coherent questions.

Click over the jump for the whole fiasco:

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Does anyone have a decoder ring handy?

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Notes from Buenos Aires from our old blog buddy John Cusack

Notes from Buenos Aires from our old blog buddy John Cusack

John Cusack, you’re a nut. I love you. Never change. But in future, could you provide Cusack to English translations of your notes? Thanks, signed, a grateful planet.

Besides. everyone knows pigs can fly, but they need to be in a proper kennel and stored under the seat in front of you. Duh.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, here are the celebrity gossip links for today.

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The most epic post in the history of epicosity

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FOR ASLAN AND FOR NARNIA and also for cheap comedy

FOR ASLAN AND FOR NARNIA and also for cheap comedy

In case your grey, humdrum world is entirely bereft of joy and sunshine, here are 50 photos of basset hounds running to brighten your meaningless, pathetic existence. We strongly suggest you shout the above line at the top of your lungs when viewing each image. This will provide both an endorphin rush and needed oxygenation. (h/t SeanCranbury)

If that alone cannot shock you out of your black fog of existential despair, we suggest reading the following gossip links and laughing out loud at the thought that all of these ridonkulous losers are paid far more than you ever will be.

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