Category Archives: Hoaxes

lonelygirl15 is the new JT LeRoy/James Frey/Kaavya Viswanathan

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 lonelygirl15from the New York Times via Gawker.JT LeRoy, another imaginary person

<— lonelygirl15 became a bit of a thang on the Internets recently for her cool, articulate, and moving video blogs about teen angst, hope, fear, and honesty.

Too bad she’s fake.James Frey, a million little whoppers

Honestly, “the lighting is better than most vlogs” is all the critics could come up with before this mea culpa. Did not one person notice that her makeup was professionally done as well? Very few 15-year-olds are that good with the cover stick. This is an historic day in Fake Artistedom.

Isn’t it some kind of felony to impersonate a teenager online? KV, can't be bothered to look up the spelling. After all, who needs to know who she is anymore?I thought the FBI had agents on that…

A Message From The Creators

To Our Incredible Fans,

Thank you so much for enjoying our show so far. We are amazed by the overwhelmingly positive response to our videos; it has exceeded our wildest expectations. With your help we believe we are witnessing the birth of a new art form. Our intention from the outset has been to tell a story– A story that could only be told using the medium of video blogs and the distribution power of the internet. A story that is interactive and constantly evolving with the audience.

Right now, the biggest mystery of Lonelygirl15 is “who is she?” We think this is an oversimplification. Lonelygirl15 is a reflection of everyone. She is no more real or fictitious than the portions of our personalities that we choose to show (or hide) when we interact with the people around us. Regardless, there are deeper mysteries buried within the plot, dialogue, and background of the Lonelygirl15 videos, and many of our tireless and dedicated fans have unearthed some of these. There are many more to come.

To enhance the community experience of Lonelygirl15, which you have already helped to create, we are in the process of building a website centered around video and interactivity. This website will allow everyone to enjoy the full potential of this new medium. Unfortunately, we aren’t programmers. We are filmmakers. We are working furiously to complete the website, and hope to have it up and running shortly.

So, sit tight. You are the only reason for our success, and we appreciate your devotion. We want you to know that we aren’t a big corporation. We are just like you. A few people who love good stories. We hope that you will join us in the continuing story of Lonelygirl15, and help us usher in an era of interactive storytelling where the line between “fan” and “star” has been removed, and dedicated fans like yourselves are paid for their efforts. This is an incredible time for the creator inside all of us.

Thank you.

Yes, and it’s an even more incredible time for the bullshit detector inside all of us.

Steve Irwin wants you to watch THAT video

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not this one:

No, he wants you to watch the video of him getting killed by a stingray.

I. Am. Serious.

Even dead, Steve Irwin has more raw character than an entire continent! Let’s take a look at what the man reportedly said:

Irwin once stated, “My number one rule is to keep that camera rolling. Even if it’s shaky or slightly out of focus, I don’t give a rip.

“Even if a big old alligator is chewing me up I want to go down and go, ‘Crikey!’ just before I die. That would be the ultimate for me.”

Now, unnamed sources talking to websites I’m not familiar with aren’t the world’s most reliable news outlets. Still, I’m posting this because it sounds exactly like what he would have said, and I’m entirely sure that if he did say that, the commentors will hunt it down and give me date/time/audio. Also, if he didn’t, that a raincoaster alliance of commentors and moi will hunt down and destroy that website.

UPDATE: Yes, it’s true.

Steve, don't you think you shouldn't do that with an open wound? You smell like chum.

aliens arrested in Roswell

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The Transition of Michael Jackson 

It had to happen sooner or later! From The Register, via Fark.

It appears that the black helicopter brigade were right all along about Area 51, since US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) operatives this week arrested 15 aliens at the facility who were, chillingly, in the process of painting military aircraft when the net closed.

Alien autopsy, let's see if they can find out what happened to his career

That’s according to an official ICE report under the splendid headline “ICE arrests 15 aliens in Roswell working for US military contractor“.

The aliens in question were described as 3alEinCrEw“determined to be illegally residing and working in the United States” and will be sent back to their place of origin.

Stay vigilant. ®

Olbermann: the nexus of politics and terror

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Keith Olbermann’s broadcast from August 14, 2006. Think about that timing, in light of subsequent events.

From the Youtube notes:

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann updated his top 10 list of occasions that the Bush Administration has gained political benefits around the same time that the public’s fear of terrorism was at a peak. Olbermann describes it as “The Nexus of Politics and Terror.”

In this video from last night’s broadcast, Olbermann includes the latest foiled terrorist plot in Britain with the newest edition of the “Nexus of Politics and Terror Top 10 List”. Olbermann concludes that if these occasions are more than just coincidences then, he says, “it underscores the need for questions to be asked in this country, questions about what is prudence and what is fear-mongering.”

the Stupid Security Awards, from Privacy International

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Gotta luv Frank ZappaOooooh, I just know all my friends will be up for this challenge. Privacy International‘s offering a small roundup of awards for stupid security procedures, whether at the high school, the garbage cans, the airport, or just at the border between the US and Manitoba which is patrolled on the US side by armed militiamen, and on the Canadian side by two red cones, which represents, by the way, a doubling of security on Canada‘s part.

Let no man say we don’t take TWAT seriously!

Raise fears, sink hopes, ooops I mean foes

In any case, here’s the scoop on the Stupid Security Awards, and may the stupidest win. Note that it is open to everyone, internationally.

Stupid security has become a global menace. From the airport that this month emptied out a full plane because a passenger was drinking from a lemonade bottle, to the British schools that fingerprint their children to “stop” the theft of library books, to the airline company that refused to allow passengers to bring books or magazines onto the plane, the world has become infested with bumptious administrators competing to hinder or harass us – and often for no good reason whatever.

The sensitive and sensible folk at Privacy International have endured enough of this treatment. So we are running an international competition to discover the world’s most pointless, intrusive, stupid and self-serving security measures.

The “Stupid Security Awards” aim to highlight the absurdities of the security industry. Privacy International’s director, Simon Davies, said his group had taken the initiative because of “innumerable” security initiatives around the world that had absolutely no genuine security benefit. The awards were first staged in 2003 and attracted over 5,000 nominations. This will be the second competition in the series.

“The situation has become ridiculous” said Mr Davies. “Security has become the smokescreen for incompetent and robotic managers the world over”.

Unworkable security practices and illusory security measures do nothing to help issues of real public concern. They only hinder the public, intrude unnecessary into our private lives and often reduce us to the status of cattle.

The airline industry is the most prominent offender, but it is not alone. Consider the UK rail company that banned train-spotters on the grounds of security (e.g. see this article(external). Or the security desk of a US office building that complained because paramedics rushing to attend a heart-attack victim had failed to sign-in. Or the metro company that installed a $20,000 biological weapons/gas detector and placed it openly next to a power plug so terrorists could conveniently unplug the device.

Privacy International is calling for nominations to name and shame the worst offenders. The competition closes on October 31st 2006. The award categories are:

  • Most Egregiously Stupid Award
  • Most Inexplicably Stupid Award
  • Most Annoyingly Stupid Award
  • Most Flagrantly Intrusive Award
  • Most Stupidly Counter Productive Award

The competition will be judged by an international panel of well-known security experts, public policy specialists, privacy advocates and journalists.

The competition is open to anyone from any country. Nominations can be sent to stupidsecurity@privacy.org.

Details of previous award winners can be found below, or at http://www.privacyinternational.org/ssa2003winners.