For a randomly-selected Blogthings quiz propably written by an agoraphobic emo teen as his only hope of fame and immortality, it’s actually pretty accurate.
You Are Scary |
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and in related news:
You Are 52% Sociopath |
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A ten-tentacle salute to Juvenal for the tip. The BBC has obtained video and still photos of a beautiful Taningia danae attacking its prey. Its balletic movements are surprising in such a large creature, and its speed really rather frightening. 2.5meters per second is 150 meters per minute, which is really quite a lot faster than I can swim, which is why I and all sensible people like boats so very much. Also, they like to circle their prey like cats circle their beds before pouncing, presumably just to freak it out a bit or something. And, much like kangaroo and deer hunters of our upper world, they know that a powerful headlight is a hunter’s best friend.
Jack Sparrow got off easy!
Alas, the video is uncapturable so you’ll have to watch it on the site, or watch this pretty Vampire Squid light show instead.
…the intense pulses of light that accompanied the ferocious attacks surprised the research team.
Dr Tsunemi Kubodera from the National Science Museum in Tokyo, who led the research, told the BBC News website: “No-one had ever seen such bioluminescence behaviour during hunting of deep-sea large squid.”
The footage reveals the creatures emitting short flashes from light-producing organs, called photophores, on their arms.
Writing in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the team said: “[The bioluminescence] might act as a blinding flash for prey.”
The light would disorientate [sic!!!! asshole semiliterate BBC writers!!!] the squid’s intended prey, disrupting their defences, they added.
It could also act, the scientists commented, “as a means of illumination and measuring target distance in an otherwise dark environment.”
And, say the scientists, presumably assist the squid to find a mate in the dark depths of the ocean. God knows when you’re on the prowl, the right lighting is crucial: just ask the Gabor Sisters! Or, come to think of it, any common or garden flasher.
Also useful for telling ghost stories to the calamari piccolo.
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Sales of the Beretta CX4 Storm 9-mm, semi-automatic carbine tripled in the month after Kimveer Gill used one in his infamous shooting rampage at Dawson College in Montreal which left himself and business student Anastasia De Sousa dead.
This is certainly a case that brings out the very best in people. And that’s the very best in these people.
Is it so very wrong to wish that all those additional sales result in suicides?
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[::..Is Ur House Plant Plotting Sumthing Against U???..::]
*nods* yes, your plant is certainly plotting something against you, but of course we can never predict what a plant will do next, so throw it away as soon as possible… that is if it doesn’t come back, and if it DOES just burn it… toodles!
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Cash for Cadavers (Oh, how I wish I’d known about them last week, I coulda made a fortune!) is a uniquely morbid, cynical, and celebrity-obssessed betting system.
So it’s got ME written all over it!
This is the way it works, and yes, it is real.
Each team chips in twenty dollars and picks twenty celebrities they believe will die in the upcoming year. Each celebrity is assigned a point value based solely on how many teams picked that specific person. For instance, everyone seems to feel that The Pope‘s number is up, so his point value is very low. People die, points are accumulated, and the lucky schmo with the most points at the end of the year wins the jackpot.
Points are only awarded to bona fide celebrities. For the sake of this game, celebrity status is determined by North American, non-categorically-specific media source. The Associated Press, for instance, runs a national obituary page every day. USA Today, New York Times, CNN, etc. We emphasize that it must be a general news source; if your celebrity’s death appears in Field & Stream but nowhere else, he or she is not a celebrity.
Short, nasty and brutish. I love it! The team names are marvelous: My Death in a Box, Please Sir I Want Some Muerte, Tuesday is Rib Nite At Pete’s Crematorium, Croakin’ 2: Electric Deathaloo, Christopher’s Reeve’s Dancecard, and the delightfully obscure Waiting for Bengt Ekerot. Note that their definition of “Celebrity” is quite strict, and is, in fact, the most detailed part of the website. Well, it’s such a competitive field!
BART THE BEAR CLAWS: (Claws? Clause? Har har.) Animals can be played on Cash4Cadavers assuming that they meet the criteria for “celebrity.” Specific, named animals (like Morris the Cat or Bart the Bear) only; none of that “world’s oldest tortoise” crap. If you want to play the world’s oldest tortoise you’ll tell us its name, Poindexter.
No word on whether stage names are enough to specify a celebustiff, nor any specifics about cases where the soul may have left the body but for whatever cruel and sadistic reason, the Devil hasn’t taken out the trash yet: I would call this the Kissinger Caveat.
Want to see how your picks are doing? Check the Deaths page: I only recognize Art Buschwald, Anna Nicole (the floater is hilarious! See also Paddy Mitchell, eh) and Barbaro. Hey, what’s Arianna Huffington doing in there twice?
I note with interest that it does not actually seem to be against the rules to kill the celebrities yourself.
What? WHAT? I’m just making note of the fine print is all…
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