albino octo

Vent Octopus. Don't giggle; it doesn't mean what you think it means

This weird critter is a vent octopus, ie one that hangs around geothermal vents in the seabed, looking for tasty crustaceans upon which to nosh. It’s true what the prosthesis designer on POTC2 believed: pale tentacles totally outclass mottled purple on the Ick Scale.

Pharyngula has some nifty images and explanation of an albino octo feeding frenzy at the local All You Can Eat in the Marianas Trench. Tube Worms on special!

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six-word stories

Hemingway by StraterThere are an infinite to the power of ten number of games, tricks, memes, generators, and other gizmos to give writers the well-deserved smack on the bottom or the top that they need to be really creative, including Flash Fiction. One of the best Flash Fiction sites is David B. Dale‘s, and fortunately the standard there is high enough to give some feeble hope to us skeptics. Not enough, though, to override my belief that in very few cases do these artificially confining pretences lead to actually great writing. I can think of Ramsay Campbell‘s short story, “Heading Home,” which literally could not have been done in any art form other than writing. It is the least-filmable piece ever committed to mass market paperback. There is also the great Dorothy Parker‘s perfect poem “Two-Volume Novel,”

The sun’s gone dim, and
The moon’s turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn’t love back.

But this, six-word flash fiction, and perhaps the most restrictive of those challenges, takes inspiration from this great work of Ernest Hemingway‘s

For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn.

How much daring must a human being have to go up against competition like this, or even to exist in the same sphere? Hemingway himself said it was his best work, and he was no slouch in the work or opinion departments, for all his boozing.

This is the roundup that Wired magazine collected from some of the top SciFi writers today(stolen from Wil Wheaton), and I must say that, however neat the idea, this is one sad sack of sentences. While some of them would make a good first line for a conventional novel

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
Kevin Smith

most of them are rather laurel-resty

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
Stephen R. Donaldson

Hearteningly, a scant handful actually live up to the challenge and do justice to the reputations of the writers. It lights a fire in my soul and the souls of all good readers and writers when we see good or great writers writing this well:

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
Rockne S. O’Bannon

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
Margaret Atwood

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
Alan Moore

And here, to leave you with our ambiguously depressing thought for the day, is Hemingway’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech, as read at the banquet by the American ambassador to Sweden. At two minutes and ten seconds, it is in its own right Flash Speechifying, but nonetheless eternal for that. If the player doesn’t work for you the text over the jump, and here is a Realplayer version of Hemingway himself reading it; if any of you can convert that horrific medium to an MP3 I would be much obliged.


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Continue reading

Cthulhu ’08!

Look, he’s got a new campaign manager! This should be teh awesomeness!

Cthulhu Fhtagn! Ia!

I always wondered what Dean was yelling. Stolen from It’s a Definite Maybe.

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quiz: which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you?

Not a whole lot to choose from in this quiz, but what the hell…it’s Shebeen Club day, I’ve got two job applications and a report do to before I go to bed, and I’m running around like a raven with my tiny birdie teeth ripped out. That’s a doubly-obscure reference, for those of you who think Poe is a waiflike Nineties singer.

You scored as Annabel Lee. Virginia Eliza Clemm Poe was dubbed as Lenore, Annabel Lee, and others in her husbands poems. She was his child bride who died when Poe was 38. He died two years later. this poem shows that love has an extreme importance to you, and even if that love stops, it never dies.

Annabel Lee
94%
The Sleeper
69%
The Raven
56%

Which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Cthulhu versus the World: a YouTube Masterpiece

In which the Great Cthulhu discovers the joys of pure evil,
and puts paid to a panda over pounding punk. 

“Wha? Batman? This doesn’t even make sense!

Like that’s bad.