For the Haters

On the Interwebz, you’re nobody till somebody hates you, so OccupyVancouver shouldn’t take to heart the recent emergence of a parody twitter stream, 0ccupyvancouver (with a zero, and how! not an o; this humourless git probably never had an O in his life without his mother in the room).

http://twitter.com/#!/0ccupyVancouver/status/152478363792052225

To call it a humour-challenged account is to understate the case to a positively injunctable extent; it’s so bad that it had four followers when I saw it this afternoon, and about eight hours later it was down to three. That’s no doubt its mother, uncledaddy, and sisterwife.

Strangely, they have a platform that I think we can all support:

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The Greatest Holiday Movie of All Space and Time

A Very Depression (I MEAN RETRO) Christmas

A Very Depression (I MEAN RETRO) Christmas

One of the most heartwormy traditions of the holiday season is that of gathering the family ’round for some seasonal entertainment.

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have our favorites for this time of year: A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Ref, and that greatest of holiday movies, In Bruges.

Why In Bruges? Take a look:

I don’t know what YOUR family Christmases are like, but this is pretty much what mine were always like.

Celebrate an Intimate Hanukah

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

How is this menorah different from all other menorahs?

Okay, people, it’s NOT JUST ME and my dirty mind that sees something odd about this menorah.

Is it?

Because sure, it looks like a nice, gay-friendly, low-profile, modern menorah.

But it also looks a hell of a lot like a string of anal beads.

Remove candles before use.

PS thanks to, uh, Kate Spade New York for the link? I really, really don’t think they saw the same thing I did here. Kate Spade has impeccable taste. Uh. Tastes.

Christmas in Canuckistan

Tom Gold's Canadian Christmas

Tom Gold's Canadian Christmas

Merry Christmas, eh!

It has come to our attention here at Operation Global Media Domination’s Mountain Lair that not everyone around the world celebrates Christmas the way we here in the People’s Republic of Canuckistan do. In Belgium they prepare their children for abduction by the loathesome Black Peter, while in Spain there’s something about six or eight black men…I didn’t really follow that part…and in Australia, of course, where it’s the height of summer, they spend the solstice season celebrating the birth of Archie.

This is how we celebrate the season in my country:

HOCKEY!

BITCHING ABOUT WORK!

Union Lightbulbs

Union Lightbulbs

OCCUPYING!

Occupy Christmas

Occupy Christmas

PRETENDING INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY SINGING OUT LOUD!

DRINKING!

Now THAT is a Canadian Christmas

Now THAT is a Canadian Christmas

What else is there when you can’t afford to shop? Oh, right, work for awesome clients who pay in cases of wine instead of cash! This is my favorite way to get my Christmas shopping done, actually.

Cheers!

A Very Morbid Christmas from Calvin and Hobbes

While out on the lawn...

While out on the lawn...

It has recently come to our attention that since beginning our new gig at theDailyDot we have been lax in our usual seasonally-orientated postificationing of slightly altered Christmas Carol videos, Cthulhu references, and mashups. To make up for the deficit, here is the platonic ideal of a raincoaster Christmas blog post: a frosty, yet haunted tableau of the vast and twisted array of demented, cannibalistic snowmen created by that diminutive genius, Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes. And yes, it’s been thirty years.

GOD WE’RE OLD.