Category Archives: Humour

handy Pete Doherty arrest report template

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Pete, you're looking rode hard and put away wet! 

With a little tweaking this could work for George Michael, too. From commenter Gabe over on Gawker’s post about Doherty’s latest drug bust. Seriously, I think it must be some other dude who got Kate Moss pregnant; surely by now his body is incapable of producing anything but crack-flavoured vomit.

FROM NME.COM
POST DATE __/__/__ __:__ GMT

PETE DOHERTY ARRESTED ON DRUGS CHARGES FOR ________

Pete Doherty was arrested yesterday (______ __) for ________ possession.

Police stopped the Babyshambles singer as he was driving a _______ at __.__am in London’s _______ district

Doherty was arrested on suspicion of possession ______.

There were ____ other passengers in the car who were also arrested and later bailed, reports ____.

All ____ were released from _______ police station pending analysis of “substances recovered”, a spokesman said.

Doherty was released on police bail until ______.

The singer is due in court later this month over a previous drugs sentencing.

pic o’ the day: stormwatching in Ucluelet

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Do ya ever chat with Europeans and listen to them complain about “wilderness” and “wild animals?” A friend of mine lived in Heidelberg for a year and during that time she noted several occasions on which the populace was encouraged to go out into the forest and “Pick up the garbage, like fallen leaves, branches, etc”. Can’t have that messing up the forest, nosirree!

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Hedgehogs are not the same as grizzly bears. If your country does not support wildlife that can kill you, it has no wilderness. It has parks.

A friend of mine used to say that if you go camping and shoot a gun off and anyone else can hear it, you’re not really camping.

Welcome to my world. This is nine hours drive from here, including ferry time, but I can walk from my apartment downtown to an area with bears in it in about two and a half hours. Forty minutes on the bus if you’re lazy.

Behold Ucluelet, world-renowned destination for stormwatching, for obvious reasons:

Ucluelet by Sherri Boe

snakes on a plane: the auditions

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From DCLugi, and also Christopher Walken, Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Joe Pesce, and a special guest some of you might recognize…

an Aussie call to action: blog for brains

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100% of Zombies surveyed agree you should blog for brainsand no cheap jokes, please.

Stolen from pigmoose:

brain injury shatters lives, not just the immediate victims but their loved ones as well.

as you know if you have been reading fullmonto.com, the fullmonto beefcake calendar will raise funds for the brain injury assocation of queensland. if you are reading this post, there is something you can do to help the gang at www.fullmonto.com .

1. share this post with friends
2. if you have a blog. blog for brains (link to this post or http://www.fullmonto.com)
3. visit www.fullmonto.com maybe even leave a comment
4. make a donation at www.fullmonto.com using the ..make a donation button.. on the right hand side of the page

any or all of these actions could take you less than 10 minutes. this simple action could save a life or help to repair a damaged one. if you can assist in any of these ways your support would be greatly appreciated.

And here’s more news from fullmonto:

the mighty monto roos, a rugby league football team are getting rude and going nude for brain injury awareness. monto is a small country town, in the australian outback, and the local footy team were devastated when one of their own succumbed to brain injury.

so these country boys have dug deep, and with the help of digital imaging guru ross stockwell are creating a beefcake calendar. the calendar goes on sale on the 14th of december, and all profit goes to support the brain injury association of queensland.

so, can 13 nude men really defeat brain injury? probably not, but with your help they can make life better for those whose lives have been shattered by brain injury.

lessons from a Japanese chopstick master

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“Ah, Grasshopper, when you can snatch the chopsticks from my hand…”

Learn how to use Chopsticks from a Japanese Chopstick Master!!!

Lesson 1: How to split apart those cheap wooden chopsticks
Lesson 2: How to eat Japanese soba noodles
Lesson 3: How to eat a McDonald’s Cheeseburger

Great, now I’m hungry. Anybody know a good noodle place around here?