This is the smartest thing I’ve heard in ages. From tonight’s meeting of The Shebeen Club.
Me: “And I’m all, like, fuck The Man!”
Ian: “You know, sometimes The Man just needs a little foreplay.”
Category Archives: Justice
quiz: how likely are you to eat your buddies
NOT the way you’re probably thinking, if you’re as dirty-minded as most of my compatriots.
Find your Match at JustSayHi
Heartlessly stolen from CelebratingTheAbsurd, and, realistically speaking, somewhat lowball. All my friends are chubby and slow except Cybergypsy, who would never see it coming. Ah, he’s a vegan; he’s not worth the bother of killing anyway!
Kumari Fulbright Schadenfreude Special: Beauty Queen Goes Bad
Ah, how the world loves a Beauty Queen. From the blister-inducing stripper heels in the swimsuit competition (guess they’ll be swimming with sharks) to the painful nailing of the tiara to the skull at the coronation, to the ozone-depleting layers of hairspray that make the triumphant ride in the convertible possible, truly il fait suffrir pour etre belle.
Or even, it appears, laide.
One man who suffered because his beauty queen was not laid was this poor, anonymous Arizona man, who dumped the handsome-looking Miss Kumari Fulbright, law student, model, Miss Pima County in 2005, Miss Desert Sun in 2006, and repeat Miss Arizona (and boyfriend) loser.
Bad move.
As you might have gathered from the above image of the doubtless-to-be-portrayed-by-Hilary Swank Miss Fulbright, she is no stranger to the handling of more weaponry than a law student/beauty queen/model could normally claim to require under standard operating procedure.
But she’s always been anything but standard, of course. So, naturally, when she found herself holed up alone in the Heartbreak Hotel, Dumpsville, she contacted three thugs of her acquaintance and persuaded them, presumably for a fee or services rendered, to assist her in the kidnapping and torturing of her now ex-beloved.
Court documents said the foursome tied the man up with plastic cable ties and duct tape, holding him at two Tucson homes, during which time they pointed handguns at him, threatened his life, stole his cell phone, briefcase and wallet, taking between $500 and $600.
The newspaper also said the documents accused Fulbright of biting him several times, sticking a butcher knife in his ear, saying she was going to kill him and pointing a pistol at him.The Star said after eight to 10 hours, the victim grabbed Fulbright’s gun, which went off, and he fled the house screaming for help.
Ah, but as with so many love stories, the best is yet to come. Yes, beauty queens give us many gifts. The gift of beauty, the gift of talent, the gift of youth, the gift of hope, but most of all…
the gift of Schadenfreude.
Click over the jump to view the truly satisfying end to a real-life Bruce Springsteen ballad gone bad…
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Happy New Year, DB Cooper!
It’s nice to be wanted.
At this time of the year, singletons particularly are prone to feeling a little self-pity. Indeed, wallowing in loneliness and eggnog hangovers, thousands sit in their darkened apartments, watching Sleepless in Seattle and sobbing themselves to sleep at night.
No more will DB Cooper be among them.
No, unlike Osama bin Laden, the mysterious hijacker known as DB Cooper is now officially a wanted man.
The FBI is resurrecting the mysterious case of D.B. Cooper, who 36 years ago hijacked a plane and parachuted near Portland with $200,000 in stolen loot…
The hijacker who identified himself as Cooper was never seen again. Some of the money was recovered in a mountain area.
Anyone with information on the unsolved mystery may contact the FBI at fbise@leo.gov.
Santa, baby, you’re looking a little rough
Remember that classic phenomenon of the internets, Elf Bowling? Sure you do. If you don’t, download it from here. Be sure to get versions #1 and 2, which are the best. Skip #4 if you value your computer and your time.
Backstory: the elves go on strike. “Higher wages, lower urinals” all that kind of thing. And Santa retaliates, and retaliates hard.
Let’s see how that same premise applies to the WGA writer’s strike in a video starring Ashton Kutcher as Santa and Demi Moore as his piece of venison on the side…
via Defamer
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raincoaster 