I’d wear it.
She’s STILL big. It’s the pictures that got small.
You know, that woman may or may not be batshit insane but, given the fact that she literally cannot remember a time when she wasn’t world-famous, and given that she has earned her own way to her place in history, it’s hard to begrudge the old bat her jewels, her antics, her men, her millions, or her attitude. Of course she’s on a star trip: she’s THE star! She is, and always has been, Elizabeth Fucking Taylor.
Which reminds me of something Katherine Hepburn said about … was it Ruth Gordon?…
“Of course the bitch is good in closeups. She invented them!”
Lock up your rectums!
Charges have been dropped in the sixth trial against Tammy Jean Warner of Texas City, Texas (where else, I ask you?) aka the Sherry Enema Poisoner aka Black Widow Amontillado in the case of the…uh…sherry enema poisoning death of her husband, Michael Warner, rumoured sherry enema (if not poisoning) enthusiast.
Despite the undisputed facts that he had a blood alcohol level of 0.47, that it was obtained through the use of a sherry enema (I want to know what brand…really, 0.47? Sounds like a party to me!) that he died thereof, that there was no-one in the home but the sherry enema abuser and his wife, and that the enema was not self-administered, the case was dropped for” lack of evidence.”
Perhaps OJ will put this on his list of “real killers” to look for.
Now, think for a long, sphincter-tightening moment about the whole phenomenon of sherry enema poisoning.
First of all, given that sherry is about 14% alcohol, which I knew off the top of my head (hi Lydia!) and no, it’s not unusual…everybody knows that stuff… and that there are about 5 litres of blood in the average male…unless I’m drunk myself (never safe to bet against, as regular readers will know) that is about 0.1175 litres of pure alcohol, which could be obtained by absorbing 100% of the booze in 0.83928571428571428571428571428571 litres of your common-or-garden sherry, or about one and a quarter bottles. Which, at $18.99 for a 750 ml bottle of Tio Pepe, is nobody’s idea of a cheap way to get high/dead.
Second, sherry has been known as a deadly threat for years. YEARS. Why isn’t this a controlled subst- okay, why isn’t it a MORE controlled substance? Eh? I ask you that. Even Edgar Alan Poe wrote a cryptic warning, perhaps (from what I hear of his habits) himself all too familiar with the sinister beverage’s deadly effects, although there are no eyewitness reports that he was a particular enema buff, some slashfic notwithstanding.
Third, if he was deliberately trying to kill himself, why couldn’t he simply have done as thousands of sherry enthusiasts through the ages have done and wait for the next morning’s hangover? Believe me, motivation for self-annihilation is never stronger than in the throes of a truly epic sherry hangover.
Not that I would know anything about that.
Yes, another YouTube, but a good one!
(Catholics, LOOK AWAY NOW! DO NOT CLICK! NOOOOOooooooooo!)
from the class factotum via the Manolo
from the WOW report, which I found by doing my daily slog in the salt mines, during which I admire my manicure and listen to loud music and eat snack foods and drink refreshing beverages and get paid to read gossip blogs.
It’s a brutal job, but somebody’s got to do it.
raincoaster 