Goddam fuckin’ straight I’m a bright Christmas Tree! Ain’t NO MOFO mo’ Christmasy than me!
You Are a Bright Christmas Tree |
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You are into all things Christmas, even if they’re a little tacky. |
Category Archives: meme
The Global Octopus Metaphor Through History
First, there was Goldman Sachs:
The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.
According to Matt Taibbi, it’s also a Great American Bubble Machine, but when you’ve won as many awards as Taibbi, the editors don’t insist you stick to one measly metaphor.
But, as Gawker discovered, it’s not really specifically Goldman Sachs that’s the vampire squid: according to the former government of Germany it’s the Jews who are a stabby, stabby, oil-crazed octopus. Behold
the Jewcephalopod:
Very few people actually know that “Jewcephalopod” is the root word for “Jewcy.” It’s true. It’s a FACT.
But this globe-straddling, stabby, oil-crazed, vampire cephalopod is also Standard Oil:
as well as Big Transit, Big Politics, The System, and (again) Standard Oil.
From this, I believe we can only conclude that, in fact, the Rockefellers are Jewish.
Then Hitler showed the drawing to Hirohito, and thus was born tentacle porn.
An Eight-Tentacle Salute to Octopi
This dude can take eight requests at a time, and refill your inkwell!
Perhaps we should set him up with this lovely Muslim octopus:
and now, a haiku Twitter octopus joke from Chris Twitery:
knock knock knock knock knock
knock knock knock who’s there? Not that
octopus again
Don’t Make Me Angry
Quiz: What Comic Book Sound Effect Are You?
Oh yeah, baby! I’d totally rock the mutant space, and they know it. Why, Wolverine is covering his genitals with his hands AS WE SPEAK!
Although I was always more of a DC than Marvel person. Hmmm, is this like Saul‘s vision on the road to … where was he going again? Stan Lee‘s house?
You Are “ZAP” |
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You would be relying on your brains instead of brawn. And it’s likely that “Zap” would be a sound that villains hear as you’re taking them down! Over time, it’s likely that you’d morph into some sort of super human. There’s only so much experimenting you can do on yourself before you become a mutant. But even if you had super strength, you’d still love the thrill of shooting off your latest weapon. |
You know the rules: if you steal it, you link me up. Or I’ll come after you and “Zap” will be the last thing you hear.
raincoaster 