Well, we’ve had some bombastic requests from members of the machosphere to lighten up on the “what lip gloss texture are you?” quizzes and up the “are you just a manly man or do you actually make Paul Bunyan look gay?” quizzes, so here’s the macho-iest one I could find, stolen from the Phantom Lord of Ultimate Darkness:
Your Penis Name Is… |
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To tell the truth, I’m horrified at the idea of flavoured Martinis in the first place. Oh sure, it was a kick ten years ago at Delilahs (I never DID get all the way through the Martini menu, at least, not that I recall…) but when one is a grownup one should not order Bartender’s Rootbeer and the ilk except on Eighties Night. And one most certainly should not call it a Martini.
Nonetheless, this is one scary-accurate quiz. Oogatz! It knows me as well as my best friends (you can tell they’re my best friends because I let them pick up the tab).
You Are a Chocolate Martini |
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A bit of a cheapskate, you’re likely to mooch ten dollar drinks off both friends and strangers. You should never: Drink and dash. You’re gonna get caught leaving someone with the tab! Your ideal party: A posh celebrity party you crash, with an open bar. Your drinking soulmates: those with a Classic Martini personality Your drinking rivals: those with a Blueberry Martini personality |
I think I mentioned last year that Vancouver had pot leaf-shaped fireworks on Canada Day. This year I forgot all about the fireworks, so I have no updates for you. Instead, I present this Firework Personality Test:
What Your These Fireworks Say About You |
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You don’t let others see your intensity often, and when they do, they are quite surprised. You burn brightly, but you also burn steadily. You have the endurance to get the one thing you desire most. |
For some things, my friends, there are no words. The soulless perversions, both polymorphous and (shockingly) amorphous, of the cosmic aberration which is Cthulhu know bondage neither in space nor in time, nor in any other dimension either dreamed or measured.
Here, my friends, is proof. Cover your eyes and turn away, rather than click on and be damned.
Here be dragons.
Here be Cthulhu Goatse: Continue reading
raincoaster 