Really, am I alone in finding this a little low?
You Are 64% Weirdo |
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You simply see things very differently. So you live your life in a very unusual way. Who cares if you don’t fit in? Just remember to embrace your inner weirdo… because there’s no hiding it. |
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Hot on the (slightly wobbly) heels of tales of drunken astronauts at the controls of the Space Shuttle comes a delightfully scientific report on the theory and practice of, yes,
Beer! In! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
…Graduate student Kirsten Sterrett at the University of Colorado in the US wrote a thesis on fermentation in space, with support from US beer behemoth Coors. She sent a miniature brewing kit into orbit aboard a space shuttle several years ago and produced a few sips of beer. She later sampled the space brew, but because of chemicals in and near it from her analysis, it didn’t taste great by the time she tried it.
Did anyone else note that, had it tasted good, it would have been the first beverage produced by Coors that ever did.
But there are drawbacks. Despite advantages like no lanes in space and not much to run into, turns out there are some compelling reasons not to chug your Spud in orbit.
Unfortunately for thirsty astronauts, beer is poorly suited to space consumption because of the gas it includes. Without gravity to draw liquids to the bottoms of their stomachs, leaving gases at the top, astronauts tend to produce wet burps.
On the upside, although in the oxygen-enriched atmosphere astronauts cannot partake of beer bongs, they can, thanks to advanced and high-priority Dutch research, partake of beer balls.
I once dated a guy who had beer balls, or so he tried to tell me in the backseat of his father’s Caddy.
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Basically, this is How to Be Badass 101, and who better to teach it than the king of Badass, Samuel L, eh? I’m stealing it from HighAdventureGames because they stole this from me and I’m badass. We take names and follow up.
Now, I know you might find it shocking that someone as cool and together as myself has New Year’s resolutions but believe it or not, there are things that even Samuel L. Jackson can improve upon. Forthwith – if I could have a little music, please. At the top of my list:
- “Continue to kick ass“
- And then I hope to “Be as bad as I know I can be“.
- Also, to “Really put it out there, and by it I mean Sammy’s mojo”.
- In addition, I plan to “Give it as good as I get it“, “Be all that and more“, and “Lose my shyness, vis a vis the rocket in my pocket“.
- Plus, I plan to “Work my voodoo on the lady fans“, “Take a thorn out of some cat’s paw” and “Build a shrine to my own bad ass“.
- Then, it’s time to “Give the demons what for“, “Spare the rod and spoil the face“, and “Continue to kick ass“.
- After which, I’ll “Show the bad men what it’s all about“, “Release a dove from a ghetto rooftop“, and “Cradle a newborn baby in the ruins of a church“.
- Finally, this year, I will “Stick it to all the suckas“.
- And I’m gonna “Show the Man that I mean business“.
- And I’m gonna “Take a computer class“.
[Saturday Night Live, December 1997]
Sadly, it appears that, although I am certainly badass, I am not Samuel L. Jackson. Well, who could be? The world could not stand twice that much cool.
Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
Big Boo-tay!
Take this quiz!
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Let no man say the Catholic Church doesn’t move with the times.
Oh, it doesn’t generally change policies any faster than a glacier changes direction, but their marketing department is already all over Second Life, reaching out to those with no particular First Life (so no change there), and now from the Guardian (of the faithful?) comes news that the Vatican, heretofor known as rather a Slow Adopter (at least since that whole Savonarola brou-ha-ha) has gone all bleeding edge and announced that the C-list blogger known as “the Pope” will be sending daily text messages to the faithful.
No word on whether the service provider will be Virgin.
Again.
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Cross-posted from the Shebeen Club.
Got this off Defamer. Yes, I can see Alan Ginsberg updating Howl just for the occasion. Lindsay Lohan is at least as consistently wasted as William S. Burroughs, although she is better-looking than he ever was and has not yet resorted to dealing. Clock ticking on that one, though.
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raincoaster 