Steve Irwin wants you to get a life!

Seriously, people, you’re freaking me out here. Steve Says Go for a Walk, Mate!Much as I dislike seeing searchers for Mango Porno on my blog, and as tired as I got of Lucy Fucking Gao and her merry band of email forwarders, I’m really quite sick of this now.

Searches that led to my blog yesterday:

beautiful agony 100
watch steve irwin die 73
blackzilla 48
Lucy Gao 43
steve irwin die video 20
beaver shots 17
Stingray killing 17
Steve Irwin die 17
steve irwin video 13
watch steve irwin death video 10

Why doncha watch some nice Star Trek Slash Videos or sumpin’?

for medicinal purposes only

 Shake it up, baby now!

W.C. Fields claimed he only drank brandy as a cure for the bite of a venomous snake, which, he said, “I also keep handy.” But, as always, we must look to James Bond for true leadership, yea, even in the field of medical mixology.

Canadian researchers decided to see if martinis had anything to do with Bond’s apparent good health — remember he was Bond. James Bond.cleared for duty by a medical professional in The World Is Not Enough. The researchers’ objectives: “As Mr Bond is not afflicted by cataracts or cardiovascular disease, an investigation was conducted to determine whether the mode of preparing martinis has an influence on their antioxidant capacity.”

The experiment found that shaken martinis contain more antioxidants than the stirred variety, and antioxidants have been shown to help ward off cancer and other common killers like heart disease.

the Yellow Submarine

And unlike in Ogden Nash‘s famous poem, it is the vermouth.

There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth
I think that perhaps it’s the gin.

Ogden Nash

conclusive proof that there is no god

McSweeney's Internet Header Image

Dave Fucking Eggers is doing celebrity interviews.

Three decades after the Monty Python team made the silliest film ever, it’s been reborn as a hit musical. And it’s even got the killer rabbit! As Spamalot prepares to open in London, Eric Idle tells Dave Eggers why this was something he had to get right.

But why was it something Dave had to do at all?

sexy Star Trek slashtube: Closer

Every love story is better with a little Nine Inch Nails, right?

Or is that just mine…? Don’t answer that.

From Defamer.

stingrays: Steve Irwin’s back, and this time it’s personal!

Stingray, silent but deadly 

Crikey! Steve Irwin is taking revenge from beyond the grave! 

Okay, I’m lying. But somebody is killing stingrays in apparent payback for what they did to Steve. While I’m naturally against indiscriminate slaughter of innocents, they are

  • A) not endangered and
  • B) just big, ugly fish anyway.

Toss a couple on theh bahbie and I’ll be roit oveh, maite!

from the Times:

At least ten stingrays have been found dead and mutilated on Australia’s eastern coast in the last week in what conservationists believe could be revenge attacks for the death of Steve Irwin, the popular naturalist and television personality…

But now it is feared that fans’ mourning has taken a new focus: stingray rage…

Michael Hornby, a friend of Mr Irwin and executive director of his conservation group Wildlife Warriors, said he was concerned that the rays, which are usually docile creatures, were being hunted and killed in retaliation for Irwin‘s death, which he said, would go against everything that the television star had stood for.

It may be some sort of retribution, or it may be fear from certain individuals, or it just may be yet another callous act toward wildlife,” he said.

“We are disgusted and disappointed that people would take this sort of action to hurt wildlife. We just want to make it very clear that we will not accept and not stand for anyone who has taken a form of retribution. That’s the last thing Steve would want.”

Crikey! Steve and his Croc Buddy