Category Archives: Movies

it came from the GALLERY!!!

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In the Valley of Gwanjii...frickin' cool things happen!The online gallery of Ray Harryhausen creatures at ChineseJetPilot, that is.

If you spent your childhood locked in a Belgian basement as the sex slave of a roving frites merchant, you will need to be informed that Ray Harryhausen was and remains the greatest practitioner of stop-motion creature animation in the history of film.

This is not as cineaste-nerdy as it sounds. Harryhausen was, in fact, frickin’ cool. His Eohippus, for instance, from the immortal classic The Valley of Gwanjii, is still capable of making the little children cry.

And some of the big ones, too.

But of this, we must not speak.

We must, instead, direct you to this exhaustive index of the entire Harryhausen menagerie, with bonus Quicktime video snippets from the films in which they appeared. Frankly, if you prefer Allosaurs to Anistons, this is website totally stomps that lame old Oscars website.

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quiz: which classic dame are you?

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Check this out, unbelievers! I stole this delightful little test from View from the Event Horizon.

 Gentlemen, what are you all doing on the floor?

Barbara Stanwyck
You scored 33% grit, 23% wit, 42% flair, and 9% class!

You’re a tough dame, a bit of a spitfire, and you can even be a little dangerous, but you do it with such flair that almost all is forgiven (and even when it’s not, you’re still the most interesting woman in the room). You can be witty and charming, all right, but you have a tough streak that keeps you focused and sometimes deadly. You’ve had quite a climb to get where you are, but you’re a hard worker and you mostly deserve all you get…and then some. You might end up destroying everything around you, but you must admit…you’ve got style.
Your leading men include Henry Fonda, Fred MacMurray, and when you forget yourself, Gary Cooper.
Find out what kind of classic leading man you’d make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.
Why, yes. You CAN buy them for me.My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on grit
 
 You scored higher than 99% on wit
 
 You scored higher than 99% on flair
 
 You scored higher than 99% on class 

Yeah, suck on that, haterz! I’m classy!

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the facts of life

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You called?  

and the fact is, in a perfect world the facts of life are revealed to your delicately budding sensibilities in the presence of none other than America’s Sweetheart and Sexiest Man Alive, George Clooney. 

I, apparently, grew up in a perfect world. And so did you. Who knew?

what is he doing with that hand? Can he come over and do it here?

The simple fact of life for George Clooney, however, is that the poor man will never, as long as he lives and no matter what he achieves, including Oscars, Sexiest Man Alive Hall of Fame status, earning a coveted internship on the good ship Fugger, even achieving the Presidency, bringing about world peace and/or saving the planet from paparazzi/mutants/asteroids/misunderstood minorities gone bad, he will never live down this haircut.

Work that mullet, boy!

You take the gel,
You take the bangs,
You take them both and there you have the ‘do Clooney.
The view ew-ee!That's quite the Flock of Seagulls quiff, dear

There’s a time you gotta go afro
You’re growin’ out,
You know about the blowdryer.
Oh no, feathers!

When the look never seems,
To be working without the Brylcreem.
And suddenly you’re finding out,
The Caesar look will help you out.
The greying works too.
Hot Dippity-do!
A goatee pour vous?

It takes Christophe to get it right,
But you’re learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of li-fe.

Tootie, as usual, gets the best lines.

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quiz: which Lord of the Rings/Alice in Wonderland character are you?

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Yeah, I’m reaching a bit with this one. It’s not tremendously recherche, and the chances are that every fanboy and Figwit-lover has already posted it on their Livejournal, but still, there is a compelling reason for posting this.

It makes me look totally cool.

You scored as Frodo Baggins.

Frodo Baggins
90%
Gimli
90%
Eowyn of Rohan
87%
Peregrin Took (Pippin)
80%
Gandalf the Grey
73%
Meriadoc Brandybuck (Merry)
73%
Aragorn
73%
Saruman the White
70%
Legolas
67%
Galadriel
57%
Arwen of Rivendell
53%
Gollum
53%
Samwise Gamgee
47%
Boromir
33%

Which Lord of the Rings character are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

Whereas this does not:

You scored as Tweedle Dee & Dum. Yes, you’re both – because they’re exactly the same. You’re quite dumb, and blatantly oblivious to most things going on around you. You love to tell stories and screw around. You’re loveable, but sometimes extremely annoying.

Tweedle Dee & Dum
81%
Alice
75%
The Mad Hatter
69%
White Rabbit
56%
Cheshire Cat
56%
Queen of Hearts
50%
Caterpillar
50%

Which Alice in Wonderland Character are YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

Cthulhu versus the World: a YouTube Masterpiece

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In which the Great Cthulhu discovers the joys of pure evil,
and puts paid to a panda over pounding punk. 

“Wha? Batman? This doesn’t even make sense!“

Like that’s bad.