The Julian Assange Coloring Book: yes, this exists

Julian is feeling a little blue today. Won't you cheer him up?

Julian is feeling a little blue today. Won't you cheer him up?

Yes, the world contains wonders. The latest marvel is this perfect gem of a book, the Julian Assange Coloring Book. Just a smidge too late for Christmas, dagnabbit! That’s the bad news: the good news is that this exists and it’s free! Download away! Or you can colour them right on the site with their charmingly primitive digital tools. If you want, you can even email your finished artwork back to the website as JPG attachments and they’ll post them in the gallery. How exciting for you, when Julian himself (oh, are we dreaming? Is it too much to imagine him at the end of a work day, exhausted, pale, just surfing the interwebs for a little entertainment on a long, lonely night in a ten-bedroom mansion in the snow-covered English countryside?

Where was I?

Right, closing the parenthetical, so here you go) when Julian Himself, I say, stumbles across your humble effort. His tired eyes open wide in surprise. He starts in his chair. A Spode cup with the dregs of cocoa in it crashes to the floor. Is this a threat? Is this a joke? Is this a ploy of some kind? but then he relaxes as he realizes that, no, there’s nothing hostile here. A smile plays across his lips, at first tenative, then coy, then satisfied, happy, in on the gentle jest. Ah, that’s better, isn’t it Julian?

Jesus Has Two Daddies!

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay

It’s TRUE! Jesus has two daddies: and a camel-load of cute, in this adorbz video by adorbz Kiwi toddlers, who re-enact the Christmas story with some snazzy costumes, Oscar-quality performances, and the irresistible power of Teh Kyoot.

Imagine

John Lennon

John Lennon

Thirty years ago today, The Sister walked into my room in Carleton Place, Ontario and said, “Wake up. Grandpa and John Lennon are both dead.”

Really, every morning since then has been a snap, relatively speaking.

Jimmy Joe Roche performs Back in Black

Amy Winehouse, eat your heart out. You’ve never been this drunk in your life!

 

And while I’m here posting (now that they’ve fixed WordPress, at least temporarily) have some gossip links:

John Galliano’s unholy ambition (Ayyyy)
Harold, Kumar, Team America World Police, and your daily civics lesson (raincoaster)
2 girls, 1 cup, 1 Chaplin (Lolebrity)
Unspeakable horror aboard a shipwreck! (ManoloFood)
Baby put in corner, survives to triumph (AgentBedhead)
Clive Owen, looking pretty (BusyBeeBlogger)
and you, madam, are NO David Bowie (CeleBitchy)
Justin Bieber in Playboy? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
I think this is a steampunk jeweled zombie dress?(CelebritySmack)
Don’t Tattoo the Hoff! (CityRag)
But HOW do you love a man in a wetsuit? (CojoStyle)
They’ve always seemed Sketchy to me (DailyStab)
Yes, we have socialized B-lister protection (DListed)
Charlie Sheen also reads Playboy for the articles (Earsucker)
Give that monster a cookie! And a job! (EvilBeet)
My invitation must be lost in the mail (GabbyBabble)
Hopefully this means she’ll be “acting” less (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Daniel Radcliffe actually IS Harry Potter (HaveUHeard)
Versace de-sexifies, rolls over in grave (INeedMyFix)
But seriously, how do you parody Nicki Minaj? (PerezHilton)
and Paris Hilton carries her Thanksgiving entree to the pantry(PopBytes)
Brendan Fraser in “Homeless or Hipster?” (SeriouslyOMG)

 

Old McDonald had…

Old McDonald had a psychotic break, that's what he had

Old McDonald had a psychotic break, that's what he had

Shit, man, I dunno what he’s putting in the water over there, but I am staying the HELL away until he runs out of it. Between this and yesterday’s apparition, I’m rather glad these are in black and white instead of Colour.

Speaking of Psycho, here’s your gossip for Wednesday:

Old McDonald had a problem… (raincoaster)
Draco Malfoy cleans up good (Ayyyy)
The Andy Warhol New York City Diet (ManoloFood)
Joan Crawford’s dating tips (Lolebrity)
Il fait suffrir pour etre belle (ManoloBeauty)
Spoons are a girl’s best friend? (CraftyManolo)
A clever bale-out for the recession (GreenManolo)
When Dina Lohan has to tell you how to behave, you KNOW you’re in trouble (AgentBedhead)
Kellan Lutz has Madonna arms! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Even St. Angelina can’t save Bosnia (CeleBitchy)
Tony Danza heckles a priest at a funeral (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Canuckistan corners teh sex-ay (DailyStab)
Chupa schtupped (DListed)
Beyonce is bad! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Eva Longoria Foursome (HaveUHeard)
You don’t have to be crazy to hate Bristol Palin (INeedMyFix)
Harry Potter finds his dead parents alive! (SeriouslyOMG)

Oh, and…