which is a reference to a noirish Robert Bloch
[Update: I have been informed that the segue between Bloch, raincoaster, and Cthulhu is too abrupt: I would have thought it a continuum, rather, but here we go with the explication: Bloch was a pal of HP Lovecraft’s
So, what did raincoaster do today?
Had lunch with a pal and got a nice tour of the Naramata Bench or portions thereof, narrated. What is the point of a drive without a story, I ask yez?
Spent several so-far-fruitless hours trying to get the new Jesus Phone activated (The Sister is paying, The Sister is in Ottawa, the Fido company insists on her being physically present with the credit card. ALTHOUGH they accept internet orders, but then she’d have to mail me the SIM card. Fortunately, I’m up in PTown and the standards of service here are nothing short of consistently amazing, and I say that as a jaded city dweller, so the Fido store manager at Cherry Lane is working it out with the store manager at Bayshore so my sister can go in, present her card, and Cherry Lane will instantly get the phone up and running and call me to come pick it up, which is more than I’d expect of any shop in Vangroover over the Christmas holidays and that’s for sure and certain, but where was I? Oh yes, closing the parenthesis).
And did you know that in PTown the most desirable real estate is in the zone called “Between the malls?” Yes, just downhill from the industrial flats. Just what I’m looking for in a home: waddling distance to Zellers and the food court.
Then, came home, made a dinner of tortellini and what I thought was leftover pasta sauce with sliced mushrooms but turned out, once I’d stirred it a few times, to be tomato sauce with greyish noodles shaped like chubby fish, but what the hell. Add some basil and it’s just like Ragu, right?
Then attempted to get some decorations up around the place (which I am only house-sitting, so it’s not exactly my style) to make it look homey. Think I’m doing pretty well, don’t you?
Vodpod videos no longer available.
Now bring us some squiddy pudding
and, of course, the centrepiece
First, there was Goldman Sachs:
The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.
According to Matt Taibbi, it’s also a Great American Bubble Machine, but when you’ve won as many awards as Taibbi, the editors don’t insist you stick to one measly metaphor.
But, as Gawker discovered, it’s not really specifically Goldman Sachs that’s the vampire squid: according to the former government of Germany it’s the Jews who are a stabby, stabby, oil-crazed octopus. Behold
Very few people actually know that “Jewcephalopod” is the root word for “Jewcy.” It’s true. It’s a FACT.
But this globe-straddling, stabby, oil-crazed, vampire cephalopod is also Standard Oil:
as well as Big Transit, Big Politics, The System, and (again) Standard Oil.
From this, I believe we can only conclude that, in fact, the Rockefellers are Jewish.
Then Hitler showed the drawing to Hirohito, and thus was born tentacle porn.
This dude can take eight requests at a time, and refill your inkwell!
Perhaps we should set him up with this lovely Muslim octopus:
and now, a haiku Twitter octopus joke from Chris Twitery:
knock knock knock knock knock
knock knock knock who’s there? Not that
octopus again
Could it be that someone has finally found a solution to the dwindling natural habitat and consequent decline in numbers of the noble, once populous, Pacific Tree Octopus? Looks like a smart NGO has stepped in where angels fear to tread and just slam-dunked it.
How long now until Crabitat for Humanity starts in on building some cephalopads?
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raincoaster 