I’m sure that this question is keeping you awake nights. “Am I more nutty or dry? Fragrant or just pungent?” you doubtless mutter to the dark spaces between the stars as you lie abed, consumed with existential dread and the faint aroma of the dairy products you inadvisedly consumed in the search for knowledge, even though you are lactose intolerant.
How, O Lord! How can we go on without knowing what verdict the Online Cheese Comparator will render?
Your cheese rating is: Neufchâtel
A traditional soft, white table cheese from Normandy in France. Neufchâtel smells and tastes of mushrooms. It has a dry, velvety rind, and a grainy texture. When mature, Neufchâtel develops a bitter, salty, acrid taste.
Well fuck that ridiculous Online Cheese Comparator, then! It’s obviously completely inaccurate and can’t tell a mellow, non-fungal-scented, soft and gentle soul when it runs one through its cheese-identity-detector algorithm.
Harumph!
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raincoaster 