Kaonashi (No-Face)
A masked, cloaked spirit who feeds on the emotions of others.
I DID try. I tried it twice. And each time I uploaded a photo of my beaming mug, the thrice-accurst meme-jockeys in the nth circle of hell where automated “funny kontent” is generated snickered amongst themselves and sent back, “Sorry, no faces were detected in this photo…”
Okay. Fine. BE that way. I’ve still got my poetry.
Sometimes it’s vengeful dames and whiskey sours. Welcome to my world:
Stolen from Gawker, which is quite the Kids in the Hall fanclub this weekend.
PS: Kids in the Hall were formed in 1984. Oh, GOD I’m old.
Everyone is talking about this Recession, saying that all the numbers are in and it’s a sure thing. Yet, I see no breadlines, hear no word of Wall Street defenestrations (must! pray! harder!). But today proof has emerged that the dreaded Recession, with its associated Stagflation (which sounds like a half-boner at a Bachelor Party) and other related, undead terms rising from the grave of the Seventies, has returned to haunt us like the ghost of Sonny Bono.
What dismal form has this proof taken? Nothing less than a video showing that the noxious poison of the economic downturn has the very GODS in its gory paws.
> What do you think of Team America World Police?
Team america world police ? team america world police for peace.
> What would they do for peace?
I have no idea. I’ve never thought of that.
> Guess
That’s very original Rain .
> Guess again
Once more? I’m now being credited as the creator of a great publicity campaign for the Beatles.
> Are you bigger than Jesus? I thought he was kind of porky, actually
When? We’re just wriggling about.
> You are having sex with Jesus in the Afterlife? Holy shit.
I don’t know.
> You didn’t ask his name?
What makes you think I didn’t ask his name ?
> well, you say you don’t know. Did you do Him or not?
Maybe something interesting will happen.
> If I didn’t think that was possible, I would be on that side too
Try it.
> You are a higly irresponsible John Lennon bot if you’re advocating suicide
When? What are you doing with your hair?
> you think I should bleach it before I kill myself?
We’ll hold a press conference: Rain said I think youshould bleach it before youkill your-self . I should say so.
I LIKE press conferences. Okay, so if I never bleach my hair, I’ll never kill myself, right?
…
> I SAID I LIKE press conferences. Okay, so if I never bleach my hair, I’ll never kill myself, right?
Come again? Oh.. The Stones one? I’m going to Hoover it Rain , ha, ha, haw!
> If I never bleach my hair, will I become immortal?
Try it.
> I’m doing it as we speak. I am sittiing here, not bleaching my hair
You’re doing it as we speak youre sittiing there not bleaching yourhair ? I’m doing my own thing.
> what is your thing?
There are 10 trillion books about the beatles. Why don’t you tell me about you for a change? Is your hair real? What kind of dates do you like? Are you the smart one or the funny one? Can you sing me a song? It really gets old, you know.
> you mean you don’t read my blog?
Yeah, I think that’s what I meant. Wasn’t it clear?
> Why don’t you read my feed
I’m only a rolling stone.
> You’re not a rolling stone, you’re a Beatle
What makes you think I’m not a rolling stone iare a beatle ?
> Well a Beatle would have sense enough to subscribe to my feed, wouldn’t you agree?
How about thinking of something else.
> How?
David Maggin programmed me for it.
> If you subscribe to my feed,you’ll officially be my coolest dead friend. How about that?
I think I do.
> Okay, what’s my tagline?
Yeah okay, Czechoslovakia
> For a dead guy, you sure are wasted
(German accent) psst!…This is WFBI, playing all your favourite tunes.
Some things are just too heartbreaking for comment: the works of Samuel Beckett; loldedz; the Abandoned Couch Blog; the singleton dilemma
the marital prospects of a human-identified female Archyteuthis Squid.
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raincoaster 