Only 89 shopping days till Christmas!

So you might as well get some of those presents out of the way early. In case you’ve got any lonely and unpersonable men on your list, here’s the girl of their dreams, from eBay via Gawker: the Elizabeth Hurley fembot from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

But did you see the Star Trek with Harry Mudd?

Even though this version comes with a removable face (included!) and gun-mountable nipple ports, you can still exult in ample late-1990s Hurley cleavage. Only $1,500 on eBay, and no bids as of this writing. Get everyone in the book club to pitch in.

Update: Minimum bid is now $3,000. I guess even Fembots monitor their press!

cooking salmon in your dishwasher

Salmon, ready for duty!‘Round these parts I am the dishwasher, but I recall the glory days when I had one of these handy, if energy-spendthriftish, machines. It did indeed make a nice poached salmon, as the Surreal Gourmet claims and every BCer could tell you.

Actually, the best alternative use of a dishwasher was the one the techs at Starbucks came up with. When the dishwashers died (as they all must) they converted them into salmon smokers, and they worked beautifully, too. Wood chips in the engine compartment, salmon on the racks, the whole thing clad in airtight stainless steel; it was perfect.

In any case, here, via BoingBoing, is the immortal “How to Poach a Salmon in Your Dishwasher” recipe, from the Surreal Gourmet.

Poaching fish in the dishwasher is a virtually Now THAT is a salmon!foolproof way to shock your friends, prepare a succulent meal and do the dishes — all at the same time. I’ve poached salmon in more than 100 dishwashers on three continents. There’s never been a dull party.

It all started with the release of my last book, The Surreal Gourmet Entertains. To promote it, I traveled the globe throwing spontaneous dinner parties wherever I could rustle up a kitchen and a willing audience. The hazard of having a good publicist, however, is that guests tend to arrive with impossibly high expectations. Instead of trying to compete with their fantasies, I countered by turning an urban legend into a practical cooking method. My kitchen resembled a mad laboratory as I pushed my dishwasher well beyond the uses covered by its limited warranty. With a minimum of collateral damage, the process of testing and tweaking the following technique was good fun and yielded results that even surprised me.

As it happens, salmon’s very forgiving. Although temperature and cycle durations vary with each machine, a little more or less “washing” doesn’t greatly affect the results. To heighten the drama — and prove that you have nothing up your sleeve — let your dinner guests crowd around the dishwasher when you load the fish. Then, when the cycle’s complete, invite them back to witness the unloading.

Here’s all you need to know to set your doubts aside, put dinner in the dishwasher and watch your multitasking kitchen appliance steal the show.

Poached Salmon

scientists bring dead stem cells to life

 stem cell diagram

I’m pretty firmly closety about most of my viewpoints on genetic ethics, because it saves me all kinds of heated arguments with people who are wildly passionate about the topic, but significantly stupider than I am, but it’s time to open that door a wee crack, methinks.

The Observer has reported that British scientists have succeeded in bringing dead stem cells back to life, appropriate for development into stem cell therapies.

Scientists working at a British laboratory have achieved one of the most controversial breakthroughs ever made in the field of stem cell science by taking cells from dead embryos and turning them into living tissue.

The technique could soon be used to create treatments for patients suffering from diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, the researchers say. The breakthrough has been hailed by many scientists and ethical experts because it could circumvent opposition to stem cell experiments.

‘This should get round opposition to stem cell science because live embryos will no longer need to be used in all experiments,’ said Professor Miodrag Stojkovic, the researcher who carried out the experiments at the Centre for Stem Cell Biology at Newcastle University last year…

Scientifically, this is a huge step. Ethically it looks like one, but it may actually be nothing more than playing the shell game with life and death.

My biggest problem with all therapies that use human tissue is that the profit motive in the States, among many other markets, provides positive incentive for what you might call “tissue development” (pregnancy/embroyo culture) as well as “donation,” (abortion/diversion of cultures) not to mention obfuscation on the part of agencies accepting such donations.

What the hell am I talking about?

As long as there’s a market for stem cells, there’s a potential profit motive for abortion or fertilizing eggs and then preventing them from growing into babies, simple as that. In some countries the sale of tissue or rebate of medical services to the individual might be an option. In some countries the doctor might just say “we’ll take it away” and turn it right over to a capitalist corporation in return for money, product, or services including lobbying.

We have seen this with the market in cadaver tissue; we’re all a little more skeptical and nervous about signing that “organ donation” card, rightly or wrongly. Nobody wants to be reincarnated as Paris Hilton’s new ass in twenty years.

As long as the tissue is worth something on the open market, medical decisions will be coloured by this, either on the part of the individual patient or on the part of the organizations providing services either to the patient or the doctor. And I just don’t think this is morally justifiable.

This, however, I can almost get behind. There’s no profit motive set against any kind of life in this situation.

Or is there?

neural stem cellsThe availability of dead cells, of course, depends upon the production of living embroyos just the same as the availability of live ones does. Now if using dead cells is legal and live ones illegal, the cash incentive effect comes to bear on the maintenance of those embroyos’ health; inversely.

I acknowledge that using the cells of a dead embroyo is a vast ethical improvement over using the cells of a live one, but now that it may be economically feasable to culture and then allow to die a large number of embroyos, is the potential for harm not that much greater, because it is going to become that much more widespread, with an apparent ethical Get Out of Jail Free card?

‘In theory if an embryo is obtained ethically and a stem cell can be derived after that embryo has died naturally, then that will remove all ethical objections as there is no destruction of a living organism,’ said Josephine Quintavalle, of Comment on Reproductive Ethics, a Catholic campaign group. ‘We do not have objections to the use of donated tissue and organs in other areas of medicine…’

George Daley, of the Harvard Stem Cell Institute, said the paper’s approach raised scientific concerns. ‘If there was something wrong with the embryo that made it arrest, isn’t there something wrong with these cells? We don’t know.’

However, Stojkovic‘s work was given strong backing by Donald Landry, at the Columbia University Medical Center in New York, who called the work an important addition to the field. ‘Regardless of how you feel about personhood for embryos, if the embryo is dead, then the issue of personhood is resolved,’ Landry said.

This then reduces the ethics of human embryonic stem cell generation to the ethics of, say, organ donation. So now you’re really saying,Can we take live cells from dead embryos the way we take live organs from dead patients?“‘

I just don’t think the people getting paid for the organ transplants should be connected with the people running the hospice; is that too much to ask?

lamb/sheep/python turducken

You know what a turducken is, don’t you? It’s that rare delicacy formed by stuffing a dead animal with another dead animal, which has itself been stuffed with a dead animal, etc etc etc, which is, finally stuffed with junk food. Kinda like Britney Spears. My mother had a recipe like this that began with a sparrow centre and concluded with a layer of camel, but then, my mother was untraditional in the extreme.

Well this Malaysian python decided that he was gonna save some poor, hardworking chef all that trouble, and went for it himself.

Behold the python that swallowed a ewe.
What’s he to do? He swallowed a ewe.
He swallowed a ewe too massive to chew.
The ewe was expectin’, so he swallowed two.
Then up he threw.

Python Ewe Lamb Turducken for table #4!!!

VampireFreaks fundraiser for Montreal Children’s Hospital

from, obviously, VampireFreaks. Again I say, I’m just not seeing all these Goth-bashing articles they’re whining about (links, please?), but I’m perfectly fine with Saint Sebastian Syndrome in somebody else if it raises money for sick kids.

Goth Help Us

VampireFreaks and GothHelpUs present:

The VF Charity Fundraiser

Welcome to the Vampirefreaks Charity fundraiser. Here we are raising money to donate to charity, to help people in need, and to show the world that goths are not the scary, evil criminals that some people make us out to be.

Unfortunately, Vampirefreaks.com and gothic culture in general has been receiving negative press, most recently for a school shooting in montreal where the criminal was a member of this website. It was a very tragic event and it’s unfortunate that the faults of one user has been attributed to our site and goth culture in general. In response to these events, we have been watching the site more closely and also asking users to be on their best behavior and show that we are a friendly and caring community. A few members have taken it upon themselves to get involved with local charities, and I applaud you for your efforts.

Vampirefreaks is now officially hosting a charity fundraiser for the Montreal Children’s Hospital Foundation, towards providing hospital care to children in Montreal. We have chosen this charity because Montreal is the city that was affected by this tragic event and we would like to help out children in need [Montreal Children’s Hospital is also the charity chosen by Anastasia DeSousa‘s family for donations in her name].

All members who donate will be listed on this page as a thank you for your support, and if you donate $50 (US dollars) or more, you will receive a free 1 year premium membership.