In what can only be interpreted as a conscious effort from God to show us that mutants are crustaceans too, no matter where on the sea floor they may scuttle furtively, both the States and the UK have gifted us this week with bizarre freaks, and for once I am not talking about Bush & Blair.

A “mutant” crab with three pincers has been picked up off the Cornish coast.

Fisherman Jeff Brown caught the 20cm (7.8in) edible crab three miles off Portreath and realising its rarity, handed it into a Newquay aquarium.

The crab, christened Claudette by the Blue Reef aquarium staff, will be quarantined for several days before going on show.

I’m so glad they stressed that it’s an edible crab, because if there’s one thing I’m looking for in a nice seafood salad, it’s the possibility of random, freakish and poorly-understood genetic mutations.

A visitor at Percy’s General Store on Popham Beach is the talk of the town. It’s a rare yellow lobster, hauled up Monday morning by David Percy.

David caught the lobster near Whaleback Island at the mouth of the Kennebec River. But he’s not the only lobsterman who found a surprise in his traps in the past few days. Just last week, Shane Hatch found a yellow lobster in a trap he set near Rockland. Scientists say the odds of finding a yellow lobster are in the millions.

“Well, its actually about one in thirty million. So its actually thirty times rarer than a blue lobster. And its just a color morph that happens to be a rare,” said Jonathan Grabowski from the Gulf of Maine Research Institute.

Let them try!

They’ll never come up with anything as frickin’ cool as:

Drumroll, please!

The two-toned and psychadelic, half-baked Fungi from Yuggoth By Way of the Gaspe Peninsula.