Porn Stars Discover God, Shakespeare

Yep, as Sploid reports, Jesus does indeed love porn stars. Jesus sure does love him some porn stars, yesiree!And now, they can love him right back. And no, we're not talking about a "creative re-enactment" of passages from the Book of Matthew, you kilt-liftin', mango-slimin', spay cam porn-watchin' perv!

"spay cam porn"????? I ask you!

After another Bible publisher backed out, NavPress had agreed to publish a New Testament paraphrase on behalf of XXXchurch.com, an anti-porn ministry.

The books, whose covers will read "Jesus Loves Porn Stars," will be distributed at porn-industry conventions later this year.

Well it's high time is what I say! Everyone knows that porn stars are entirely dedicated to the pursuit of biblical knowledge, if only of each other.

Now, in addition to gaining access to the words of God, it appears that they will also be allowed access to the words of Shakespeare, whom at least a few elderly, pipe-smoking, elbow-patched professors still believe is god. It's a little like a cargo cult, but with sherry instead of coconut rum.

Shakespeare...as you've never seen him before!

NEW YORK (Reuters) – A new television reality show invites porn stars to test their serious acting abilities in London's theater district, raising the question: Debbie can do Dallas, but can she take on Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard?"

Well wasn't it Chekhov who said that if there's a gun on the wall in the first act, it must go off before the close of the third? Indeed, that's a principle that porn has taken to heart (and several other organs) far more than conventional theatre and cinema. "The money shot" indeed.

And while we wish said actresses all the luck in the world making this transition, it must be said that the material is ahead of them. Not Shakespeare: as far as I know he never even wrote a satyricon, much less a straight-up porn. Or even an at-an-awkward-angle one. But that classic of cheerleading cinema, Debbie Does Dallas has been denatured and played off-Broadway last year. And check out some cast bios. Things have cum full circle jerk.

Susan L. Schwartz (Debbie) Susan has been Debbie Does Dallas, and Off-Broadway too!preparing to play Debbie her whole life, beginning with her starring role as Molly Pitcher in her childhood performance of the WOMEN OF THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR. As a member of the Footlights while studying at Cambridge University, after two summers at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and while studying at the National Theatre in London, everything was leading up to this moment.

Tonya Canada (Roberta) NYC credits include: THE CHERRY ORCHARD

I wonder if either of them were in Godspell? In any case, we can be sure that the complete story will be told in one of the Guardian's blogs.

Very money

RenminbiOkay, so maybe money can't buy you love. But, as any moderately successful capitalist in the world can tell you, it sure can rent it!

China's getting the hang of this capitalism thing, and no wonder: they pretty much invented it. Restaurants? Invented them. Money? Yup, invented it, including the paper it was printed on. And throughout much of Asia, when you hear about violence against the prosperous middle class, it's pretty much indistinguishable from violence against the Chinese, who form the bulk of the merchant class throughout the region. Is this racism, or revolution?

Sometimes the protest can be very subtle indeed. This week the dreadfully-named Guardian arts blog Culture Vulture features really very good reporter Jonathan Watts at Beijing's Dashanzi International Art Fair. You won't find any bombastic revolutionary types there; they were rounded up a few weeks ago and, frankly, carted off to the void. But you can still see social criticism of a more restrained nature.

Cash is used for political ends by veteran artist, Huang's Rui, whose "Chairman Mao 10,000rmb" spells out Cultural Revolution slogans with banknotes. The same material is exploited by young artist Wang Sishun, who has cut and folded a giant 100rmb note into the shape of a vagina. "Before you couldn't buy anything in China. Money was useless," he explains. "But now it can buy anything, even sex."

 It's charming and, I suppose, heartening that we live in a world where there are people who still find that noteworthy. So to speak.

zéro zéro sept maintenant

I'm not loving the blond, looks grey in this Youtube vid, and Daniel Craig should shoot the director for allowing that closeup. In the final shot of this French Casino Royale trailer, Bond looks as if he's going to fucking mew. Bond would not mew. Bond would smile knowingly and then shoot me through the heart.

The music, however, once again kicks 99 kinds of ass.

Linkie o’ the Day: Brazilians in, Pube-fro’s out, WHY?

Sim-ply PubicFrom Nerve. And I'm proud to say I was on Nerve back when the Internet was only a twinkle in some nerd's eyes. Of course, I'm lying, but I'm still proud to say it. I really should work in Hollywood, you know.

True, there's a lot to be said for depilation. Besides the controlling-BO argument and the no-picking-hairs-out-of-your-teeth argument, one could also argue that it's the ultimate in nudity: You're never more naked than when you're shorn of your natural covering. Finally, there's the market value: Sex has become more than a matter of desire — it's also a commodity and a signifier of sophistication. When we take our clothes off, we're performing — and we want to look good on stage. By manscaping the growth whose appearance first marked the change to adulthood, the body is civilized and controlled. Ironically, though, if "body Forestiera pubes. PUBES! PUBES! PUBES!hair" equates to "sex," the smoother we are, the less sexual we are, too. Behind the current fashion for smoothness is the fact that even at our most liberated, we remain fundamentally frightened of our animal natures.

Speak for yourself. Anyone who interviews Norman Mailer and doesn't punch that bitch out is obviously a born feeb.

PSA: May Day

May Day! May Day! I'm Not Sure What Constitutes a Proper Celebration of Beltane Anymore!In memory of John Kenneth Galbraith, I suggest that everyone wear black on May 1, May Day, International Worker's Day.

If you want to hold ribbons and dance around a maypole too I suppose that's okay, but try to look dour while doing it, all right? And make them black ribbons, grosgrain if you have it, something matte. I'm really feeling the matte. And maybe you could sing something from the Bruce Cockburn songbook? "they call it democracy" would be perfect!

Here are the lyrics, ideal for happy, full-mourning maypole dancing on International Worker's Day, to commemorate the death of John Kenneth Galbraith:

Padded with power here they come
International loan sharks backed by the guns
Of market hungry military profiteers
Whose word is a swamp and whose brow is smeared
With the blood of the poor
Who rob life of its quality
Who render rage a necessity
By turning countries into labour camps
Modern slavers in drag as champions of freedom

Sinister cynical instrument
Who makes the gun into a sacrament —
The only response to the deification
Of tyranny by so-called "developed" nations'
Idolatry of ideology

North South East West
Kill the best and buy the rest
It's just spend a buck to make a buck
You don't really give a flying fuck
About the people in misery

IMF dirty MF
Takes away everything it can get
Always making certain that there's one thing left
Keep them on the hook with insupportable debt

See the paid-off local bottom feeders
Passing themselves off as leaders
Kiss the ladies shake hands with the fellows
Open for business like a cheap bordello

And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy

See the loaded eyes of the children too
Trying to make the best of it the way kids do
One day you're going to rise from your habitual feast
To find yourself staring down the throat of the beast
They call the revolution

IMF dirty MF
Takes away everything it can get
Always making certain that there's one thing left
Keep them on the hook with insupportable debt