Pentecostals want to spend taxes de-gaying Norwegian bunnies

Gay dogs do it doggie styleThat’s about it, really.

Except that the Lutherans, by contrast, simply wish the Norwegians to burn in Hell, rather than waste any time in attempts at animal re-heterosexualizing first.

I guess they don’t like waiting.

A Lutheran priest said he hoped the organisers would “burn in hell,” and a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers’ money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct “their perversions and deviances”.

To be fair, this one looks like he's on the DLGot this from ArchieArchive‘s report on the Oslo exhibition of animal homosexuality. It’s a really interesting report, and the links provide some much-needed insight into the very nature of human character.

Big horn sheep “need to have sex with their own fellows just to be accepted. And by being accepted they are making up very important social relations which later give them better access to females,” says Mr Soeli

So Hollywood really IS run by sheep. That would explain why nobody’s bought my script yet. Maybe I should have my agent fuck them…oh right. Anybody know a pretty, gay agent? 

And look, here’s Annie and Susan, explained:

Among swans and flamingos there have been cases of two females living together using sexual contact with males purely to reproduce.  

And, look over there, behind the bearded moss: Tom and John!

Strap in!

Or is it Lance and Matchew?

It has been reported that in certain bird species males double up, allowing them to control a larger territory than a heterosexual couple, which in turn serves to attract more females.

Looks like it’s working…

Tom Cruise, So in love

Miss Manners on the war between the sexes

Miss Manners, warrior princessCross-posting this from ArchieArchive, where he’s posted the entire “women are meat” speech from everybody’s favorite bastion of multiculti sensitivity and carnivorous reptile-baiting, Australia.

If you’re looking for sensible takes on the subject, you can’t do better than the US’s Miss Manners, who was written to by a concerned reader claiming that he didn’t have a question of etiquette, exactly…

See, he just felt that these “girls” who wear revealing clothing, go out on dates without chaperones, drive their own cars, live in apartments alone, etc, were making it really easy for some man to rape them. He wanted Miss Manners to lay out the exact restrictions that would properly prevent such an occurrance.

I don’t think he was expecting her to say “it makes more sense to lock up the men than to lock up the women” but she did. She’s pretty good at making a sharp point when she feels like it.

I’ll post the exact quote when/if I find it, but don’t hold your breath, cuz I’m lazy and it means combing through the books for it, they all being over 500 pages. But ya gotta luv Miss Manners. When Americans are both intelligent and down-to-Earth, they are the most sensible people on the planet.

When they’re not, they’re…

Ann Coulter, Tactless. and approaching 46, too!

strangers in the night

from the Archive

Once, I went out in the middle of the night for a long run. I stopped by Shanghai Alley to do my stretches. There I was, huffing and puffing with my face a nice rosy pink like the nether parts of a slutty baboon and bent over in any number of undignified and unflattering poses, thinking about the way my greasy hair was sticking to my forehead and the way I looked in my baggy sweats. Along came a hooker, skinny the way they all are, with the bones sticking out and that look like they would shatter if you gave them a sharp rap. She was very reluctantly following a customer into the bushes in the little park and when she saw me she called out,

“Way to go, girl, way to be healthy. Not like a sick junkie hooker!”

I replied, “Yeah, but I’m fatter than you,” to keep the interaction going. I mean, I wasn’t going to take her for dinner, but you can’t just drop it; that makes people feel so small. When they reach out of The Life you have to support them and not turn your back. Hell, it’s the least you can do.

“No, no, you look good, lookin’ healthy! You keep going, girl!” and she went. Never seen her since.

the T factor: cocktease edition

where the customer comes first

or twattease: we are, after all, very evenhanded and all Feminista here on the ol’ raincoaster blog.

The Guardian reports that the most famous and historic brothel in the world has just re-opened, but don’t pack your prophylactics quite yet. The reportage, while Bad boys, bad boys, whatchagonna do?factually unassailable, omits some of the most critically relevant information tourists require before booking their vacation time, lathering themselves in strawberry-flavoured viscosity and chucking the carefully-powdered latex bodysuits into a duffle bag.

Read it for yourself:

The “wolves’ lair” – ancient Pompeii‘s biggest, best planned and most richly decorated brothel – yesterday reopened to the public after extensive restoration.

They will let you in. They will take your money. And then they will shaft you.

this way, suckers!

enjoy studying great tits? Have I got a report for you!

Joan Collins, during the reign of Queen Victoria 

Researchers at the EGI have been studying great tits in Wytham, Oxfordshire, since 1947.

Presumably some of their original subjects aren’t quite as great as they used to be, Joan Collins excepted, as always.

Here is the full report, which also explains why they can be different sizes. Bonus!

UPDATE: Metro claims in the comments that these are his tits, and that I should give Miss Cellania credit for them. I can only conclude that I do not know Metro as well as I thought, and that Miss Cellania must be a talented plastic surgeon as well as journalist.

What you don’t know about your friends, eh?