So Courtney, what did you used to do for a living?
Really, who knew she was so literal-minded?
from Go Fug Yourself:
…the implementation of an unexpected hair-hook is utterly great. Think of it: If at the end of the night her handlers can’t pry her out of that confusing gold lame jacket with fur trim, they can just give up and hang her entire body up in the closet.
Why, yes it was. The Girl Most Likely To, it was called, and she did, too. Kind of a comically morbid and vindictive updating of the Georgy Girl story; every chubby teenager’s favorite Midnite Movie O’ The Week, well, next to Satan’s School for Girls. That shit just never gets old. I remember a great scene where she’s upstairs at some old farmhouse and gets her old cheerleading rival to demonstrate a series of backflips…and opens the window at the end of the hall…
As she lay bandaged in the recovery room, Joyner was poisoned by a nurse anesthetist who believed Joyner had stolen her boyfriend back in high school some 30 years ago, authorities say.
Imagine what would happen to Special K (not to mention 
most of Hollywood including the music industry) once the word gets out that the jilted ex-girlfriends of men you’ve long since forgotten could be the ones behind the needle. And those surgical masks make it very difficult to recognize people…coincidence? I think if you do the research you’ll find a disgruntled, now-middle-aged jiltista was behind their design.
The AP via the Guardian has all the gory details. Enjoy!
It’s true, what CollegeHumor says: spammers give the best advice. Their missives are, in their incontrovertable wisdom, akin to the Dufflepuds Chorus in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (we are all about the literary allusions lately!) in their perfect logic. “Getting dark now. Always does at night. When a chap’s hungry, he likes some vicutals,” etc, etc.
I challenge you to take issue with any of these pearls of wisdom all the way from Nigeria:
1nvest N0w? WHhy Wait@!? Laadies luve AMan Wit4 hge p3nis! Don1t st0p! She’s loves 1twhen U cumm h4rd! Bigg moneys 1n #oils in ur fture. Reed mure! Viiagr4 make grrrrls yip with JOy@:0 Deliciblle excotic l4dies wiithh^ titt5 lik3 huugge d1cks(,< f33l btter% with moore h^air! roggaine Che3ap!$$$ Hi honey, it’s Mom. You should call your sister. She misses you.
I first saw Matango aka Attack of the Mushroom People at the long-lost and much-lamented Vancouver B Movie Festival. It was, without a doubt, the finest evocation of the Gilligan’s Island mythotype (Ginger, Professor and all!) in an hallucinogenic, nuclear-aware Japanese context that I have ever seen, then or since. In fact, since it appeared a couple of years before GI did, it can be considered the immediate predecessor thereof. Both are, apparently, descendants of William Hope Hodgson‘s short story, The Voice in the Night. There also exists the possibility that the whole thing resulted in Yann Martel’s Life of Pi. There, don’t say ya never learned nuthin here.
I also recall the goofy first mate’s habit of greeting every surprising twist of events with his signature “Huh? Oh.” After the fourth time, the audience just chanted it along with him.
Just how freaky was this flick? Let me put it this way: the following video actually makes more sense than the film itself does, and here’s the vid writeup:
A music video set to Richard Cheese‘s lounge music version of Disturbed‘s “Down With the Sickness“, using footage from TOHO Studio‘s Matango. Don’t question it, you’ll be much happier.
True, dat.
“Down With The Sickness”Can you feel that?
Ah, shitDrowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems what’s left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
(Will you give in to me?)
Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You’ve woken up the demon in me
[Chorus:]
Get up, come on get down with the sickness [x3]
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me
I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don’t try to deny what you feel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems you’re having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (oh no)
The world is a scary place
Now that you’ve woken up the demon in me
[Chorus]
(And when I dream) [x4]
No mommy, don’t do it again
Don’t do it again
I’ll be a good boy
I’ll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don’t hit me
Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?
Don’t do it, you’re hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch
Why don’t you,
Why don’t you just fuck off and die
Why can’t you just fuck off and die
Why can’t you just leave here and die
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU
I don’t need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
How would you like to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die
[Chorus (last line changed to “Madness has now come over me”)]
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raincoaster 