Category Archives: Singles

quiz: which fucking stupid goddam candy heart are you, and what’s it to YOU if I am?

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No comment. NO fucking comment. Thanks, Stiletto Girl; thanks for nothing.


Your Candy Heart Says “Get Real”


You’re a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.You don’t lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine’s Day date: is all about the person you’re seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and “greeting card” holidays

Why you’re hot: you don’t just play hard to get – you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

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human sexuality and robot intelligence

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engtech, master of blogpimping, dropped this one into the comments section. I’m not above syphoning off his readership, so I’m re-posting this here. So there.
harold is a robot, comic, cartoon, web comic, robots sexual innuendo, google, urban dictionary, slang, rusty trombone, rim job, raspberry beret, roman helmet
Harold is a Robot #2 – Sexual Innuendo
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smoke pot, lose weight: the best of all possible worlds

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Pot Chef, dude!Well actually, as a not-potter myself the best of all possible worlds would be one where the stuff didn’t stink like candy made from filthy socks, rolled in skunk cabbage, but that’s just me.

From CNN via Fark comes news that Big Pharma, our beloved overlords, renowned for bypassing the chance to make a quick buck in order to spend their days and nights hard at work finding a cure for cancer, is developing a new kind of pot that will help stoners toke away the pounds.

The most telling thing in the article is the fact that it was posted in the Money section of CNN, not the Science section.

Or the Altruism section…oh wait, the what?

“The cannabis plant has 70 different cannabinoids in it, and each has a different effect on the body,” GW Managing Director Justin Gover told Reuters.

“Some can stimulate your appetite, and some in the same plant can suppress your appetite. It is amazing both scientifically and commercially,” he said in a telephone interview.

GW said it plans to start clinical trials of the new drug in the second half of this year.

Volunteers?

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melon baller!

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No wonder it has no name; click to enlarge if you dare!Sometimes you run across evidence of another person’s sex life on the internet and you think:

  1. Wow. I guess I’m normal then.
  2. Wow. No wonder he’s got no life.
  3. Wow. Just: Wow.

I’m not sure if DefrostIndoors who passed this along to me wants her name, or even her alias, associated with this. I have no need to know how she stumbled across this. I have no urge to know how she stumbled across this. Really, I’m just going to assume she was trying to find a new kitchen utensil when she ran across the innovative, yet pathetic and disgusting…

Melon Baller!

“Ok i’ve had the melons since yesterday. Cost me about $5 for two of them. Now how do i carve the hole? I don’t want to make it too big.”

“oh yeah another thing i heated it up 2 minutes already and the inside is still hard. well it’s finally hot, but still hard. look’s like the melon’s not up for anything tonight. lol…” 

Big melon ballin! The after shot!Also, all that BlueBomber says is they got this off a forum and if you know anything about forums, you’ll know that you neither need nor want additional information. And yes, that’s where the pictures came from. You have just viewed fruit porn! I suppose these are NSFW if you work in the produce section. Paging Chad Vader! But do go to the site for more on the aftermath. I bet he didn’t even call the next morning!

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Donnie Davies: the dream is over

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 Joey Oglesby/Donnie Davies?

So it is over.

Or is it? Can these unconfirmed internet natterings really be the truth? Can Donnie Davies, merciless scourge of teh gheys and flaming beacon of Fundie righteousness, actually be nothing less than the fiendish creation of the devious and twisted mind of some underemployed and presumably oversexed Dallas musical theatre artiste?

But we can’t be too hard on Joey Oglesby. Haven’t we all gone deep inside ourselves and spent many a happy hour inventing the man of our dreams? Donnie Davies, pink-shirted paragon, international Internet sensation, a man with a sweet way with a musical and a six-string woody, and flaming brand of Christian uprightness, is quite a catch by any measure. And it wouldn’t be the first time some internet guy ended up with nothing more than an imaginary friend.

Donnie if you’re still out there somewhere: We’ll always have the comments section.

Actor Joey Oglesby pawed Serber as a football player in Debbie and gets to do it again as one of the dancing Aggies visiting the Best Little Whorehouse. When director Lemons told Oglesby he’d be wearing a jockstrap, and little else, for one of the numbers, the actor headed for the gym. “I have my 10-year high school reunion coming up, too, so I guess that’s a good thing,” he says. “I’ve never been opposed to taking off my clothes for laughs.”

A Baylor grad who’s also part of the Second Thought Theatre company, Oglesby says his Southern Baptist parents are “pretty open-minded” but refused to see Debbie Does Dallas, which was several notches raunchier than Whorehouse.

Maybe best not to tell them, or Zindler, who’s still on the air at Houston’s ABC station, that CTD occupies a two-story building off Lower Greenville Avenue that formerly served as a house of worship.

Says Sue Loncar, “Yep, we’ve put the hos in church. We’re probably all going to hell for that.”

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