Operation Global Media Domination: The Google+ Situation

well in fact I AM a big deal on Google+

well in fact I AM a big deal on Google+

You know how we hate to toot our own horn around these parts, but this must be said: apparently I’m kind of a big deal on Google+

which is really rather amusing, considering I’ve been banned twice in two days and am still banned. Nonetheless, here’s what my stats look like today:

ReferrerView

sGoogle168

google.co.uk50

google.ca17

google.com.au8

StumbleUpon8

google.com.br8

gawker.com8

google.ro7

google.nl6

google.no4

Meaning that even though I can’t do my usual self-promotional link-dropping, and all my existing droppings have been mopped up from the Goog, other people are spreading my droppings all over the horizon. It’s kinda like Farmville, only I WIN!

And as to why I’ve been banned twice, that’s easy. I’m raincoaster, right? Over five million blog readers have encountered me as raincoaster, so when I started up in G+ I started as “rain coaster.” Now, I wasn’t stupid; the rules clearly say you MUST identify yourself by your real name, so I opened the account not from raincoaster at gmail dot com but from real.name at gmail dot com, and in the space provided for “other names” I put Real Name. I mean, why would you HAVE that space if you weren’t allowed to have more than one name, right? Or as this very wise person put it:

I actually got clipped by Google a week ago due to using the name CZ Unit. Which was interesting, since they asked me to use the name I am commonly known by.

I had to explain over the course of a week that my friends know me as CZ, family knows me as CZ, people in real life know me as CZ. I even asked my friends “What name pops into your mind when you think about me”? “What name do you call me when you see me across a room”

In both cases (and others) the results were unanimous: CZ. Even the person who turned me in used to call me CZ back in 1987 (yes, I have the NextMail with voice attachment

I had to point them to my LJ (cz-unit), something I have been keeping since 2002. 3,000 posts; probably not a sock puppet.

I had to have my friends send emails of support and they were even having notarized letters signed on my behalf saying that they knew me as CZ and only as CZ.

And I had to scan in a copy of my lunch bag as evidence that yes: My wife even writes “CZ’s Lunch” on my bag. What more positive, tangible ID would one need?

All of this brings up two points: First is who defines a person? Is it your parents? Your Job? The Government? Google? Your friends? You?

Second is just how wise is it to outsource your friend support network? I was on G+ for a week when I got clipped, and I still have my LJ as a backup. How about people who don’t have that? What are they going to do when their network vanishes due to upsetting the provider?

Very interesting stuff. I wrote about it on my LJ, it has been an interesting experience. But it does help me to answer the age old question:

“Who Am I?”

That’s a very, very wise post. My own experience was a little less profound, since I’m used to dealing with this question All the Damn Time.

The first time I was banned, there was no notification at all, and if someone hadn’t posted the direct link to the appeal process in the help forum, I wouldn’t have been able to ask for my account back. Google deleted that helpful forum post, by the way. Why, if they don’t want to be evil? It asked for links to places I was mentioned as “raincoaster,” and they had to be along the lines of registered accounts at Google-owned sites like YouTube or media mentions, that kinda thing. I gave them this list (stalkers, here’s your dream material!):

http://facebook.com/raincoaster
http://www.linkedin.com/in/raincoaster
https://twitter.com/#!/raincoaster
http://www.flickr.com/people/raincoaster/
http://www.facebook.com/raincoastermedia
http://empireavenue.com/RAINCOASTER
http://www.wordcampvictoria.ca/2010/04/featured-speaker-raincoaster/
http://en.forums.wordpress.com/profile/raincoaster
http://www.peerindex.net/raincoaster
http://ahamedia.ca/category/raincoaster-media/
http://gawker.com/people/raincoaster5/
http://1st.shortyawards.com/category/raincoaster
http://trueslant.com/people/raincoaster/
http://www.ubishops.ca/baudrillardstudies/vol4_3/v4-3-article70-raincoaster.html
http://www.surveymagnet.com/2011/01/lolebrity-interview/
raincoaster is a god
http://www.mainwriter.com/2010/02/09/questions-over-lunch-with-lorraine-murphy-raincoaster/ http://lanyrd.com/2011/northern-voice/speakers/
Vancouver Blogger Profile: Lorraine Murphy
http://emmerogers.com/tag/raincoaster/ http://carocat.co.uk/2009/08/14/twitlight-who-are-you-raincoaster/

 

Is that enough, Google??? IS IT??? For god’s sake, the LinkedIn and Facebook vanity links are “raincoaster.”

Google emailed me after I filled in the form to tell me that changing my name from “rain coaster” to what I had on my LinkedIn Profile would be acceptable. My LinkedIn profile says “Real (raincoaster) Name,” so that’s what I did (subbing in quotation marks for parenthesis). Last night, they suspended my account AGAIN.

I guess something like 20 links is still not enough?

When are they gonna suspend Xeni Jardin, who also isn’t using her birth name?

And, as women are disproportionate users of pseudonyms (for “what are you wearing, baby” issues), this has become a gender issue. Yeah, I know it’s old skool and boring to call out sexism, but even if that was not the intention, that has been the result.

Don’t be evil. Bitches.

Tag, I’m It

banksy is a little tatty

banksy is a little tatty

It’s like climbing into the Wayback Machine and hitting “Random,” doing another of these. I haven’t done a tag/meme/questionnaire like this in literally years, and became somewhat notorious for getting tagged and giving a world-weary shrug and a heartfelt, “I’m so sorry. I’ve made it a policy not to do these; I just get so many requests, you see” which, I’m sure, earned me quite a tongue-lashing once I was good and out of earshot, and truly it was no more than I deserved.

An Internet Celebrity is the servant of her commenters, after all.

But I’m pressed for time lately, I just returned from a 60 minute walk/jog and I have my link rounups to do and then have to wake up and go to work again in 7 hours, so what the hell: it’s an easy post!

Thanks(?) to TeamOyeniyi for tagging me.

Most Beautiful Post

Then vs Now: the Decline and Fall from an Equine Perspective which is a little meditation on the way in which humanity expresses itself in the way it sees animals. And the ways in which that has NOT improved since the Romantic Era.

I remember at one Northern Voice party, everyone was invited to stand up and read out their best posts. I couldn’t read my best post, because I believe there are only 17 original-to-me words in the whole thing, counting the alt text. If your best post can be read aloud and not lose anything, you’re not blogging: you’re writing radio scripts. Later, one of the organizers said I should have stood up and said that instead.

Most Popular Post

Hmmm, depends how you analyze this. The Mummified Fairy post has over two thousand comments. The Fart Tax post was named “Best of the Web” by the Guardian in January of 2007 (it wasn’t an annual award, it was just “what’s cool today” but GOD DOESN’T IT SOUND FANTASTIC?). My About Page is the most popular thing this week, for no known reason. For a long time I was #6 on Google if you searched for Beaver Shots (mother would be SO proud). Banksy Strikes Again got more hits than any other post ever in one day: 22,000.

Most Helpful Post

Helpful. “Helpful.” I’m not quite sure what this word means, but if education is helpful I guess you could say I schooled the Albanians in the comments thread here: Review O’ The Day: AA Gill on Barnes Grill.

A Post whose success surprised me

The Banksy in Birmingham post. Whodathunk something about transgressive street art would oust Britney Spears Sex Tape as the #1 post on my blog?

Most Controversial Post

Hmm, depends if you’re Albanian or not. The only two times I got requests from lawyers to take something down were a request to remove someone’s name and address in my mirror of the LA Fitness shooter’s diary, and in a post called UK News: How to Get Away With Blowing Up Three Cars in a Huge Fireball Without Being Suspected of Terrorism. Since the fireball apparently never happened, nor the explosion, and there was no point leaving an innocent man’s name up there to draw hatred and death threats, I complied with the requests to remove the name and although I didn’t remove the second post, I did update it and make a new one explaining what really happened.

A Post that Didn’t get the Attention I felt it deserved

Ekranoplan: World’s Strangest Airplane. Okay, not everyone’s into aeroporn, but this thing is AMAZING and it was kept a complete secret until the space program found this enormous, mysterious thing that moved…but it couldn’t be a plane…but it was enormous…but how? Why? How long had these things been around? How did they move? What were they FOR?

Post I’m Most Proud Of

Date with a Devil: my account of meeting serial killer Willy Pickton. I’ve come under relentless pressure not to tell this story, from all kinds of people you’d think should support me, and I’m proud not to have been silenced. I have the right to testify to what happened to me, and if you or metafilter doesn’t like it, well, no wonder you’re Forever Alone.

Tagging Five

Oh god. Virtually anyone I tag will have tagged me at some point and been turned down. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, start your Schadenfreude. I tag TedMorrison,  MomFog, NedHepburn, NecroticHijinks, and the Manolo.

Numa Numa Unicorn Chaser

Spock is logical awesome. The internet, on the other hand, is Illogical Awesome.

Spock is logical awesome. He runs a digital media marketing agency in Soho. The internet, on the other hand, is Illogical Awesome.

You can’t tell me kids can’t tell quality when they see it. They may not know why they’re reacting, but they can’t help themselves.

Same as you.

“I don’t think they’ve added the word to the dictionary to describe this.”

Actually, maybe they have, kid. Could be this one,

“Absence of Quality is the essence of squareness. ”
— Robert M. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values)

“The result is rather typical of modern technology, an overall dullness of appearance so depressing that it must be overlaid with a veneer of “style” to make it acceptable. And that, to anyone who is sensitive to romantic Quality, just makes it all the worse. Now it’s not just depressingly dull, it’s also phony. Put the two together and you get a pretty accurate basic description of modern American technology: stylized cars and stylized outboard motors and stylized typewriters and stylized clothes. Stylized refrigerators filled with stylized food in stylized kitchens in stylized homes. Plastic stylized toys for stylized children, who at Christmas and birthdays are in style with their stylish parents. You have to be awfully stylish yourself not to get sick of it once in a while. It’s the style that gets you; technological ugliness syruped over with romantic phoniness in an effort to produce beauty and profit by people who, though stylish, don’t know where to start because no one has ever told them there’s such a thing as Quality in this world and it’s real, not style. Quality isn’t something you lay on top of subjects and objects like tinsel on a Christmas tree. Real Quality must be the source of the subjects and objects, the cone from which the tree must start.”
— Robert M. Pirsig

or maybe this one,

The precise value of the Golden Ratio is expressed mathematically as the never-ending and never-repeating number 1.6180339887…., a number that can go on indefinitely. Because of its infinite capacity, the Golden Ratio cannot be expressed as a whole number or as a fraction; it is therefore considered an irrational number. Greek mathematician Hippasus of Metapontum has been credited with the distinction of discovering this irrational basis of the Divine Proportion.

According to tradition, his discovery shocked the Pythagoreans whose world view is based on the integrity of whole numbers and their ratios, an integrity that has been extended beyond numbers to the harmonic progression of notes in musical scales and the cosmic harmony of the spheres.

or maybe it’s something else. But it’s something.

Also: what is it with the boys in the red shirts? They sure don’t last long as ensigns on Star Trek, but they obviously have their heads screwed on right; they’re the smartest ones on the video. And someone needs to switch that little girl in the splashy dress to decaf, stat!

Care for a flashback, Interwebs? The Original Numa Numa, with an estimated 700,000, 000 hits and counting.

Also, the next time some agency drone says, “We can make you a viral video” think about this. Think about the randomness, thing about the abandonment, the Gonzo, think about the passion that existed just in that one moment, just in that one take, and to which nearly three-quarters of a billion people have responded. And then ask yourself why this agency drone thinks they can do that for you, and then realize that he is knowingly lying to you.

Virality happens, and it happens for certain reasons, but some of those reasons are not adequately explained in a course on digital marketing, are they?

nothing to see here, move along

Big Browser is Watching You

Ah, so this is the writing box. Just testing Windows Live Writer, which I note is an “offline blog editor” which HAS TO BE CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET IN ORDER TO SET UP.

I’m just sayin’.

Alec Baldwin: Another One Bites the Dust

Alec Baldwin. My first tweet. Maybe I need a glass of wine beforehand. I feel so shy.

Alec Baldwin. My first tweet. Maybe I need a glass of wine beforehand. I feel so shy.

Welcome to the internet, Alec Baldwin. Say goodbye to the rest of your life.

Proof? He’s Alec! Fucking! Baldwin! And he has nothing better to do on a Friday Night than make twenty or so tweets.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mister Alec! Fucking! Baldwin!

You are Worthless, Alec Baldwin

I was sent from planet Xiron to conquer the earth

I had a terrific plan — I thought it would work

Tried to get the Earthlings all to kill each other you see

But it all went wrong and now I must decree…

You are worthless Alec Baldwin, you are worthless Alec Baldwin

You failed in every way and now my stock in you has fallen

Your career is stallin’ and you’re worthless Alec Baldwin

That’s why I blew your head off and your children are all bawlin’

Planet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods like me

But also with Balmacs who are giant bees

The Xipods and Balmacs are at constant war

So we wanted a new home and that’s what Earth was for

But you are worthless Alec Baldwin, you are worthless Alec Baldwin

You fucked up my whole plan and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac pollen

Your garbage needs some haulin’ and you’re worthless Alec Baldwin

Now I must return home a failure — I’m afraid the pit of Kryrok is callin’…