It’s only Tuesday and it’s already proving to be perhaps the most historic week in bulldog history since Karsh took that classic portrait.
Only a few days ago this blog broke news of the rediscovery of the lost French Plaid Bulldog or Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, and now comes news of a new Bulldog Breakthrough, this one a shocking 20,000 leagues under of the sea!
I just checked all the ones in my freezer and they’re fine. In fact, sauteed with a little vermouth they are wonderful!
And, ladies and gentlemen, we do not use those words lightly.
No indeed. This incredible creature is destined for the historic pantheon of pets, the greatest companions humankind has ever known, up there with the sadly now-endangered Tree Octopus, the Drop Bear, and the tragically extinct Longhorse.
What is this miraculous creature? It is the Plaid French Bulldog, otherwise known as Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, a long-lost, recently revived gesture of friendship and solidarity between the people of Brittany and the deposed king of Scotland, England and Wales, James II and VII.
These animals are the only dogs to come in natural plaid patterns, including a dazzling, Lilly Pulitzer-esque pink and green calico plaid pattern that would be the envy of any gay Preppie. Hat-tip to Smartdogs for the tipoff; these babies will sell like gateaux chauds!
From the site of the only breeder in the world currently offering genuine Plaid French Bulldogs:
…since it is a simple fact of life that things which cost more are inherently better, you can rest assured that our Plaid pups come with the absolute highest price for a French Bulldog that you will ever see. In fact, we guarantee it – if you find a Plaid French Bulldog that costs more than ours do, just let us know, and we’ll charge you the extra difference…
…ask us about our certified Clan Authentic Plaidies, just in time for Highland Games seasons. You’ll toss your caber when you see how cute our authentic Clan MacGregor pups are!
Plaid French Bulldogs© – If you don’t have one, you sure do suck!™
Hard to argue with that.
Okay, WTF?
And I do not say WTF? lightly. I only break out the WTF? for truly WTF?-worthy occasions.
Such as this one.
WTF?
I blame Australia. Weren’t the Aussies the ones who got Jediism recognized as a religion? Yes, it’s a real religion now. And so Darth Vader is either their Pope or their Anton LaVey, depending on your perspective. So, naturally, from that point ten years ago to this it’s an easy stroll to this photo, which was apparently (my Icelandic is somewhat rusty; Paging Bjork!?!?!?!) snapped at a 100% legit ecumenical networking meeting.
Which is not to imply that there is a samizdat or heretical ecumenical meeting underground, although that would be post-worthy as well, if somewhat of a logical impossibility. But we have certainly never let impossibility or logic stop us, as Metro will be only too happy to attest in the comments.
UPDATE:
Bloody Hell! None of the major online translators have an Icelandic-to-English web page translation service. Why, this is SCANDALOUS! SCANDALOUS, I tell you! I finally found one at InterTran, praise be to Cthulhu!
Blackface{Svarthöfði} riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} vegum félagsmanna intoat, during, for, in, {í} UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrú}
OrganisationAssociation, Company, Fellowship, Partnership, Society, {Félagar} intoat, during, for, in, {í} samtökunum UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrú} pack of horsesstud, {stóðu} pay lip service to{fyrir} participationinvolvement, {þátttöku} Blackface{Svarthöfða} intoat, during, for, in, {í} walkingambulatory, peripatetic, {göngu} sacerdotalclerical, {presta} whomas, that, which, who, {sem} voru riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} leið riverstalk, laumast að, slope off, laumast burt, infiltrate, stream, {á} clausesentence, simple sentence, typesetting, {setningu} Synod{Prestastefnu} intoat, during, for, in, {í} Cathedral{Dómkirkjunni} yesterday{í gær}.
Snuggle up toAdvanee, Eneourage, Promote, Nuzzle up against, {Að} verbbid, {sögn} Matthíasar Ásgeirssonar, shapeformat, {formanns} UnbeliefDisbelief, Incredulity, Scepticism, Skepticism, {Vantrúar}, var ;fn)þetta þarna, that, this, it, {þetta} onlynone but, but, exclusively, simply, strictly, just, {aðeins} jokingly{í gríni} gert whilebut, only, than, whenas, whereas, {en} themall, þeim mun, {þeim} – finna{fannst} verya great many, a great, widely, all, greatly, highly, immensely, {afar} drolly{spaugilegt} snuggle up toadvanee, eneourage, promote, nuzzle up against, {að} improvecompensate, mend, repair, {bæta} Blackface{Svarthöfða} intoat, during, for, in, {í} hópinn.
Aðspurður sayestsayst, {segir} Matthías goings-on{viðburðinn} beef upbuild up, bolster, boost, favour, fortify, further, hype, intensify, promote, redound, reinforce, {eflaust} notdon’t, never, {ekki} becomegot to, get, grow, occur, take, will, remain, must, need, {verða} yearly{árlegan} whilebut, only, than, whenas, whereas, {en} neverne’er, , nevermore, aldrei framar, {aldrei} sé snuggle up toadvanee, eneourage, promote, nuzzle up against, {að} knowwit, {vita} totalstudy, tot, tot up to, work out at, amount to, {nema} Blackface{Svarthöfði} departeddeceased, defunct, {láti} aft{aftur á} scrape togetherrestrain oneself, hoard, {sér} kræla.
Well, that clears that up!
Do you like big, bouncing, black balls, all glistening wet and tumbling all over one another? Thousands and thousands of big, bouncing, black balls? Well, have we got some hawt pix for you!
Yes, 400,000 big black balls, bouncing all over one another in the bright sunlight. Don’t say we don’t come through on our promises around these parts.
It seems that the reservoir water on which LA depends has such a high bromide content that exposure to sunlight renders it poisonous, and the balls are to shield the water from the harmful sunlight. Think about that the next time you’re enjoying a glass of ice water on the patio at the Ivy.
Yes, big black balls save the city of Los Angeles. It’s like a Blaxploitation flick come to life! Video here.
raincoaster 