Category Archives: Travel

Operation Global Media Domination: Porn Coaster????

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TIAA big, friendly welcome to the three people who’ve reached this blog through searching for the term “Porn Coaster.” Maybe not as friendly as they were expecting, but still.

porn coaster 3
starbucks fatman 1
Pakistani funny web sites 1
cocaine corner 1

So I guess all those posts about Kantian Deontology just fell by the wayside, eh? And what about the Squidfans, dammit? I really put out for you people! Oh, fine, have your calamari and eat your Kiwa Hirsuta too. Coke, Republicans, fat people at Starbucks (try Vancouver, Washington; I know whereof I speak), and laff riots from earthquake-devastated, tinderbox countries. Now, I’m a cynic, but you people worry even me.

linkie o’ the day: everything DOES have a fansite

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And, until recently, an annual convention (and has the word ever been less aptly applied?).

SegwayFest!

You read that right. SegwayFest! Note the super-hyped “!” !!!! From 2003-2005 inclusive, the world’s largest collection of elastic waist chino enthusiasts gathered annually at a Southern backwater city chosen for the ready availability of cheap Redbull and Day’s Inns for their annual Lazy Dork Rodeo. Alas, it is no more, and these bereft vacationeers will have to content themselves with weekend jaunts to Excalibur! (also “!”) in Vegas.

Behold: Segway butts

Every year, in conjunction with other Segway® HT enthusiasts and Segway enthusiast organizations [!!!!!!](such as SegwayChat and SEG America), Segway LLC supports a national gathering for the Segway HT community.

Dubbed SegwayFest, 2003 marked the first year of this gathering and was attended by over 150 people from around the country. SegwayFest! 2003 was held in Chicago while SegwayFest! 2004 was held in Bonita Springs, Florida. Each SegwayFest offers in-depth workshops, educational seminars, “Ask the Experts” sessions, social gatherings, Segway HT skill competitions, special guest speakers, and more!

“And more!” Wow, “over 150 people!” I guess those big numbers start to get confusing, especially after the second or third RedBull.

And here are the true believers, men (?) and women (?) not afraid to pose with their Segways in full polo gear. Ralph Lauren would be so proud; he can’t use his legs much either.

Segway polo

Welcome to SEG America
the national Segway Enthusiasts Group!

Oh god, more “!”

Welcome to the Segway Enthusiasts Group – America, the official national organization for enthusiasts and owners of the Segway® Human Transporter (HT)! We are an independent, national organization that can help bring together Segway HT owners and enthusiasts across the country as we share our interest in the Segway HT. SEG America is run by its members for its members. Our primary goal is to act as a tool to enable Segway enthusiasts to share information and experiences with each other and to move forward the concept of the Segway HT as new mode of transportation.

I love how they always call it the Segway HT, as if there were a whole raft of other Segways out there you might confuse it with. And, I suppose, after the second or third RedBull, you might.

HappyFunCommie Game with Comrade Lei Feng

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Or like, whatever. Here straight from the horse’s mouth, or Yahoo‘s, and they must have all the hot poop on China, what with them being all up Chinese ass lately, is the latest in online roleplaying game innovation.

Doing good deeds, volunteering on building sites and obtaining Chairman Mao‘s autograph are some of the objectives of “Learn from Lei Feng,” a new online game starring the Chinese Communist Party’s legendary hero.

Lei Feng

“For beginners, sewing and mending socks is the only way to increase experience and upgrade,” said Jiao Jian, a young pupil and online game fan from the southern city of Guangzhou.

Boy, this guy is totally gonna be scoring all the chicks the D&D guys are pulling now, eh?

“As long as my experience, reputation, skill and loyalty satisfy the game’s criteria, I will win and meet Chairman Mao,” Jiao said.

Sooner or later, we all will, if we’ve been bad enough.

Oops, I blogged it again

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Okay, so for those of you who are too stupid to realize you’re deploying history’s most effective information-dissemination weapon when you blog, we present the following, moronic, cautionary tale:

brain lightning

It is with a heavy heart that today I must announce the temporary suspension of Cocaine Corner. After the events of this week–which for various reasons I cannot detail in this forum–it has become clear to me that this endeavor simply cannot be continued for the time being. In retrospect, it now seems completely idiotic to have documented, in writing, the types of things I’ve documented on this site, and for that, I’ll always be sorry.

 

I Have an Alibi!!!!

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Honestly, officer, I was nowhere near Nigeria!

Penises Purloined!

three young men have allegedly lost their genitals in mysterious circumstances…Alarmed, he started shouting ‘my penis, my pennies’ and he touched me and immediately I too also felt the same way and my penis also disappeared and so it was with the third victim, so we all raised alarm and a crowd gathered at the scene,” he narrated.

Now, I’m having a real hard time not posting this under “Allegory” but I shall restrain myself.