5???

I am obviously out of the dirty word waiting to happen loop here. Valleywag‘s published a list of 83 words you can’t communicate on Verizon Wireless, and sure enough most of them are pretty obvious: fuck, dago, spic, spankthemonkey (although it doesn’t rule out spank the monkey of course) and so on.

But 5???

I’m obviously missing something. Got to get out more.

the real reason I’m publishing this list is the more creative entries: “fleshpopsicle,” “spearchucker,” and “whiteswallow” (which I thought was one of the birds Craig Newmark feeds in his backyard). Like an 11-year-old boy, we had not thought of saying these words until we heard them, but now those words taste so good in our mouths.

Use the phrase “flesh popsicle” in a sentence today.

Disclosure: As far as I can tell, certain (but not all) entries from Gawker Media blogs are republished through Verizon and thus fall under these guidelines.

———- Forwarded message ———-

No Content provided to Subscribers of Verizon Wireless from Content Providers, whether in the form of text, audio, images, video or otherwise, may contain any of the words listed in Appendix A. This includes any variations in spelling of the words (e.g., fuck, phuck, fucks, fucker, fucked, fucking, etc.), any variations in pronunciation of the words (e.g., nigger, nigga, niggahs, etc.) or any combinations or creations containing any of the words (e.g., ass, assboy, asslicker, uptheass, etc.).

Nonetheless, it is not possible to compile a definitive list of unacceptable words. Language is fluid, with new words and phrases regularly entering the public vocabulary, and established meanings may change over time. For this reason, the list of prohibited words in Appendix A may change from time to time and is not meant to be all-inclusive.

anal
ass
bastard
beatoff
bitch
BJ
cameljockey
chink
circlejerk
clit
cock
coolie
coon
cornhole
cum
cunt
dago
deepthroating
dickhead
dickwad
dildo
dyke
eatme
fag
faggot
fellatio
fisting
fleshflute
fleshpopsicle
fornicate
fuck
fudgepacking
gangbang
genital
getlaid
gobtheknob
goldenshower
gook
hairpie
hardon
homo
honkey
jerkoff
jewboy
jizz
5
kike
lesbo
limey
manloaf
masturbate
muffdiver
nigger
nutsack
paki
panface
poontang
pubic
pussy
queef
queer
raghead
rimjob
rubyredbag
scrotum
shit
sitonmyface
sixtynine
slag
slant
sodomize
spankthemonkey
spearchucker
spic
spooge
teabagging
testicles
twat
vagina
wetback
whackoff
whipitout
whiteswallow
wop

Canadian jingoistic jingle

from those chart-toppers, Ren & Stimpy. May we present: The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksman‘s theme…

hope for late bloomers everywhere

You won't believe it!

Ladies and gentlemen, Mister George Clooney.

from People, via Defamer.

the unabomber manifesto

God knows why I’m posting this. I just happened to stumble across it, in between doing a press release for a speed dating event and emailing around to see who wants to watch V for Vendetta at Video Monster.

Read into that what you will.

The Unabomber Cartoon Hour

Introduction:

Industrial Society and the FutureTed, ted, ted, what are we gonna do with you?

1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries.

2. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.

3. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later.

4. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.

5. In this article we give attention to only some of Nice shack ya got there...when is Wilbur Whateley expected?the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.

porn foley artist…just as much of an asshole as other porn artists