Category Archives: Weird

keeping family traditions alive, Jessica Simpson fucks up onstage

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I disagree strongly with the websites calling this a “freakout.”

A freakout is ripping your extensions out and beating up your guitarist with drumsticks while tearfully screaming at the audience “You just don’t get it! You just don’t love me enough!”

Having to hold up your strapless dress, forgetting the words to a song, and running offstage in tears is simply having a Blonde Moment. Hell, Dolly Parton split her dress right up the middle and merely borrowed a coat to go onstage to collect her Grammy; that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between a pro and a flash in the pan. Actually, come to think of it, Jessica’s the only one who hasn’t flashed lately. Give it five minutes, though.

Britney, Paris, and Lindsay revealed!

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You can even see Paris‘ herpes sores! Is that the French Foreign Lesion?

From the inimitable Gallery of the Absurd. Britney, Paris and Lindsay as Botticcelli‘s The Three Disgraces.

The Three Disgraces

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Technorati me!

musical rollerblades: who needs an iPod?

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When you’re this guy you don’t. Say hello to Michel Lauziere of the comedy troupe “Les Foubrac” from Quebec, whom we ran across on Flabber, a strange Dutch site. This surely must be the longest musical instrument in the world, at over a furlong in length.

Cthristmas Ctharols for Cthulhu

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Merry Cthristmas! 

The Carol of the Old Ones:

Performed by The Dagon Tabernacle Choir:
Rebecca Marcotte, Digby Dolmen, J.D. Titan, and Walter Forsythe.

SOPRANO (LEAD) VOCAL

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Old Ones awake!
They will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when they are here.
They will reclaim all in their name;
Hopes turn to black when they come back.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it’s theirs again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary solstice
Very very very scary solstice

Up from the sea, from underground
Down from the sky, they’re all around
They will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when they are here

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Old Ones awake!
Madness will reign, terror and pain
Woes without end where they extend.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it’s theirs again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary solstice
Very very very scary solstice

Up from the sea, from underground
Down from the sky, they’re all around.

Fear

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars now are right)

They will return

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Technorati me!

hinterland’s who’s who: raincoaster

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Tagged!Like a roving orca, raincoaster has been tagged. Fortunately for the tagger, she had just eaten and wasn’t feeling particularly carnivorous, or she’d have gone all Shamu on his ass.

The chain lett- I mean “meme” is this: List six things about yourself that are weird (then tag six more people).

I know! I laughed and laughed.

Name six things about me that are NOT weird; that’s what I call a challenge.

Thing One About Me That Is Weird:
I still know the floorplan to Krak des Chevaliers, left over from my castle-obsessed phase when I was 12.

Thing Two About Me That Is Weird:
Twice I’ve been flown to another country by strangers who just liked what I wrote on the Internet and decided to buy me a ticket. Both times I met movie stars: Viggo Mortensen (three times, actually) and John Cleese.

Thing Three About Me That Is Weird:
I have a a collection of Christmas ghost stories that runs over a thousand pages.

Thing Four About Me That Is Weird And Here Is How Weird I Am, That It Only Occurs To Me Now:
I know Willy Pickton, the serial killer.

Thing Five About Me That Is Weird:
I can tell from the sound the seagulls make whether there is a bald eagle in the area. Seriously, I’m some kind of Downtown EastSide Grizzly Adams.

Thing Six About Me That Is Weird:
I can recite all of Jabberwocky as well as a large selection of other poetry and prose-poetry in English and several other languages, and do so at sound checks to intimidate the people who just say “test, test, one, two, three…”

It works, too.

Hmm, now who to pass this chain le- I mean MEME on to…