No, seriously. You can look it up: god hates shrimp.

In yet another aberrational moment, I am using a link someone posted in the comments section here, instead of something I stole mine own self off Gawker or Fark, as is the usual procedure ’round these parts.

It’s because I’m out of coffee; that would account for almost any aberrational behaviour on my part. I haven’t gone coffeeless in a number of decades, ever since the disastrous Inka experiment of ’86.

I’m assuming the link-dropper is also out of coffee, or perhaps in that blogger’s case herbal tea, as they requested specifically that I delete the comment they had just made.

And here I thought I was self-sabotaging!

Perhaps they fear the wrath of Cthulhu! In any case, here is the go-to site for all you shrimp-hating gods. I am interested to note that it informs me of a recently-overturned ban on shrimp-eating in Massachusetts and San Francisco. It appears that Christian fundamentalists there are now going to have to brave the risks of accidental apostology when consuming the jambalaya.

Play it safe, people: order the calamari!

We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.