Baked Lobster Caught!

Psychadelic Lobster, Carlin CarlinusHalf-baked, anyway. I suggest a scientific name Carlin Cheechinigus, but that’s subject to (dis-) approval.

This hallucinogenic beauty was caught off the coast of Maine, so the possibility exists that he was just on his way back from a wild party on the Gaspe, which would explain why he still looks half-baked.

Although it no doubt has an ironclad alibi. It’s underage, too, as are some of its most vociferous fans. Here is the report from the Bangor newspaper:

“Dude, it’s half orange and half, like, regular color for a lobster,” exclaimed Alyssa Bonin, 12, of Webster, Mass.

Sharp eyes there, Alyssa. Maybe a little bloodshot from the sounds of things, but still, sharp.

Mills intends to keep the two-toned lobster over the winter and have him on display for educational purposes, though he has no plans to name him.

“Lobsters are interesting but not personable,” he said.

We at the raincoaster blog beg, of course, to differ. Even our on the one hand shall not know what our on the other hand is doing

The rare 1-pound crustacean, caught earlier this week in Steuben, is a genetic mutation with a two-toned shell.

One side is the usual mottled dark green. The other side is the orange-red shade of a lobster that’s already spent some time in the hot pot.

The odds of this kind of mutation occurring are very rare – something like one in 50 million to 100 million, according to oceanarium staff. The chance of finding a blue lobster is far more common, at one in a million.

“Isn’t he pretty?” Bette Spurling of Southwest Harbor cooed Thursday as she stroked the lobster’s shell to calm him down.

Now that is the proper way to treat an addled celebrity. Not at all the way Jon Stewart did with the poor, hapless and handsome Butterscotch Stallion here (heartlessly stolen from Defamer):

 

Get Lucky

From the Generator Blog

Lucky Luciano seeks swf

Woohoo, looks like Lucky Luciano might just get lucky if he plays his cards right.
Is that a “straight”? Or just a straight line?

Today, in Giant Octopus News: Ursula and Britney, Separated at Birth

Ursula and Britney, separated at birth

from Cityrag, via Defamer

how to cook a story…with cellphones

I feel so ronrey. And out of touch. Because this is the first time I’ve seen this six-year-old story about how to cook an egg using cellphones.

Collect call for Betty Crocker

Vladimir Lagovski and Andrei Moiseynko of the Russian newspaper Pravda – Russian for “truth” – realized that most scientists wouldn’t risk their well being, financial or otherwise, by telling the truth about the dangers of cell phones, so they decided to find out for themselves.

They propped up two cell phones, using one to dial the other. Once a connection was made, they started playing a tape recording of a conversation to keep the phones active. In between the two phones the placed an egg. What they found was shocking…

Fortunately, the response is out there. Double fortunately, for those who read and are misled/confused by Mike Nugent, (Ted’s little bro?) Sploid‘s token (and apparently full of either whiskey or bullshit) scientist’s disproof*, there is an actual, real answer here.

“I really underestimated how many people would take it seriously,” he tells Gelf over email. “No other page on the site has grabbed people’s attention and ire button as much as this one. What seems to be happening is that it ‘travels’ from blog to blog, forum to forum. It was big in Australia last year and seems to be big in the US right now.”

According to Ivermee, the article got almost 50,000 hits during one week in September last year and last week got 18,500 hits. That number is sure to rise even more this week.

I mean, you could try it yourself and end up with raw egg and an enormous phone bill, but why bother? You’re not the type to conduct experiments: you’re the type to read blogs when you should be widget-pimping and report-formatting and throwing your enemies to the crocodiles.

Just read the truth right here.

*Mike is right, an egg is made largely of water. But so is a human brain. Read his response and conclude, correctly, that if water as a major component of the egg is the reason cellphones can cook an egg, then cellphones can cook a human brain just as easily. Fortunately for all of us, cellphones cannot cook an egg (see above, repeatedly if neccessary).

The nature of Nugent’s affiliation with the cell phone industry is unclear.

Letter o’ the Day: Dear Gawker, The Voices Say You Wanna Ride Shotgun

Hell, I’d say yes. At this point, it would be a step up.

Go to the Gawker site for the, uh, 50+ comments (did I mention I’m a Gawker commenter now? Well, guess what? I’m a GAWKER FUCKING COMMENTER NOW, bytches but I’m all, like, cool about it and shit) but I will repost the whole letter here. Hell, I’d even include the real name if I knew it.

Bonnie Fuller“?

John, meet Mark

From the mailbox, presented without comment:

Gawker,

• I’m trying to be #2 at US weekly, and have a paradigm shift for achieving this; my intuition is that if you could be on the staff of US, you would take it

• My soulmate is a hollywood actress, and I’ve been waiting patiently for her, for almost 5 years; I can demonstrate that we’re soulmates and I’m infinitely confident she would say yes

• I receive concrete signs from GOD, and can offer proof to ANY reporter in REAL TIME; I’ve been getting signs for over 4 years – I can assure you I’m not crazy or delusional

No, really. I'm not insane

My goal is to reach the editor of US weekly, Janice Min, and present her with my signs as well as my new paradigm for the success of her magazine. In exchange for your help, I promise you that if I get on the staff of US weekly, so will you. I have a bold new idea that I believe will be extremely popular and very invigorating to implement. It will be very rewarding and life-affirming working for US.

I have an intuition about youI feel good about this. No, really., as well as your website, that’s why I’m proposing this arrangement (US) to you.

Can we have an e-mail dialogue? Can I send you some of the signs?

Sincerely,
[xxx]

Is it so wrong of me to hope they say “yes”?