Porky Pig’s Blue Christmas

The greatest and most moving Christmas classic of all time.

That’s all, folks!

the spirits of the season

and I’m not talking brandy and rum for once. In our continuing series of inclusive, multiculti holiday features here on the ol’ raincoaster blog, there is one group we have overlooked; a group, it could be said, that has more right to representation on Jesus’ birthday than any other. A group with which he has a great deal in common. Indeed, they are a group in which he always took an unhealthy interest. We are going to rectify that omission now. We are going to post this heartwarming commercial from South America featuring a group to warm the cockles of your…cockles.

The accursed. The shunned. The murderous. The insane. The undead.

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Schweddy balls

Not your mother’s NPR holiday cooking show…

“Would you like to see my balls, ladies?”

“Whip ’em out!”

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…”

No-one can resist my Schweddy balls.”

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Flying Spaghetti Monster an imperialist plot by the military-industrial complex?

FSM manifestation over the Persian Gulf

The rocket-like rise of the radical new religion of Pastafarianism has seemed, at times, to be a much-needed antidote to the innumerable arteriosclerotic orthodoxies which hold us helpless in their grasp. But today new footage has surfaced, footage that leads us to question all we know about the so-called scrappy little altera-faith that could.

Is the Flying Spaghetti Monster and, indeed, all of Pastafarianism, nothing more than another control-minded plot of the Cryptocracy? As this devastating footage shows, manifestations of the so-called Noodly One in the sky have been created as part of a program using C-130 American military aircraft and their so-called “Angel Defence” system. Truly, it is a shockingly Orwellian society in which we find ourselves, where even the alternative beliefs are simply those manufactured by the government to distract us from the chafing of our chains.

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a Christmas gift for you, from me

Isn’t unwrapping presents your favorite part of Christmas? It’s even better when they unwrap themselves. This one looks much more expensive than the Kmart provenance would have you believe, and is sure to be popular with the gays and ladies among your acquaintance. One size fits most. What kind of sound does it make when you shake it, I wonder? If I ever meet anybody who got their ears close enough, I’ll let you know.

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