Easily the most hotly-anticipated film of 2009, and potentially the most explosive spy thriller of all time, the tsunami of testosterone which is Quantum of Dynamite is the tentpole holding up the hopes of an entire industry. If it succeeds, it will take entertainment itself to a new level. If it fails, all of the major studios, who collectively have invested over three hundred quintillionbillion dollars in the extravagant production, will be sold to roving gangs of Uzbek pawnbrokers, to be broken up and sold for scrap in the bazaars of the former Silk Road breakaway republics (Sharmuzistan, Szatinia, Kraypistan, and Georgette).

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have obtained a worldwide exclusive, procured at great personal cost (I know it was only one child, but everyone loves their eldest, don’t they?) an exclusive print of the fabled trailer for this monumental motion picture. Pour yourself a chocolate milk, shaken, not stirred, and settle down to watch the film that is to change the entertainment industry forever: