What time is it? Not Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

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That’s for goddam sure.

So. It’s that time again.

Yay, periods are fun!

What do I want? These:

Meat. Mmmmmm, meat!

Meat is murder

Bochox

Coffee, the OTHER Vitamin C

Viiiiiiiiggooooooo

Prada Sandals

What do I got?

  • dried pasta
  • a bag of chop suey vegetables
  • a half a container of 2% yogurt
  • a small tub of baby greens that was going off
  • a lemon and a half
  • one head of garlic
  • a jar of Ragu tomato sauce
  • coffee
  • twenty-five packets of artificial sweetener
  • a VHS tape of Walk on the Moon
  • a pair of seven year old Hi Tec trail runners.

It’s going to be a loooooong weekend.

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Lucy Liu attacked!

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Lucy Liu attacked by a school of horny cuttlefish!

Lucy Liu and the Horny Cuttlefish of Doom

It gets worse.

Lucy Liu and the Horny Cuttlefish of Doom, back attack

Yes, showbusiness is a sordid, gilded ghetto. Behind the flashbulbs and the awards, behind the makeup and the costumes, lies an ugly truth.

The Casting Aquarium.

Even Lucy Liu, the lovely and talented star of the Charlie’s Angels chick action flicks, cannot escape its greedy clutches. Smiling bravely for the paparazzi despite the slimy embrace of a school of hormone-crazed cuttlefish, she personifies what must be suffered in silence inthe unspoken struggle for stardom.

In what used to be known as a “Faustian Bargain” and is now called “a personal contract with Harvey,” comely starlets are subjecting themselves to the embrace of repellent, corpulent invertebrates from under the sea. As for what their agents can do about it…why don’t you ask this young woman:

Why is this file entitled Dating?

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Death at the Disco: Zombie Boogie Mix

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Don’t tell me you’ve never looked out on a dance floor and thought this.

The unusually well-chosen Zombie Playlist:

  • Turn the Beat Around (Love to Hear Percussion)
  • Ladies’ Night, Oh What a Night
  • Dress You Up
  • I Will Survive
  • Good Times
  • The Freak
  • Do That Conga

Please do not mistake these zombies for this Zombie. Nor this one neither.

Thinking it over, if zombies were behind the Disco Revolution then the innate feelings of revulsion which it caused in all right-thinking people were only our own instincts trying to warn us. Naturally it was taken up by the teeming, brainless masses. You know the type: “Oh, a trail of blood. Let’s follow it!” Next minute some zombie is going all sippy-cup with their cranium.

All I can say is, if you loved Disco and still miss it, the zombies probably ate your brain back in 1983 and you didn’t even notice. How are you enjoying middle-management?

quiz: what fruit are you?

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No fair saying “Ryan Seacrest.” Besides, I could never be that smarmy: I’m much more Paul Lynde.


You Are a Lemon


You have a very distinct personality. And if you’re not being sweet, you’re a little hard to take.

You’re a bit overpowering, especially in one on one situations.And while you are very dominant, sometimes your power is needed and appreciated.

You can liven up a dull situation, and you definitely bring a fresh outlook.

You are a bit of an acquired taste, and you tend to grow on people over time.

People feel refreshed and rejuvenated after spending time with you.

Pic o’ the day: Dragonfly

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Dragonfly with Dew

by Martin Amm, via Neatorama