An Open Letter to Bigot Diners

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A very nice piece on bigotry and ethnic dining. I should share this on the food blog, too.

Hajime's avatarsushiwhore.com (a retired blog)

Dear Customers,

We are honored that you have decided to dine at Mashiko.  We know that there are many fine restaurants in Seattle, so we thank you for the opportunity to serve you.

The thing that saddens us is that some of our customers are bigots.  This letter is address to them.  To everyone else, thanks for not being a bigot.

To the bigoted diners:  We find your ignorant comments to our staff offensive.  When you then post them online, you prove to the entire world how cowardly and small you are.  Our main points of contention are as follows:

1)            We are a Japanese restaurant because we serve Japanese food.  And yes, we have Japanese ownership.  We also have several employees of Japanese descent.  But that shouldn’t matter.  By claiming that there are no Japanese people working at Mashiko, you are not only incorrect, you are also demonstrating what…

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Hot Dog Legs has Legs

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Octodogs are eight times as hawt

Octodogs are eight times as hawt

What does it take to create a Tumblr that’s destined to go viral? Apparently it takes either: a) a Snooki-brown tan, a modicum of body oil, a good waxer, and an absence of visible musculature OR b) meat by-products.

Insert post-feminist joke here.

Hot Dog Legs is the very latest in one-joke virality, the new star in the firmament which already contains Jay Z’s 99 problems and exploding actresses, among many, many others. Hey, it’s Summer, don’t over-think things!

This Tumblr doesn’t even have any words to process, so there’s no risk of brain overheating. The concept is simple: photograph after photograph of the “same” thing. Are they hot dogs, or are they legs? Is that self-tanner or natural? Are those smokies or cheddar-stuffed? What does this say about the objectification of women and the human beings as meat metaphor? I don’t know, pass me another Margarita.

There is, it must be said, something about these photos that brings to mind cheap sunglasses, menthol cigarettes, and calories ingested in liquid form.

The post-literate simplicity of the site has not interfered with its popularity (to continue with the Snooki comparison). Their Facebook fan page was created less than a month ago, on July 28, and still has 3,186 Likes. The page’s own Likes include Gawker media, Sausages, 7-11, and the infamous, and apparently horsemeat-containing Ikea hot dog.

A few notes for aspiring legs and hot dogs: corn dogs will never work, because ain’t nobody got a complexion that bad. An even tan is essential, as is skin thick enough that the veins don’t show through. Don’t even think about trying this if you haven’t shaved or waxed recently, even if you’re blonde. There will be zero crossover between this blog and, say, FuckYeahHairyLegs, although the respective models might be interested in exchanging phone numbers.

I’m not where I expected to be

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My friend Caitlin wrote a very thought-provoking post on personal benchmarks, disappointment, fronting, and the meaning of life. You should just go read it now. I SAID GO READ IT!!!

broadsideblog's avatarBroadside

By Caitlin Kelly

I had a business lunch recently with a woman a bit younger than I. We both work for ourselves, battered survivors of the (most recent) recession, hanging on to long-term clients while seeking solid new ones, a combination we admitted can be exhausting.

We’re both married suburban home-owners.

Although we had never met, and knew no one in common, we felt comfortable enough to speak more personally.

“I’m not where I expected to be,” she said.

I sighed, with relief that she had said it, that someone else felt as I often do, that we could talk about it without self-pity or whining — but truthfully and candidly.

Where I live now, in suburban New York, one is expected, from birth onward, to be Very Successful. Those of us who live in apartments or modest homes, driving old vehicles and doing funky creative work with inconsistent incomes…

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Threading the Loopy: today in internet comments

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Kristen Stewart is So over your shit

Kristen Stewart is So over your shit

You’d roll your eyes too if you had to deal with this shit every damn day.

So, this thread was started, as many are, over on Gawker or rather the new Defamer where author “Anonymous” (not the one I know) called Kristen Stewart a “serial philanderer.” This is technically incorrect, as one can only philandize once married, and KStew has never been married. Thusly:

raincoaster

Technically she’s not the philanderer: he was. Wednesday 3:29pm

rosiedublinraincoaster

2

Shhhhhh. This isn’t about accuracy and facts, this is about using a tabloid narrative to destroy a young girl we hate because she’s our fantasy rival who always wins Rpatz from us in our dreams!! Don’t you know anything! Thursday 12:22pm

raincoasterrosiedublin

I can’t help it. I spent a summer in University reading etiquette books and just had to point that out. Saturday 5:26am

rosiedublinraincoaster

Wow. Interesting. I bet this site…and everything in the world, like, always…keeps you busy…doing that. But lame mild insistence that you’re actually not on the side of Bella Swan, and one half of ‘Robsten,’ noted grrl. ;) Saturday 8:51am

raincoasterrosiedublin

Psssst, rosiedublin, he is NEVER GOING TO BECOME AWARE OF YOUR EXISTENCE. Carry on with the rest of your life, and good luck finding purpose in it. Saturday 9:00pm

rosiedublinraincoaster

Um, since I’m not the one roasting his 22 yr old little gf over a spit in rabid vicious jealousy and clawing her face off, I think you better start repeating that mantra to your own cat lady ass or at least the bullying mad cows your pathetically trying to not appear in opposition to.

It’s okay – try this: your next post, just kick Kstew in the teeth once or twice, so they’ll think you’re one of them, my weasly cowardly little lemming. You initially came off as a possible pro Stewart voice in a sea of squalling vipers, with your little ‘philanderer’ correction…and we absolutely CANNOT have that. lol Yesterday 1:33am

raincoasterrosiedublin

1

See, this is why nobody likes you.

Your first post was lucid, and entertaining, and on-topic. Your second is … well, I’m going to assume you’re drunk. All day. Yesterday 3:30am

rosiedublinraincoaster

Because that’s my goal in life, to be “liked” by sad pathetic bullying cows who attack 22 yr old actresses dating their luuuuuv fantasy sex object. Hahahaha Today 12:30am

You take this amazingly seriously. How many years has it been since you left the house?

Operation Global Media Domination: The Mojave Phone Booth situation

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Lily Tomlin calls the Mojave Phone Booth

Lily Tomlin calls the Mojave Phone Booth

760-733-9969. Those 10 digits might signify nothing to the masses, but to the digerati, however, they tell one of the great stories of the Internet.

In short, the Mojave Phone Booth is back.

That’s the intro to my article on Jered Morgan’s resurrection of one of the most legendary phone numbers of all time. And here’s what one happy reader had to say about it. I remember this guy. Used to come into the Starbucks where I worked all the time. Nice guy. It did my heart good to see that at least one writer in the world was making enough to afford two lattes a day on money he didn’t have to make marketing stuff.

William Gibson was probably referring to Jered’s actions and not to my article, but I’m gonna take whatever I can get, right?

Someone else wrote a haiku about it:

Also, finally FINALLY I have been found Fark-worthy. Who knew people liked old-timey phone numbers so much?